f Page 3512 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
University Of Nevada's Football Players Lack Adequate Driver Designation Skills
Here's a brilliant display of a group of collegiate athletes woeful abandonment of alcohol-imbibing responsibility, as three University of Nevada football players were pinched over the Memorial Day weekend for DUIs, including senior wide receiver, Mike McCoy, pictured holding the ball in a less ine...
Spend The Hereafter In Style Thanks To The Grand Prairie Airhogs
Being a San Francisco Giants fan, I often think of death; but so far I haven't made any firm arrangements. That could all change tomorrow when I head off to the Grand Prairie Airhogs game, where they are giving away a free funeral to one fortunate fan in their All Hogs Go To Heaven Funeral Giveaway....
Terrell Owens Can't Seem To Avoid Getting Photographed Near Jiggling Buttocks
Last we'd heard from Terrell Owens, he was angrily unleashing his lawyers upon the BangBros. after his photo "accidentally" showed up in the promo for "Spring Break Ass," the story of a spunky college co-ed and her fluffy badonka-donk's Miami misadventures....
The Patriots High School Cheerleader Baffles Those Wanting To Accurately Leer
From the booby-centric miscreants over at Busted Coverage comes another time-wasting exercise that guarantees you will spend an unhealthy amount of time anaylzing teenage girls on the internet. The New England Patriots announced their 2008 cheerleading squad and one of the newest members is curren...
Free Darko On Los Angeles-Boston
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the NBA Finals matchup between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Boston Celtics. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals....
WHIP It Good, Folks: Fantasy Baseball Continues Unabated
Good news for everyone who likes the fantasy baseball; the Supreme Court has decided not to hear a case filed by MLB (and the Players Association) that would require independent vendors to pay for the use of their statistics....
Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee In A Pringles Can
By anyone's estimation, Frederic J. Baur lived a full life. The organic chemist and food storage technician lived to the ripe old age of 89. He and his wife had two sons and four grandchildren. But chief among his accomplishments, he thought, was his design of the Pringles can. That's why, come chec...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while keeping your opinions to yourself......
Enterprising Red Wings Fan Finds Clever Way To Give The Penguins More Money
19-year-old Zach Smith, native of Cleveland but lover of the Red Wings, devised an ingenious scheme that would not only allow him to throw an octopus on the ice of Mellon Arena last night before Game 4 but still be able to watch the game after he got tossed. His very canny, super savvy plan: buy an...
Manny's 500th Homer Inspires Bouts Of Tumbling
If you don't properly fumigate for Red Sox fans, they'll show up in droves at your stadium. Take cautionary measures, people. That was the case last night at Camden Yards, as the vermin all packed in for a chance to see Manny Ramirez's 500th homaaaahhh. And the high-fivin' one came through. One guy ...
The Legend Of Kimbo Slice Takes 38 Consecutive Blows To The Head
I can't speak for the other MMA newbs out there, but I learned a few things during the EliteXC broadcast last night: apparently all MMA fights are stopped well before necessary. That and Kimbo Slice might not be living up to his outsize reputation. First, the announcer described internet sensation w...
The Size Of Zyg Gregorek's Boat Is Just Fine, Thanks
If you're searching for the world's greatest fisherman look no further. And here I thought it was the guy on the Gorton's fishsticks box. Anyway, a British angler has caught nine species of shark, including the great white, which led some international organization of big-game fishermen to dub him t...
Whitlock Says No Tattoos, No Fat Chicks Equals Ratings Bonanza
Jason Whitlock has a new column fortified with eight types of essential craziness, arguing that one of the main reasons ratings are up for the NBA Playoffs is that many of the teams that hung around are devoid of tattoo-clad ruffians and street toughs. Another shocking revelation: fat people have se...
If R. Kelly Should Be On Trial For Anything, It's Inspiring This
The MERKIN mercilessly turns out attention to this spoof of R. Kelly's "Ignition" honoring the Red Wings' Henrik Zetterberg. Does this mean he pees on girls, too? ...
From Cheerleader To Puck Bunny
NHL.com wises up, hires former Texans cheerleader to...something something cheerleader. [Japers' Rink]...
Bill Simmons Puts On His Defeatist Hat
Oftentimes, Boston sports fans cringe when people uphold former Boston Sports Guy and current L.A. resident Bill Simmons' ramblings as a representative of their thoughts as a whole. And that's even when he thinks Boston teams are doing well. Some of them are taking added umbrage with Simmons' most ...
Noun. 1.) A Generalized Loss Of Feeling In The Testicles 2.) Roger Clemens
With Erin Andrews frolicking around backstage, who could blame eventual grand champion of the spelling world Sameer Mishra to let loose a little Freudian slip? How else is he supposed to sublimate that sexual energy? Rub your finger on your hand any harder and it's playing with yourself....
NBA Playoffs: Celtics-Pistons, Game 6
Basketbawful has broken out the highest quality Wiccan spell components - coffin nails, dead sea salt, glory water, graveyard dirt, and a very phallic ritual candle - to uncover the darkest mysteries of tonight's NBA playoff game....
Your "Let's Get Out Of Here Already" Friday Afternoon Picture Post Of Surrealism
We're making this a Friday afternoon tradition. Somebody arrest that moose, fast....