f Page 3505 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Congratulations, Kid. You've Been Drafted.
Tomorrow night in Ottawa, dozens of kids too young to legally drink will be drafted by professional hockey franchises willing to devote time, effort, and a boatload of money to turning them into Stanley Cup Champions. The NHL Draft will kick off Friday, and for that, we turn to Melt Your Face-Off, w...
Javon Walker's Las Vegas Bludgeoning Won't Result In Any Missed Time
Although the details of what in Wayne Newton happened to Raiders' receiver Javon Walker early Monday morning are still being investigated, he has been released from the hospital and it appears the orbital smashing he received won't , according to Raiders' coach Lane Kiffin, keep him out of training...
Media Approval Ratings: John Feinstein
The first time we ever read a book that had the word fuck in it was in John Feinstein's Season On The Brink. Bobby Knight liked to say that word a lot. It was also the first time we had seen the c-word. We were 14 years old....
The Nets Are Pulling Out All The Promotional Stops
Well, we suppose this was inevitable. Now that the Nets have lost Jason Kidd and look like they're not going to be particularly compelling until they get to Brooklyn — just a mile or so from our apartment! — they've breaking out the big promotional guns: cheap gas!...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
PGA Braces For A Year Of Living Tigerlessly
The PGA tour is now officially in trouble. Tiger Woods, athlete of the century, god amongst golfers and multi-blade razor pitchman, will have knee surgery to repair a torn ACL that will keep him out the rest of the 2008 season. Tiger, taking a break from having acrobatic intimate relations with his ...
Favre Golf No-Show Fuels Comeback Speculation
So I'm looking forward to the American Century Celebrity Golf Tournament at Lake Tahoe more than ever this year; in addition to the usual suspects, the field will include Dennis Miller, the lovely and vivacious Rick Reilly and the par machine that is Joe Buck. I'm also curious to see how Charles Bar...
The Slow Transition Facing The Buffalo/Toronto Bills
This charming little piece of graphic design is the official logo for the Buffalo Bills' games in Toronto this year. They will be playing there twice this year, once an exhibition game August 14 against Pittsburgh, and a regular season game December 7 against Miami. Many Bills fans fear the games ar...
Javon Walker Speaks Cryptically, Nonsensically About His Violent Night In Vegas
Okay, this makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but it is "a statement" from Javon Walker about what he says happened during his infamous champagne-spraying night in Vegas. And which lucky media outlet gets the first quote from Walker? TheDirty.com, of course. Here's what Javon told the venerable +...
Celtics Fans Deliriously Happy, Somewhat Hung Over This Morning
• "Michelle You Look Great Tonight Girl!" I love Kevin Garnett but he officially scared the hell out of me tonight! Did you see Michelle Tafoya trying to interview him right after the buzzer sounded at half court? He went off on some crazy rant, looked at the camera with evil eyes, told Michelle she...
Congratulations, 2008 NBA Champions Boston Celtics
We spent last evening at Professor Thom's , the Boston sports bar here in New York City. (Apparently, it used to be Riviera's, but then some bartenders got fired, or something; it's difficult to keep track of such matters.) We were engulfed in a swarm of New Englanders, the people who, over the las...
There's No Stopping The Green Monster
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who plans to spend the day celebrating the Boston's long-awaited 17th title. This almost makes up for Larry Bird transforming into a fat gremlin. When he's not doing green and white shots, he can be found trying not to toss his cookies at Basketbawful. Enjo...
About Last Night
What you missed while loading the photon torpedoes of love ... • NBA: Celtics beat Lakers 103-83 131-92 to take series, move on to face ... wait, it's over? The NBA season is over? Oh blessed summertime, I can embrace you now! Fresh air, flowers, glorious sun! WE ARE FREE! • College baseball: Smack ...
Respect Thy NBA Champion, The Boston Celtics
It was only a year ago that the Boston Celtics were the de facto punch line for "bad team." Going 24-58 will do that. But now they're the definitive basketball champions of the continent. Paul Pierce should just retire now, because his basketball stock can't possibly rise....
Every Inch Of Justin Miller Tells A Story
Florida Marlins' pitcher Justin Miller has never really proved himself as a top tier major league pitcher, but whatever lacks in strikeout numbers, he makes up for in body art. Lots and lots of body art. The fact that he is paid a major league salary is secondary, as tattoo freak magazine Inked did ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after buying high heel shoes for your baby ... • College World Series: in Omaha, North Carolina vs. Fresno State (7 p.m., ET). Party on, Omaha. [ESPN2]. • NBA Finals: Game 6, Lakers vs. Celtics (9 p.m., ET). Game is so late due to media's notorious west coast bias [ABC]. • MLB: Cubs at...
Marvin Harrison Case Still Not Anywhere Close To Being Solved
And in other, non-champagne-spraying troubled wide receiver news......
NBA Finals Preview: Celtics-Lakers Game 6
Basketbawful has broken out the highest quality Wiccan spell components - mutant worms, baby poo, a lock of Fabio's back hair, a ninja's shin bone, and Britney Spears' first training bra - to uncover the darkest mysteries of tonight's NBA Finals game....
He Calls This Move 'The Spanish Prostate Exam'
For those considering a career in bullfighting, please feel free to use this as your screensaver. One of Spain's big shot matadors was gored not once, but twice; including this most excellent shot by a bull who obviously knows what he's doing. And so Jose "The Balls" Thomas is forced to choose a new...