f Page 3424 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

SHOTY First Round: Dana Jacobson Vs. Erin Andrews
It's the final first round matchup, and it's a fun one, methinks. Ah, if only these two pictures could somehow be combined. Anyway, this is the last time with a new matchup. So everybody vote. Yes, please, Facebook people too....

49ers' Willis Employs Five Pointed Palm Exploding Heart Technique
The big question in San Francisco right now: Should Mike Singletary be kept on as head coach next season? The overwhelming sentiment so far is yes, although Jets' wide receiver Brad Smith may not agree. If there were ever any doubt as to whether the 49ers would begin to take on Singletary's rabid pe...

NHL Referee Needs Mouth Washed Out With Pucks
The Buffalo Sabres beat Pittsburgh on Monday, but with no thanks to the boys in zebra stripes. The Sabres were on the short end of three different 5-on-3 situations and even got a bench minor for "abuse of officials." Although to hear Sabres goalie Ryan Miller tell it, the officials are the ones who...

Shiancoe Speaks
"Shiancoe says that everyone calls him Shank. He said Dan could call him the "Junk man" if he wants to. Dan has a new one that he hopes to use on NBC on Sunday night: "The Equipment Manager." ' [Dan Patrick Show]...

More Dong From The NFL Vault
Another tale of televised locker room nudity: This time it involved the Redskins' Jeff Bostic and George Michaels' Sports Machine, and it was no accident. [The Coach Is Killing Me]...

Fascinating Things You Probably Don't Want to Know: Skip Bayless Is Ripped
Skip Bayless is easy to despise for many reasons, most of which stem from the fact that he walked away from a very encouraging career as a print journalist for a new, more lucrative one as...whatever he does by senselessly arguing on "First Take." But would it make him more or less tolerable if you ...

Prep Football Star Shoots Himself During Traffic Stop
Billey Joe Johnson, a 17-year-old high school running back from Mississippi, died of a self-inflicted gun shot wound during a routine traffic stop yesterday. The junior tailback from George County High School was one of the top-rated prospects in the country and reportedly had scholarship offers fro...

Goodbye Cruel Hexagon-Paneled World
I have threatened suicide many times — the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber is the chief culprit — but I can't imagine this. A soccer fan in Rio de Janeiro climbed to the top of a stadium roof and tried to jump off, all because his favorite team, Vasco de Gama, was going to be demoted from the first lea...

Afternoon Blogdome: Because The World Needs More Red Sox Merchandise
• Camouflage?: The Red Sox are getting a new logo? As long as we can all still identify which fans need a punch in the face, it's okay by me. [Sox and Dawgs]...

Did Visanthe Shiancoe Flash On Purpose? One Ex-NFLer Thinks It's Possible
Regardless of what Visanthe Shiancoe told Minnesota gossip columnist "CJ" after he found out his dangling member was revealed to the world, Shiancoe's agent, Tony Agnone, says the Vikings tight end was "sorry it got on television." The damage-controlling Agnone also said Shiancoe's greatest concern ...

Non-Nude Attorney Updates Us On Nude High School Cheerleader Story
Further details in the Bothell High (Seattle area) nude cheerleader case, because I know that you're concerned. The attorney for the two girls, who were suspended for texting nude photos of themselves to the football team, appeared on a local television show this morning. And it wasn't a cooking seg...

USC Wins Hypothetical Playoff According To Vegas Odds
Leave it to Las Vegas to sate all our needs. Even those we didn't know we had before. (I'm looking at you midget escort service.) Everyone knows that the idea of a playoff is so awfully complicated that it would require a Manhattan Project-level commitment before anything could happen. Or, you know...

Star-Tribune Columnist: Ask Not For Whom The Dong Tolls
The Minneapolis Star-Tribune writer who scored an interview with Visanthe Shiancoe on Monday was pretty much just covering her beat, as it turns out. Meet C.J., gossip columnist and unofficial nudity reporter, who happened to see Shiancoe exit a limousine at Trocaderos Restaurant, and got the first ...

High School Running Back Has Trouble Finding The End Zone (Literally)
Whose idea was it to paint the lines on a football field white? Did they realize that when it snows—as it often does during important late fall playoff games—it's impossible to see where you are on the field? That's why T.J. Peeler of Broad Run High School just assumed he had already reached the end...

Help Give West Virginia A New State Motto
On Saturday Bill Stewart provided what I thought was the finest ending to a college football press conference ever, with his poetic, somewhat cracked and nonsensical ode to the state of West Virginia. So in his honor, let's compose a new motto for his state in the comments. I know you can probably d...

The PLAYOFF Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals
Of all the pictures taken during The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals' NFC West-clinching "win" over the St. Louis Rams on Sunday, that one there is my favorite. It is somehow perfect that, when the Arizona Cardinals won their first division championship since 1975 (the year I was born!), the ...

Just Chill, Baby
Oakland Raiders take unique approach to upcoming game with Patriots; take four straight days off. [Thoughts From The Dark Side]...

Do The Lions Still Have The Stink Of Matt Millen On Them?
You gotta feel for Dominic Raiola. The Lion's center was the second player ever drafted by Matt Millen and has been forced to play every single game of his terrible reign in Detroit. So Dominic is understandably frustrated with the way his otherwise successful career has developed. Can anyone really...

Antonio Bryant's Left Hand Can Snatch Eagles From The Sky
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call will return for a brief period of time through the holidays. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....

It's Giant Balls Vs. Dwight Schrute For Hearts And Minds On Super Bowl Sunday
In a bold frontal attack that makes Pickett's charge look like a game of Red Rover and the Normandy Invasion seem like a visit from the grandparents, ABC will storm NBC's programming fortress on Super Bowl Sunday with the intent of stealing ever viewer possible. Their weapon? The obstacle course she...