f Page 3409 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Time To Hide The Sausage
• Nightmare Ant weeps: Wow, those small Western athletic conferences really take their mascots seriously. Oh, I'm sorry, maybe that should have read: "really don't take their mascots seriously." [Storming The Floor]...
Lions Tattoo Takes "Lovable Loser" Thing A Bit Too Far
We're all very proud of the Detroit Lions and their perfect season, and it's highly unlikely that we will ever fail to remember their legendary futility. So maybe the 0-16 tattoo is a bit much....
Jag Off!
Does Boston have a newspaper that would actually use that headline? Either way: the NY Post ( who would definitely use that headline) are reporting that the BC coach is officially out. 3 p.m. press conference scheduled. [NYP]...
Octogenarian Writer Leaves Rickey Henderson Off HOF Ballot; Hilarity Ensues
Rickey Henderson is a lock to be voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame, but will he be the first-ever unanimous selection? Sadly, no ... thanks to this man!...
At Least Reggie Bush's Hands Are Still Okay
The Saints' sizzle back had some micro-fracture knee surgery and will rehab for months. A lot more serious than previously suspected, but he shouldn't miss mini-camp. Or cuddle time. [NOLA]...
Hero Photographer Canned By Fussy Ski Resort
The identity of the photographer who took the by-now legendary Ski Lift Pantsless photos has been revealed. We know that, unfortunately, because he had been employed by Vail Resorts, which fired him....
Report Says Bulldogs Backfield Going Pro
Georgia's Matthew Stafford and Knowshon Moreno are good—but not good enough to go No. 1 to the Lions—so they both feel confident enough to declare for the NFL Draft. [ESPN]...
Jeff Jagodzinski Reportedly Signs His Own Death Certificate
According to the New York Post, Boston College will follow through with its promise to fire coach Jeff Jagodzinski if he interviewed with the Jets. He did...so "He's done," said a BC source....
Hockey World Is Filled With Finger-Biting, Child-Mugging Thugs
The two tough guys got tangled up near the bench early in the first period, when Peters' hand got a little too close to Ruutu's mouth, so Ruutu bit down—through the glove—drawing blood. Naturally, Peters got a game misconduct, while Ruutu got nothing except a stick to the groin from Peters' teammate...
Clearly, He's Not One To Respond To Hollow Threats
National Football Post, again: "Sources close to the National Football Post have just informed us that Boston College head football coach Jeff Jagodzinski has, in fact, interviewed with the New York Jets." '[NFP]...
Sadly, No One Told Vincent Jackson That Buzzed Driving Is Drunk Driving
If nothing else, Vincent Jackson's timing is impeccable: The Chargers wide receiver was arrested for DUI early this morning. Norv is thrilled, I'm sure....
The World Series Of Drunk People With Too Much Time On Their Hands
• You're still an alcoholic: Look, no one is impressed by morons throwing ping pong balls into beer cups except other morons. Oh, and Rick Reilly. [LAist]...
Drew Brees Wins Offensive Player Of The Year
Good things happen when you have a mole removed. [SI]...
Terry Bradshaw Under The Influence Of Jay Leno
What did Terry Bradshaw have to drink in the Tonight Show green room last night? On second thought, that's pretty much just standard Bradshaw, isn't it?...
Sifting Through The Many Curious Deeds Of Mr. Charles Barkley
Charles Barkley surveys the charred wreckage of his life following events of the past seven days? No, although the metaphor is apt....
BCS Voters Can't Be Bothered To Watch Utah Play Football
Utah is 13-0, but the voters who help determine the BCS rankings know that the Utes are probably about the fifth best team out there. How do they know? They just do, okay!...
Yeah, Give Him A Red Card. I Dare You
Ha, watch closely; about two minutes in, even the bull realizes that soccer is a dull game, and stops charging. He's thinking "getting maimed with swords is better than watching this."...
And It Only Took Them 307 Years
Hey Bulldog: Former Jacksonville Jaguars assistant Tom Williams is hired at Yale, becoming the school's first black head football coach. [Hartford Courant]...
Yes, Virginia, There Are Other Buzzsaw Fans
An hour before the tailgating area in Glendale opened Saturday, I met more Arizona Cardinals fans than I'd met in my life. There were three. We were packing the car....
49ers Bid A High-Pitched, Frenetic Adieu To Joe Starkey
Joe Starkey is retiring as play-by-play voice of the 49ers. Don't recognize the name? He's the broadcaster who always sounds like his testicles are wired to a car battery, as this legendary clip demonstrates....