i Page 6102 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tim Cahill Scored The Fastest Goal In MLS History

In a matchup rife with Supporters' Shield implications, RBNY's Tim Cahill got things going quickly. Historically quickly. From 20 yards out, just seven eight seconds in....

Calvin Johnson Is Unguardable

Vontaze Burfict is 6'1". Reggie Nelson is 5'11". George Iloka is 6'4". Calvin Johnson is 6'5", but more importantly, Calvin Johnson is Calvin Johnson....

Bum Phillips' obituary in the Grey Lady included some excellent quotes, especially Ken Stabler comparing himself and Phillips to "piles of cow manure." [NYT]...

Martin Biron retires from the NHL: The 16-year veteran decided to call it a career after being waived by the Rangers. It's just a matter of time before the universally liked Biron gets a media gig. [NYRangers.com]...

Ben Hartsock Does His Best MLB Ump Impression As Chris Long Is Ejected

Defensive end Chris Long was ejected from the game after throwing a punch during a Rams-Panthers scrum in the third quarter, and tight end Ben Hartsock made sure to let Long know with his best baseball ump impression: "You're outta here!"...

Geno Smith Still Struggling With The Ball-Spiking Thing

He's Not S.A.F.E.

Nick Foles Is Struggling, And Marcus Vick Is Loving It

It's an unexpected defensive showdown in Philadelphia, as the Cowboys lead the Eagles 3-0 at the half. Nick Foles is starting for the injured Michael Vick (and would probably be starting for a healthy Vick too). Though Vick recommended starting Foles in fantasy football this week, he's just 11 of 23...

Jay Cutler Injured, Questionable To Return [Update: Out]

Congratulations Jay Cutler! You just became the most-sacked Bears quarterback of all-time, with the 158th punishing blow coming courtesy of Washington's Chris Baker. How are you going to celebrate? By heading to the locker room with a groin injury? Oh....

Must Have Missed The Jersey Swap

Check Out Oregon's Pink Uniform Schemes

The Oregon Ducks steamrolled Washington State 62-38 Saturday night, and they looked aesthetically pleasing doing it, donning pink accessories for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It must be fun to play on a program with an infinite uniform budget. Even coach Mark Helfrich wore a pink polo....

Rex Ryan's Odd Obsession With Passer Rating

According to the New York Times, the Jets coach "cares deeply" about passer rating, that much-maligned, simplistic, often misleading statistic dismissed by many as a curio. He uses it to evaluate his and opposing quarterbacks, and considers it one of the leading indicators of team success—even as it...

The Cowboys' Salary Cap Situation Is A Hot Mess

Giving huge extensions to Tony Romo, Sean Lee, and Miles Austin seemed like a good idea at the time, but next season, it could seriously bite Jerry Jones in the ass....

Your Guide To Giving A Shit About The Red Sox-Cardinals World Series

Though it will feature the two best teams in baseball, this year's World Series will be painful for non-fans of the Red Sox or Cardinals. It's the least appealing matchup out of this postseason's 10 teams. It'll achieve better ratings than Giants-Rangers, sure, but why should any casual viewer feel...

Swedish Bandy Goalkeeper Survives Bear Attack

Bandy goalkeeper Henrik Karlström was attacked by a bear Saturday during a hunting outing in Sweden's woods. Wait, what's bandy?...

We Have An NHL Goalie Goal

With 0.1 seconds left on the clock in Saturday's Coyotes-Red Wings game, Phoenix goaltender Mike Smith scored his first career goal after flinging the puck into Detroit's empty net. Whether or not Smith was actually aiming for the net, he doesn't have to admit it to anyone now....

Which TV Market's Getting Screwed Today? Your Week 7 NFL Viewing Maps

A guide to the best and worst of the NFL slate (and to which fans are stuck with the most of worst). Maps via 506sports.com....

No Matter How Far You Go, You Can't Outrun Stupid

You think you've exhausted the myriad avenues available to you in which it is possible to be an idiot at life and then you have a week like this one. Whatever the opposite of Mad Genius is, that's me. Recovering Fatass Soundtrack: Sane Moron Edition. Let's get down to brass tacks, shall we? Your Spo...

Man Knits 12-Foot Scarf While Running Kansas City Marathon

David Babcock, a professor at the University of Central Missouri, chose to create less boring small talk in the future by knitting a giant scarf as he ran the Kansas City Marathon. And he isn't the first person to do this, apparently....