f Page 3783 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Setting The 1 o'clock Table...
• Pittsburgh @ Cleveland. Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger makes an emotional return to Ohio, where he was only good enough in high school to be runner up for the title of Mr. Football in 1999. So if you you see Ben running around the field screaming, "Where's your Bam Childress NOW, bitches?" you'l...
Portis Now Getting Costume From Garage Sales
Just for the record, yesterday Redskins running back Clinton Portis wore a old leather football helmet, pigtails and Groucho Marx glasses. He called himself "Inspector Two Two." We have no idea what any of this means anymore. At this point, he's just cleaning out the neighbor's closet. In the fin...
Leftovers: More Fun With Chemicals
• Lawton apologizes for steroid use while with Yankees. [USA Today Sports Weekly] • For whom does the ringing in your ears toll? It tolls for thee: A month after concussion, Jets' Chebret calls it quits. [Manassy Watch] • Maradona arrested for using hands at airport. (Actually, for arguing). [MSNBC]...
A Chesnning Boat Trip
This is cheap, but come on, who cares, you know? We just can't resist a good Chesnning story....
Athlete Run-In: Marcus Fizer's Lack Of Ones
We know we said we were gonna take some time off from the athlete run-ins, but it's the Thursday before Christmas, the wireless here is spotty (but the coffee's surprisingly good) and we want to get home early so we can be made fun of by our uncles for our hair. So here's a bonus athlete run-in st...
Free Crap From The Bowl Games
Our weekend-comrade-in-arms The Mighty MJD — he'll be updating here all day on Christmas Eve, because he's that damned devoted — has dug up some fascinating info: A rundown of the swag bags bowl games are giving out to their players....
Tony Dungy's Son Dead Of Apparent Suicide
In an absolutely horrible, tragic story, James Dungy, the son of Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy, has been found dead in a Florida apartment building....
End Of Days For Quin Snyder
Well, OK, we're back in brittle, frighteningly cold South Central Illinois right now — where, unlike, New York, we at least didn't have to walk to work — and we watched that Illini destruction of Missouri last night. It was so brutal that we took less joy in the victory than sympathy for Missouri,...
Back Home For Braggin' Rights
Every family has its tradition over the holidays, and this is ours: We go back to our hometown of Mattoon, Illinois to watch the annual Busch Braggin' Rights college basketball game between our beloved Illini and the Missouri Tigers. It might seem silly to those weaned on the opposite coasts, but ...
Leftovers: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat
• "Faster gentlemen, he's gaining on us": Rowing team attacked by shark. [NZ Stuff] • Gifford, Meredith to appear on MNF for one last hurrah. [Reuters] • Puerta banned eight years for doping. He was caught following a match he lost. [Pro Tennis Fan] • Boxers scuffle down in the 'hood. Er, actually i...
Soon, They'll Start Stealing His Chicks
So here's a completely strange story: Apparently USC quarterback Matt Leinart — perhaps you've heard of him — was apparently suspended for the Rose Bowl for, like, an hour....
An Interview With The Facebook Princess
A couple of weeks ago, we abandoned all pretense of the high, proper standards of sports blogging and just directed you to Facebook photos of Florida State "superfan" Jenn Sterger. Now she's going to be in Maxim in a couple of months, in Playboy after that and, in the biggest coup, is giving inter...
We're Going To Resist A "Giving Him Blue Balls" Joke
See that? That's a Christmas ornament as designed by Colts quarterback Peyton Manning for the Alive Hospice. It's kind of cute, a hand-drawn little angel. Other ornaments featured on the site include designs by Amy Grant, LeAnn Rimes, Tennessee governor Phil Bredesen and, yes, country music croone...
Sweet Lord, Let Him Not Be Kidding
Last week, Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson disappointed us — and pretty much every sports fan we know — by scoring a touchdown and simply handing the ball back to the ref....
Eventual, Delayed Justice, Miami Style
We're not sure if you can call it a "happy" ending, or even anything resembling justice, but, after a semester of institutional idiocy, at least things will be slightly back to normal....
Leftovers: Sportsman (hic!) Of The Year
• Sporting News picks Leinart as Sportsman of the Year. We agree. [The Sporting News] • Chelios, 44, will take a break from watching taped Matlock episodes to play on the U.S. Olympic hockey team. [Sports Matters] • Shaq calls Lakers owner a liar? That's what we hear. [LakersTalk] • Soccer player su...
You're Doing A Heckuva Job, Ticey
Imagine, if you will, Ron Artest blasting fans for getting in fights, or Damon Stoudamire organizing a protest against High Times, or Fred Smoot screaming at those who would use contraptions to "please" two women who happened to be lying prostrate on the deck of a boat. Hypothetically speaking....
The End Of Brett Favre, For Real This Time (Probably)
It has been so long since Packers quarterback Brett Favre was good that it would almost seem mean to continue thrashing him if it weren't for the John Maddens and Peter Kings of the world still treating him like Jack Twist treated Ennis Del Mar. (We imagine SI editors, in the Michelle Williams rol...
Fred Smoot Is Depressed
Well, here's a surprise: Vikings cornerback Fred Smoot has had a little different first year with the Vikings than he initially thought he would. (Not to be crude, but, uh, "holding a double-headed dildo and moving the dildo while each end was inserted into the vagina of two women" is a phrase tha...
Ben Troupe Will Do Anything For His Teammate
Well, we're two months in, so we suppose CBS Sportsline's rad, dope, duuuude "SPiN" section was due for a worthwhile story. Though it's not the same since they made E-Mack! go back to his Christian name. And this morning, we have to admit, they've got one: All respect....