f Page 3599 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while sitting on your Concorde jet toilet seat... • 8 p.m. — NCAA Football: Auburn at Florida [ESPN], Ohio State at Minnesota [ESPN2]. It's not October yet, and OSU is already playing it's second road game. Man, what a schedule. • 8 p.m. — Movie: The Office. I'm trying to think of a qu...
So Much For Michigan Jokes
The Notre Dame jokes have outnumbered the Pam Ward jokes, so you know it's serious in South Bend. But Michigan and Illinois are both 2-0 in the Big Ten. South Carolina and their Smelley Cock may dodge an upset by Mississippi State. And my Air Force over Navy prediction looks completely wrong. Oh, an...
Differences Between New Orelans and Malibu Beach Are Subtle
So here we are at 3:00. LSU is beginning to pull away from Tulane, but still is too long away from a 40-point win. Michigan is coming back against Northwestern, Duke (!) has narrowed the Miami lead to three, and even though Notre Dame is on the board, you Deadspin readers might as well be the Purdue...
Gamecocks Are Aromatically Content With Their Quarterback Situation
Most of you seem to be watching either Michigan-Northwestern or Purdue-Notre Dame. Which makes sense, because, well, that's what's on. Purdue is shutting out UND, while Northwestern holds a 13-7 lead over the Wolverines. In other games: LSU has a mere 10-9 lead over Tulane, Illinois leads Penn State...
It's Funny, Because Erin Andrews Is Hot, Unlike Charlie Weis
I'm not anywhere near a TV right now — Starbucks doesn't believe in college football — but I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that Erin Andrews interviews Charlie Weis on College GameDay. Totally a wild guess. Now, on with Hugh II: And the Nedyssey Continues......
Why Would You Bet On Kids? I'm A Man! I'm 40! Bet On Me!
Unsilent Majority isn't here this weekend to help you bet on college football. Actually, to tell you the truth, I'm not here to help you either. But if the following college football bets turn out to be true, consider it dumb luck....
Show 'Em Your O-Face, Brian
We hope you're excited, Bears fans; as The Sports Hernia points out, You now have Bill Lumbergh as your starting quarterback. Yeah ... we're gonna go ahead and have you play on New Years Eve this year, Rex ......
It's An Exciting Time In The World Of Sports-Themed Beverages
As detailed yesterday, carbonated beverage lovers were overjoyed to see Jones Soda roll out five new exciting flavors based on the Seattle Seahawks, all based on things found in Holmgren's mustache. The flavors: Natural Field Turf Soda (featuring Josh Brown), Sports Cream Soda (featuring Matt Hassel...
Who Will Be The Next Athlete To Have A Kinky Sex Fetish Revealed?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Ookie Is No Dummy
Ladies and gentlepeople, we have finally figured out what we will do if we are ever convicted of a felony, other than "try to grow a mustache and move to Turks and Caicos." We're gonna make sure we smoke as much weed as possible, and then get caught....
OJ's Different, More Philly Lawyer
One of the nice things about these new O.J. Simpson charges, for journalists, is that it's a helluva lot easier to get Simpson's attorneys on the phone than it was 12 years ago. This is no high priced dream team; this is a guy named Yale from South Jersey, and now he's chatting with AJ Daulerio....
Bring Your Umbrellas To Paul Brown Stadium On Monday
There might be no better metaphor for the beginning of the Cincinnati Bengals' season than the fact that fans have been noticing bird poop in their beers....
All Aboard The Rockies Freight Train
We don't know about the rest of you, but as the National League makes its mad scramble to the finish, with still no playoff spots secured, the team we're developing an emotional attachment to are the Colorado Rockies....
Jose Offerman's Lawyer Is Awesome
We are not experts in legal matters — we leave this to Deadspin LLP — but we'd have to think Jose Offerman is gonna have a difficult time convincing a jury that he didn't attack a minor league pitcher with a bat. But what do we know? Maybe he'll use the "I thought I saw a mosquito" excuse....
Drink Up, Sports Fans
In the tradition of Michael Jordan (or Derek Jeter) cologne comes a flavor of Jones Soda that's designed to make your mouth a-water: It's perspiration soda....
Drew's Guide To The Proper NFL Viewing Position
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Goodbye, Barry! Goodbye! We Love You! (Leave, Already)
Rick Chandler, San Franciscan, Giants fan and associate editor of this here site, muses on Barry Bonds' last home game as a Giant....
Ladies, Line Up For Roy Williams
Lions wide receiver Roy Williams is making $1,515,000 this year, which is actually a little less than you might think, considering Jon Kitna is being paid $5 million. Therefore, Williams, under such obvious financial constraints, has to keep a close eye on his bottom line. That is to say: He's amazi...