f Page 3363 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Masters Update Unlike Any Other
Chad Campbell is -5 through seven. He's tied for the lead with Shingo Katayama. Yes, it's very early. [Masters Leaderboard]...

Time Running Out To Bid On Bernie Madoff's Mets Tickets
Bernie Madoff's Opening Day Mets tickets are now on sale. Don't worry; nine innings with the San Diego Padres will only seem like a prison sentence....

Your Frozen Four Preview (Settle Down, Everyone)
Did someone say BEMIDJI?! College hockey's national semifinals are tonight and these folks will explain it to you. They make giant beavers out of snow in Bemidji, Minnesota. [Rumors and Rants; Hoover Street Rag; Randball]...

The 'Boo Teixeira' Movement Seems To Be Losing Steam
And so we have an early indication of why Mark Teixeira chose the Yankees over the Orioles this offseason. Game 3 of the series today at Camden Yards: Good seats still available....

ESPN Brings Out The Sad Trombone
When your whole reason for being is fun and games, it's tough to strike the right tone when real life intrudes on your happy time. (Ahem.) On live TV—you win some, you lose some....

All Right, I'll Attend Your Stinking Workouts
After saying that he wouldn't attend the Bills' voluntary offseason conditioning program because it was, well, voluntary, Terrell Owens changes his mind and shows up on Wednesday. [The Buffalo News]...

The French Will Not Let This Lance Armstrong Thing Go
Lance Armstrong has never failed a drug test and that makes French people insane, but like anyone with a good enough lawyer, they may have found a loophole to punish him anyway....

Nothing Says Quality Like John Daly Merchandise Purchased From A Bus
John Daly may not be allowed to play in The Masters, but that doesn't mean he can't still profit. May he interest you in some slacks?...

Fenway On Ice
Sources say the Boston Bruins will host next year's Winter Classic at Fenway Park. If someone doesn't get checked into the Green Monster, I'll want my money back. [Puck Daddy]...

Angels Pitcher Nick Adenhart Killed In Auto Accident
This is sad. Just hours after he finished pitching six scoreless innings for the Angels last night, the 22-year-old pitcher has died....

San Francisco Giants Advertising Copy Written By Giggling 12-Year-Olds
The Giants marketing department will apparently just write anything down on a piece of paper and consider their jobs done. Please leave all "ball"-based puns to the professionals. [Big League Stew]...

Do Not Cross The Hillsdale College Baseball Team
In a tradition as old as baseball itself, an editor who criticized the Hillsdale College (Mich.) baseball team's putrid record found his front porch decorated with dead animal carcasses, including a shotgunned goat....

Why Do The Mets Hate Children?
There was a time when the New York Mets welcomed young children into their stadium with open arms, but now that they're in a new clean stadium and not some old junkyard....screw those kids....

Ted Kennedy Still Looked Better Than Lincecum
"Thank God this isn't Deadspin, or the comments would be loaded with 1.3 retarded Massholes typing "GO SOX!!1!!!@!!!" [Wonkette]...

It's Good To Be Bill Macdonald
Fox Sports West's Bill Macdonald has been a popular LA-based broadcaster for more than 20 years. Unfortunately, Halos Heaven ran some photos of him getting cozy with a young woman outside of Angels Stadium....

Lions Take Stafford At No. 1. Rams, You Are Now On The Clock
At least that's what Pro Football Talk is reporting, with the caveat that interest in the Georgia QB may just be a clever smokescreen (ha ha, but anyway ...). [Pro Football Talk]...

Tank Johnson Is Obviously Confident That He's A Changed Man
The former Bear/Cowboy/convict has just signed a one year deal with...the Cincinnati Bengals. [ESPN]...

NFL Prospects: If You Don't Want To Damage Your Draft Position, Keep Your Dirty Details Off The Internet
Here's a fascinating story from Yahoo!'s Charles Robinson about how some NFL teams create phony social networking accounts to do some clandestine character background checks of potential draft picks. This is what we hath wrought....

OK You Pissants, Make Way For Randy Johnson
There's been little wailing and no gnashing of teeth in the Bay Area over Tim Lincecum's underwhelming '09 debut on Tuesday. That's because A. The Giants won, and B. Their headliner is actually starting tonight....