f Page 3530 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch with your new friend, Mr. Happy Toilet ... • Arena Football League: Chicago at Kansas City (8:30 p.m., ET). Here's hoping for plenty of air-time for the Brigade Girls. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at Cleveland (7 p.m., ET). Hopefully it will be above 12 degrees. [ESPN] • NHL: Western Conferen...
The Cowboys Have A Preferred Long Distance Provider
They're still constructing the Dallas Cowboys' new stadium, and if you're one of those people who thought the Cowboys were too iconic a franchise to fall prey to stadium naming right, well, stop being so foolish....
Mike Tyson Can Turn Darkness Into Light
Are you depressed? Feeling scattered and out of control? Being chased by those pesky frowny-faced cartoon clouds all day? Well, perhaps you could go on medication and seek out professional help or you could just talk to Mike Tyson, who's offering to help lift the spirits of athletes in need. Or, at ...
Erin Andrews' Calves Await Your Scrutiny
This candid photo of ESPN college sports vixen Erin Andrews attempting to gain the attention of a well-Under Armoured Tim Tebow suggests that the popular NCAA reporter princess is working very, very hard to get a salient quote from the Florida quarterback during the Gators annual spring game....
In Praise Of The Devil Rays
Some fun facts about your Tampa Bay Rays: Their Class AA affiliate is the Montgomery Biscuits ... Jeff Niemann, who won his major league debut on Sunday by throwing six innings of one-run ball, is already known by Rays fans as The Knight Who Says Ni ... with Niemann moving up to the bigs, the Rays ...
New York Now Free From The Menace Of Buried Cloth
There have been a little more than 9,000 unsolved murders in New York City since 1985; many of the victims buried in cement, do doubt. But thank God we've solved this case: The Yankees have dug up a Red Sox jersey on Sunday that had been planted beneath their new stadium by a construction worker. An...
Some Guy Other Than Tiger Wins Masters
There's something inherently charming about the ceremony that follows a Masters Championship. For winning the most prestigious golf tournament, you don't get a trophy, or a plaque, or an oversized check. You win a jacket. Here, friend, congratulations; have a jacket. Stay warm, friend....
Let's Get Ready to Clap Politely!
Welcome fwends, to our coverage of Sunday at the Masters. The leaders are underway, and already Immelman (-10) and Snedeker (-8) have given a stroke back to the field (which is struggling a bit itself). Continue after the jump a breakdown of the leaders and contenders, as well as an updated leaderb...
Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man
The Visitor's Locker Room compares Green to a legendary infomercial pitchman, but I've always enjoyed this guy... ...
That's One Sad Duck
The defending champion's from Anaheim are in some trouble after suffering a second home loss to open their series with the Dallas. A 5-2 victory puts the Stars in control of the first round series as the teams head to Dallas for the next contest. Things were tied up heading into the third period whe...
I'm Not Your Fwend, Buddy
You see, she's dressed like that because it was... raining. Forget all of that, the rain is gone and everybody is on the course in Augusta. Jim Nantz just called me his friend, so you know we're ready to go. Defending champion Zach Johnson is putting together the round of the day, but all his -4 ro...
Bryant Mercifully Leaves the Booth
Bryant Gumbel does excellent work for HBO Sports, but as a play-by-play announcer for the NFL Network he was terrible. Fortunately both parties came to terms with that fact, and we will no longer be subjected to any of his two-minute "mournings" or legendarily indecisive first down calls. Awful Anno...
Springtime For Meyer
• In Progress — CFB: Florida Gators Spring Game. Tebow is sick and Harvin has heel problems that tend to plague men of similar greatness. [ESPN] • In Progress — Tennis: WTA Bausch & Lomb Championships, Semifinal. It's Maria Sharapova and Lindsay Davenport if I'm not mistaken. [ESPN2] • 2:00 — Hockey...
Woodrow's Woes and Rory's Belt
Rory Sabatini will have plenty of time to do some more shopping at Hot Topic this weekend, as he became one of the top players to miss the cut at the Masters. Those who did survive the first two days at Augusta National are now underway despite a bit of atmospheric wetness. KJ Choi is already +3 fo...
Nightmare Fuel From the NHL Playoffs
Holy sweet fucking God! I'm just going to sit here for a minute while appreciating my non-destroyed testicles. Continue after the jump for last night's scores, because we might as well talk about hockey as long as we're here. Oh, and a big thanks to Enrico at the 700 Level for making this the first...
The Beckham Men Enjoy Our Finest Athletes
• The Lakers still have a shot at catching the Hornets for the top spot in the Western Conference, and they came out playing like a team that wants homecourt advantage. LA outscored New Orleans 39-20 in the first quarter before the Hornets tenacious second half comeback. However, the Lakers perseve...
About Last Night
What you missed while audibly yelping with glee... • Boxing: Carlos De Leon Jr. > Buddy McGirt Jr. De Leon proved to be the better son of a former champion when he stopped the previously undefeated McGirt in the seventh. • MLB: The Yankees proved their supremacy over the Red Sox with a 4-1 April vic...
Steroids Still Working For Shawne Merriman
Tonight, we assume you are being good Americans and going out on the town to spend, therefore fortifying our flagging economy. However, if you are one of those recluses who spend your Friday night at home getting stoned and watching Animal Planet — and by "Animal Planet," we mean "reruns of Mad Mone...
Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.
Here's a pretty amusing video unearthed by the kids at Fan IQ, which features Max Kellerman, ex of just about every sports channel in every capacity, in his pre-WWL days doing his best 3rd Bass impersonation with his late brother Sam. (Sam, sadly, was viciously murdered back in '04. Gorgeous story ...