i Page 7925 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pistol-Wielding Old Man Would Like To Play Through
It is super annoying when you're out on the golf course and the group in front of you is playing very slowly, but I was not aware that I had a "moral obligation to destroy" these duffers with hollow-point bullets....
Once Again, Frank Deford Can't Hide His Horny Old Manliness
Frank Deford has always been infatuated with vivacious young tennis stars, so it's not surprising he'd offer his take on the recent ITF grunt ban considerations with a creepy I'm-typing-this-pantsless approach. SportressofBlogitude gives the porny rundown on Deford's latest column....
Weird Details Emerge About Ed Thomas' Accused Shooter
This is Mark Becker, the 24-year-old charged yesterday with killing Iowa coaching icon Ed Thomas in a high-school weight room. On Saturday, he attacked a former classmate's home with a bat and led police on a high-speed chase. [WCFcourier.com]...
Magglio Ordonez Loses His Magically Silky Hair
After being benched for terribleness, the Tigers "slugger" has shorn his legendary flowing locks. (You can maybe buy them on eBay.) So did it have the intended Reverse Samson effect? Two-for-four! Against the Cubs? Ok, that's inconclusive evidence. [Detroit4Lyfe]...
Landon Donovan Says Spaniards Were Not Gracious Losers.
Donovan told Dan Patrick this morning that the team didn't do the traditional exchange of jerseys after the United States stunned them. He guesses the team was "frustrated." You think? [DPShow]...
Two Sportswriters You Meet In Hell
Yesterday, we shared with you one delightful tale about Phil Mickelson and everyone's favorite deadline Napoleon, Mike Lupica. To this, a SportsJournalists.com anonym has added another — one in which Mitch Albom makes a cameo, and Loopy gets his comeuppance....
The Sad, Hilarious Tale Of Elvis Grbac, 1998's "Sexiest Athlete Alive"
This is an epically comical story courtesy of SI's Jeff Pearlman, that includes the following absurd characters: Rich Gannon, Elvis Grbac, the Kansas City Chiefs, and a dim-witted People magazine photographer. Prepare to feel life-long sympathy for Grbac....
LSU Is Your National Oyster Diving Champions
I believe that's what this sign refers to. No one is really sure what those SEC schools are up to when football isn't in season. [Daily Reveille]...
Off-Duty Cop Shoots Two People In Angels' Parking Lot
An incident in the parking lot at Angel Stadium last night began when two men hit another man in the head in with a beer bottle and ended when the third man pulled out his gun and shot them....
The United States-Spain Aftermath: Fun With Google Translations
"Suddenly, the fluid Xavi football, friendships imaginative patent associations disappeared. United States, with its two lines that tightened the nuts of a submarine, had sprayed the tiqui-taca."...
Obama To Throw Out First Pitch At All-Star Game
He will be the first president to attend an All-Star Game since Gerald Ford, but only the third White Sox fan to get drunk and beat up a first base coach. [MLB.com]...
LeBron, Meet Your New Teammate: Shaquille O'Neal
The Cavaliers and Suns have reached a deal in principle to send Shaquille O'Neal to the Land of LeBron, Yahoo! Sports reports. Ben Wallace, Sasha Pavlovic and a pick to Phoenix. No confirmation from @THE_REAL_SHAQ yet. [Yahoo!, Twitter]...
And It's Erin Calipari To The Rescue Again...
The amusing fake John Calipari Facebook page that was accumulating many gullible Kentucky "friends" at an alarming rate is finished. And only one person could stop this devious fake Calipari from perpetrating anymore dupes upon an unsuspecting Wildcat nation....
Ric Bucher Assures Kevin Love He's Not Trade Bait, Via Twitter
Bizarre. I feel like we've crossed some sort of cultural Rubicon when reporters are using social-networking sites to inform players of their trade status. [SharapovasThigh]...
L.A.'s World Champion Looters In Action
The Times has video footage of Laker fans looting a convenience store and it's an impressive display of teamwork, precision, and commitment—unlike the actual NBA Finals. [LA Times]...
A Great White Shark Ate This Man's Hand
I find it amazing how after surfers get attacked by sharks ,some of them jump right back in the ocean and continue the sport with less body parts. But here's another handless Aussie surfer walking through the raindrops....
Tom Verducci Has Found His Latest Anti-Drug Mascot: Joe Mauer
Oh, lookie. Here's Tom Verducci, once again on the cover of Sports Illustrated, once again turning real live baseball players into toy soldiers whom he can draft into his own personal war on steroids....
American Newspapers Can't Quite Afford Wimbledon Coverage
Filip Bondy reports that only eight papers — the usuals plus, uh, the S.F. Examiner? — sent tennis correspondents overseas, and some aren't even there yet. To be fair, though, that's one reporter for every 6.375 players. [Bondy via TBL]...
Phil Mickelson Ruined Mike Lupica's U.S. Open
Many in sports media have seen New York Daily News writer Mike Lupica's arrogant-little-sonuvabitch-side firsthand, but never has there been a Lupica story that encapsulates the tiny prick's hubris than the one Patrick Sauer witnessed during the U.S. Open....
The Greatest Upset In The History Of Sports (This Week)
The United States has just flabbergasted the world, ending Spain's 35-match unbeaten streak with a 2-nil shutout of the planet's No. 1 team. Put that in your vuvuzela and blow on it....