f Page 3783 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kwan Excited About Choking Again
We don't pay much attention to figure skating — obviously — but we have always been amused and befuddled by the intense popularity of Michelle Kwan. (We once knew a grown woman who had pictures of her all over her wall. She was a sensitive sort.) Yesterday, Kwan announced that she will participate...
How To Give College SIDs Something To Do Over The Summer
As former sports editors of our college papers, we can assure you: There is no more loathsome creature than the college sports information director. Secure that what they're doing is important, believing they're really a part of the team, they wield their small-town "power" as if they truly hold the...
Leftovers: NFL Lowers Horsepower
NFL bans horse-collar tackle, in the most dramatic rule change in league since the actual ban of horses. [Football Outsiders] Roddick ousted from Open as the last American left in France is kicked out. [Tennis-x.com] Rickey Henderson, 46, makes his Surf Dawg debut. Long Beach Armada to counter with ...
The Ron Mexico Name Generator
Our friends at Gorilla Mask have come up with a lovely device: The Ron Mexico Name Generator. It's easy: Just type your name in, select your gender and whammo, you can go incognito just like our man Vick. (Strangely, there's no form for "sexual history.")...
Kurt Warner: Buzzsaw Savior
We try not to get into the details of what team in particular we root for around here, but this seems an innocuous enough admission: We love the Arizona Cardinals. This is not some kind of postmodern hip anti-conformist persona; Nobody loves the Arizona Cardinals, so we do! We are serious about th...
Leftovers: Oh, Put a Cork in it, Sammy.
Sammy Sosa swings at critics who say he dodged White Sox. Makes case by using frantic hand gestures. [Chicago Sun-Times] Your French Open update: Davenport, Venus survive. Now, take a breath and go on with your day. [Tennis-X.com] Mall magnate vows to keep team in Minnesota after Vikings sale approv...
Some Helpful Advice For Jerry Rice
The official word is in: Jerry Rice will play for the Denver Broncos next season. To help Jerry get around in his new digs, knowing his past proclivities, we helpfully provide him a sampling of area businesses....
The Vanishing N'Awlins Scene
Legitimate question: Is there any point to having sports teams in New Orleans anymore? The Hornets can't draw any fans after just two years in town, the Saints stink and are hated by the five Louisianans who care and now they're the top candidate for the inevitable NFL move back to Los Angeles. S...
Even Jeff Gillooly Is Starting To Feel A Little Sick
Harding Ready For Next Fight [Boxing Talk]...
Leftovers: Whither Thou, Jerry Rice?
Rice may decide on Broncos today. Aging receiver would run patterns on Lark scooter. [Rocky Mountain News] Hey, didn't we just fire him? Brian Hill is back running the Magic. Wheee. [The Sports Network] Agent says Ricky Williams will attend Dolphins camp. But then, his agent says a lot of things. [M...
Isiah Finally Turns To The WNBA
You know it had to happen eventually. Isiah Thomas, whose plan seems to be to single-handedly rampage everything he comes across, Godzilla-like, is now looking for coach candidates from the WNBA. According to the Newark Star-Ledger (that's the paper with Jimmy Hoffa buried underneath), Bill Laimb...
Breaking News From The Couch
ESPN resident lunatic Stephen A. Smith reports that 76ers coach Jim O'Brien has been fired by the 76ers. We had this news first, because we can type faster than the drones at ESPN.com....
Leftovers: Jim Brown, Lacrosse Man
Look out! Jim Brown has a stick! Evidently, the greatest running back ever was even better at lacrosse. [Associated Press] Firms go all-in to buy NHL. $4 billion offer does not include Phoenix Coyotes. [Eklund's Hockey Rumors] CSI: Hattiesburg: Conference USA and Big 12 football considers using inst...
Tiger Woods Remains World's Whitest Man
Tiger Woods didn't play in whatever bland, corporate-sponsored backslap-fest the PGA Tour hosted last weekend, but that's because he was in Las Vegas. Gambling away millions? Snorting lines off stripper cleavage? Drinking milk past its expiration date? Anything? Of course not. It's Tiger Woods. H...
Ricky Williams 15 Pounds Lighter, And It Ain't The Hair
In the wake of the news that Ricky Williams is eager to rejoin the Miami Dolphins, Florida Today's Carl Kotala gives five reasons why Ricky should return and, to be all schizo on us, five reasons why he shouldn't. Being a sportswriter, he throws a couple lame Whizzinator and Lenny Kravitz jokes i...
Tillman's Parents Blast Military
Pat Tillman's parents blasted the military yesterday for lying to them about the circumstances of their son's death. Tillman, a former strong safety for the Arizona Cardinals, was killed by family fire in Afghanistan in April 2004. "The truth may be painful, but it's the truth," says his mother. "Yo...
Leftovers: Will Rice And Clarett Be Friends?
Jerry Rice's desperate search for employment could land him in Denver. [Denver Post] Onterrio Smith dismissed from Vikings. Wonder what he'll do with his spare time? [Minneapolis Star-Tribune] Kentucky slightly less egregiously racist than it was 20 years ago. [ESPN.com] Group of dorks already doing...
Somewhere, Mark Cuban Is Smiling
Charges Dropped Against Hockey Owner Who Punched Referee [Danbury News-Times]...
Lineup Set For Lingerie Bowl III
In case Paul McCartney doesn't do it for you anymore, the happy folks who organize Lingerie Bowl III have announced their lineup for this year's Pay-Per-View extravaganza. Jenny McCarthy and Cindy Margolis are the biggest names, and the organizers are optimistic. The significant drop in this past...
We Love The Fat Basketball Players
With ESPN's Chad Ford crying Chicken Little about the potential of an NBA lockout, we got to thinking about the last NBA lockout. Remember that one? Like hockey, nobody really missed the NBA when it was gone, but that didn't stop the players from putting together a Pay-Per-View game in Atlantic C...