f Page 3600 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Trojans Fans Have Their Eyes On The Prize
It is good to know that USC fans, with their team continuing to steamroll opponents, taking a moment to support the underdog....


Barry's Final San Francisco Goodbye
Whether it's fair or not, there's only one baseball place on earth where Barry Bonds is beloved: AT&T Park in San Francisco. And tonight's the last night he'll ever be able to bask in that love....

Brett Favre, On The Edge Of History
This week, in Minnesota, Brett Favre is likely to break Dan Marino's record for most career touchdowns, notching 421. This will give him a one-touchdown lead and, of course, a one-Super Bowl lead. But we always forget: Favre is on the precipice of another record Sunday as well....

Our Pick For The Worst Football Coach
We've already made fun of Norv Turned today, but, you know, at least he has shown some aptitude as an offensive coordinator in several different locals. If he weren't coaching the Chargers right now, we might not even be thinking about him — even praising him. But there's no excuse for Dave Wannsted...

God Apologizes For Helping Kitna
Lions quarterback Jon Kitna, just eight wins away from that preseason prediction, claimed last week that God healed his concussion, allowing him to play last week against the Eagles. You might have wondered what God thought about this. Well, Sportsline's Clay Travis has talked to God, and he's sorry...


BREAKING: Ron Mexico Smokes Pot!
So this is gonna blow your mind, folks: A couple of weeks ago, when matters might have been somewhat stressful for Michael Vick, he ... tested positive for marijuana. You think you know a guy....

The Norv Turner Hall Of Horrors
We hate to harp on this whole Norv Turner thing — really! — but when we were looking for a picture to go with MJD's Smorgasbord column this week, we knew we wouldn't have to search long to find an anguished photo of Norv. We think it was already on every other site anyway....

ESPN's Disastrous "Town Hall Meeting"
We didn't watch ESPN's timely Michael Vick Town Hall Meeting last night, but from just about every account, it was a total disaster. The audience was so partisan for Vick — which, to be fair, is the opposite of what you typically see — that anyone who so much as pointed out that Vick confessed to el...


It's Furries Vs. Klingons For All The (Lost) Marbles
Man, oh man, how we wish we were in Atlanta this weekend. It's the Furries vs. Klingons bowl-off. If there's anybody out that way who wants to pop by and let us know how this goes, consider yourself officially encouraged. We only wish Bob Uecker were around for it; Furry conventions are never the s...

You're Responsible For The Death Of Tradition
We have not played golf in five years; we pretty much only play at bachelor parties, which is why people always make fun of us at bachelor parties. (This is not the only reason.) But when we do play, we're Charles Bronson in The Great Escape: We're digging tunnels....

MLB And ESPN Are No Longer BFF
That ongoing feud between ESPN and Major League Baseball — which was launched when ESPN announced the All-Star team minutes before MLB was about to, "exclusively" — has graduated from the All-Star Game to the postseason. ESPN isn't covering any postseason games, and now, it looks like, they don't ev...

There's Only One Answer To The Bears' QB Problem
After Sexy Rexy Grossman's third consecutive — or fourth, or fifth, or whatever — horrific appearance last week, Bears fans are screaming for backup Brian Griese. But let's not forget: He's got plenty of baggage himself....

Joba Is The New F—k Lion
By now, you've probably seen these photos of various New York Yankees rookies dressing up like characters from The Wizard Of Oz. We definitely enjoy Joba Chamberlain's impersonation of a f—k lion....

Kansas City Wolf Will Protect This House!
Notice how the guy is enjoying his moment in the sun until confronted by the wolf, at which point he hesitates like a frightened deer, allowing stadium security to mop him up. This is classic wolf hunting technique; the alpha male driving the prey toward the rest of the pack, which then brings it do...

This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole on...

OSU Phenoms Love To Make New Friends
When you're a young, flashy, super phenom freshman quarterback, you have all kinds of opportunities to impress your coaches. You can put it extra time at practice. You can spend your school hours studying game film. You can run extra sprints. The world is at your disposal; you never get a second cha...