f Page 3308 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How Matthew Stafford Is Spending His Summer Vacation
Clearly, these photos were taken far from Detroit. If you have any more information — where Stafford is, or why he's not surrounded by the Detroit Lions — let us know. That's all for now. Petchesky Fantastico is here tonight....

David Ortiz Has Your Comment Right Here
Down by two, bottom of the seventh ... three-run home run by Big Papi. Now what were you saying about 2003? [Video via NESN/MLB Network]...

Hawaii Coach Apologizes For Accusing Notre Dame Of Gayness During Dance Routine
Before last year's Hawaii Bowl, Notre Dame and Hawaii met for a pre-game banquet in which the Rainbows-turned-Warriors did the ha'a and the Fighting Irish performed a cheer, which Hawaii head coach Greg McMackin tastefully deemed "a little faggot dance."...

Clinton Portis Was Just Experimenting With His Hair Color, Not Dudes, Thank You
The intrepid Dan Steinberg is once again wandering around Redskins training camp and in his quest for gold, he struck oil instead by tapping the fertile mind of Clinton Portis about that Sisquo hairstyle he sported earlier this offseason....

Vikings Retirement That Somehow Doesn't Involve Brett Favre
Vikings defensive end Kenechi Udeze is retiring from football so that he can focus on his battle against leukemia. See, if you're having trouble deciding whether or not resume a career, this is an acceptable reason....

Brees On Gitmo: "The Worst Thing We Can Do Is Shut That Baby Down"
Super Bowl winning quarterbacks go to Disney World, while an all-around good guy like Drew Brees scores an all-expenses-paid trip to Guantanamo Bay. Sounds dreamy, right? According to Brees, Gitmo ain't so bad....

World-Class Athlete Requires Liposuction To Stay Fit
Aging Brazilian legend Ronaldo went to the hospital for a broken wrist and had doctors throw a liposuction on the bill. How do you expect a guy to work out when he's busy playing all that soccer? [The Spoiler]...

The NFL Distracts You From Gambling With Beer Pong
The NFL is all about building morally upright citizens, which is why they don't cotton to things like fightin', whorin' and gamblin'. But maybe while waiting to watch the big match, you might enjoy their sober new ping pong game....

Your Supremely Violent AFC Fantasy Football Preview
This week's fucking Deadcast guest is fucking Andy Behrens from fucking Yahoo! (Listen here, iTunes here.) FUCKTASTIC! Together we have produced, by far, the most useful fucking Deadcast to date....

Lisa Mayfield Did Not Appreciate The "Whore" Remarks
NASCAR's Jeremy Mayfield is being sued by his stepmother, Lisa, for "slanderous, false and defamatory statements" she says he made about her. You mean the murdering whore thing? Wait ... you were upset about?...

Charlie Hustle Finds A New Muse
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Of All The Horrible Moves The NHL Has Made, This Is...Maybe Not Even Top 10
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

NHL Exec Shoots And Misses With Fox News Ice Queen
When a Florida Panthers executive went on Fox News to talk about unemployment, he did what we'd all like to do, if we had no sense of decorum or shame: he macked on their anchor like nobody's business....

Jamal Anderson Does Not Really Want To Be A Porn Star Named Axel Steelcock
Jamal Anderson doesn't need this agita. A cocaine possession charge in February, and now somebody's hacking into the former Falcon's Facebook account? Well, at least that's what he'd like you to believe....

Bobby Bowden Has Had Just About Enough Of Your "Rules"
FSU's 14 forfeited wins puts Bobby Bowden a distant second in number of all-time D1 victories. The dignified thing to do would be to accept it, move on, and try to outlive outlast JoePa. That's not how Bobby rolls....

A One-Day Study On Use And Variance Of "Pussy" Uttered By Brian Urlacher
First Bobby Wade said that Brian Urlacher called new teammate Jay Cutler a pussy. Urlacher denied it. Then Urlacher said the radio stations starting this nonsense were the pussies. Explanations and clarifications disrupt a quiet Wednesday in the Windy City....

Sources: With Favre's Decision, ESPN Will Have To Turn Elsewhere For Worthless Scoops
One of the many tragedies of Brett Favre's non-unretirement is that Ed Werder and Chris Mortensen, ESPN's Woodward and Bernstein of the small-bore, will no longer be feverishly working their anonymous sources for the world's most trivial Favre scoops....

Omar Minaya: Mix Master No More
It was just two years ago that Omar Minaya was a Sports Illustrated cover boy and subject of a fawning profile in which he was referred to simply as O. As in: Oh my, how things have changed....

Brett Favre Wants To Let You Know Just How Much He’s Suffered
As usual, King swoops in on the story after all the important details have past, and allows Favre his little soapbox to wallow in self-pity and general shitheadery. Let's hit the first paragraph....