f Page 3330 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

L.A. To Lakers: Throw Your Own Damn Parade
We all had lots of fun joking that Pittsburgh was a bankrupt urban hellscape, but at least the city could afford to throw its hockey team a victory parade. Los Angeles? They think they left their wallet in another state....

Sammy Sosa Reportedly Tested Positive For PEDs In '03. Whatever.
Sammy Sosa was among the players who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, The New York Times is reporting, a revelation that means nothing whatsoever unless you care about Sosa's Hall of Fame chances or the Fourth Amendment....

Who Is The Lucky Pierre In This Joe Buck Live Rundown?
Last night, on The Laugh Hour with Joe Buck: Artie Lange firebombing the set, Brett Favre cursing, Ochocinco and Michael Irvin, and "Amy Sedaris' brother" in a Braylon Edwards moment. The media dissects Joe Buck:...

Ohio State Fan Dots The "I" In Iranian Revolution
You've got to be kidding me. A young gentleman in Buckeye attire is now the poster child for freedom in Iran. Let's just hope the Revolutionary Guard doesn't recruit in Florida. [Photo: Oliver Laban-Mattei/AFP/Getty Images]...

Injured, Indicted Wide Receiver Would Like More Money
Denver's Brandon Marshall, whose offseason started with hip surgery and will end with a trial for domestic battery, thinks now would be an excellent time to demand a trade. Who wouldn't want to add those intangibles to their roster? [850KOA]...

Griffey Tickles Ichiro's Fancy, Armpits
Today, the Tacoma News Tribune takes a long look at the blossoming friendship between Ichiro and Ken Griffey Jr. Among the many touching revelations: Griffey will tickle Ichiro until he calls out what one might describe as a safe word....

Would You Like To Buy A Car From Ed O'Bannon?
This is an interesting Sunday profile of former UCLA star Ed O'Bannon. Interesting, because you could probably substitute "Ed O'Bannon" for the name of any athlete coming to terms with his fading glory and it's pretty much the same article....

Donte Stallworth Makes Plea Deal In DUI Manslaughter Case (UPDATE)
Cleveland Browns wide receiver Donte Stallworth has reportedly reached an agreement with prosecutors and will plead guilty to DUI manslaughter charges later today. Terms have not been announced, but he is expected to serve jail time. (30 days. Update below.)...

Jeff Pearlman Apologizes For Becoming Mike Lupica When He Ripped Mike Lupica
" Maybe, in the act of jabbing Mike Lupica, I've actually become Mike Lupica. If so, it's not the way I want to live. I took the Lupica post down."[JeffPearlman/GraneyandthePig]...

Cocaine, Bunny Rape And Lyndon LaRouche: A Children's Treasury Of Tall Tales From Pro Wrestling
Here's your reading material for tonight: "The Urban Legends of Professional Wrestling!" — all 460 of them. If you thought pro wrestling was a wholesome endeavor whose practitioners did not enjoy stuffing the Medellín Cartel up their nostrils, think again....

Hockey Insanely Popular (For Just One Night)
Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals was the most-watched NHL game in 36 years. So maybe when the league starts up again in four months, some of those people 8 million people will remember it exists! [LiveFeed]...

Golf Coverage Is A Little Too Reverential For Boomer
Chris Berman, on his detractors: "Constructive criticism is great, but to say I have an act would be missing the point. You're never going to please everyone anyway." So he's got that goin' for him, which is nice. [Watchdog]...

College Baseball Fans Not Used To Being On TV
Mike Irwin of KFSM in Fayetteville would just like to talk about Arkansas baseball, but some slack-jawed SEC fans just can't resist a chance to be on the teevee. Get your hands off him, you damn dirty apes!...

Florida Gators' Go-To Lawyer Has Some Issues Of His Own
The Orlando Sentinel, still tub-thumping about those miscreant Gators, has profiled attorney Huntley Johnson, who often handles the players' legal run-ins. What the paper doesn't mention: Johnson once suggested that his secretary "get down" on his "hog" and "honk it."...

Mike Florio Makes The Leap From Loathsome Gossip To Mainstream Building Block
Yesterday it was announced that feisty little Italian, Mike Florio, and his Pro Football Talk site were partnering with NBC Sports. The timeliness of the move after the Blogs With Balls weekend was telling....

Brandon Jennings Is Just Being Real About Ricky Rubio (Updated)
Who does Ricky Rubio think he is? The best point guard in the NBA Draft? A Spaniard? Spare me, says Brandon Jennings, who can't even front when it comes to hating on his European brethren....

Phil Jackson: Greatest Coach Ever or Luckiest Schlub Of All Time?
Phil Jackson now has more NBA titles than any coach in NBA history—so he's the best coach in NBA history, right? Or could a diaper-wearing monkey win six titles with Michael Jordan on his team? Fight!...

Everybody Pile On D.J. Mbenga
First, Rudy Gay called him "ugly", then Reggie Miller revealed on the Dan Patrick show his text to Barkley after Lakers victory: "can you believe that DJ Mbenga and Adam Morrison have rings?"...

Plaxico Burress Saga Will Never End
Remember this guy! Captain Sweatpants? Ringing any bells? Well, you may have assumed that he was already in jail or worse (the CFL), but his trial hasn't even started yet. And now it won't until 2010! Did someone say J-E-T-S?...

Simona Halep's Spanish Fans Form Facebook Group To Save Her "Pupus"
I have no idea what "pupus" are, but something tells me it has nothing to do with her ground stroke. [Facebook via Salir a Ganar/PHOTO: Tennisrulz/StephaneMartinache]...