i Page 7954 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who Won The WWE-Denver Nuggets Cage Match?
World Wrestling Entertainment is moving next's Monday's "RAW" session from Denver's Pepsi Center to L.A.'s Staples Center, because of the conflict with Game 4 of the NBA Finals. But which petulant business owner really comes out as the victor here?...

White Sox Fans...Meet Your New Starting Pitcher
Pending approval, Padres' ace Jake Peavy will reportedly go to the White Sox for some little people aka "prospects." [SI.com]...

New Land Shark Stadium Upgrades Include Creepy Old Man Cam
There are plenty of new amenities for Parrotheads and Dolphinheads alike at Jimmy Buffet's Land Shark Stadium, but one of the most potentially troublesome is a device for the well-to-do horny fellas not interested in the game to eye-grope the cheerleaders....

That Wasn't Supposed To Happen Was It?
The Cavaliers had been sitting for eight days after sweeping the first two rounds, but that didn't seem to matter when they rolled out to a 15-point lead in the first half. Then the second half happened, and somehow when the final buzzer sounded LeBron and company were not ahead on the scoreboard. W...

This Is What Happens When You Annnounce A Woman's Age On Camera
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Holy Crap, David Ortiz Hit A Home Run
Light-hitting Boston infielder becomes the 320th major league player to hit a home run this season. It's okay to believe in America again, people. [Boston Herald]...

Mark Buehrle's Truck Will Cause Ice Caps To Melt
One alert emailer sent along this photo of the White Sox hurler gassing up his famously scary truck constructed by demonic gorilla robots from some dusty holocaust netherworld....

Wife Of Pitcher Scott Schoeneweis Found Dead
Gabrielle Dawn Schoeneweis, the wife of Arizona Diamondbacks reliever Scott Schoeneweis, was found unconscious in the family's home today and sheriff's deputies were unable to revive her when they arrived. No cause of death has been determined yet. She was 39. Terrible news. [Arizona Republic]...

Pirates Tour White House, For Some Reason; Skipper Pulls A Reverse Harrison
"Pirates' manager John Russell skipped the tour saying he'd rather visit when he has a World Series ring on his finger." [KDKA]...

Rudy Giuliani's Son Loses The Case Of "Duke vs. Spackler"
Andrew Giuliani used to play golf at Duke University until the coach that recruited him died, and the new coach realized that he was a terrible golfer. Andy sued after being booted from the team and the judge made him look stupid by quoting Caddyshack as he dismissed the case....

The Sordid Life Of Clippers Owner Donald Sterling
Just in time for the lottery, ESPN The Magazine has a look-see at the walking abomination known as Donald Sterling, Clippers owner and a man of discerning taste. Dislikes: blacks, Mexicans, children. Likes: Koreans, blowjobs....

Calling All Baseball Dorks! Bill James And Joe Posnanski, In Conversation!
They're talking about Randy Johnson, but does it really matter? I've written slash fiction about this very moment. [SI.com]...

Some Chick To Teach Other Broads About Man Things
The L.A. Dodgers will air a series of radio broadcasts aimed at women, particularly those who don't know much about baseball. Jeanne Zelasko will do play-by-play and talk real slow so that these dames can get the infield fly rule through their thick skulls....

Of Ron Zook, Twitter And Big Swinging Dicks
Ron Zook had a busy Wednesday afternoon. First, he went to the Chicago Mercantile exchange. Then, he channeled his inner Faulkner and finally, he tweeted about the entire experience....

Vince Young Do What Vince Young Do
Young, as you remember, is close to getting permanently doghoused by Jeff Fisher (if it hasn't happened already) and has worried teammates, family members, and NFL execs with his wacky manic-depressive behavior and disenchantment with football. (CUT TO Whitlock: Toldja!)...

Is The D-Train Back On Track?
Dontrelle Willis won a game yesterday. And his pitching was more than adequate! So has he finally got over his case of the Greinkes or is this just a momentary blip on the mine cart ride to oblivion?...

In Praise Of Dr. Z
In an otherwise touching account of Monday's benefit for the stricken Dr. Z, Peter King shares this depressing detail: "It's been almost six months since he's spoken, and he can't write, and he can't read."...

Hell No, We Don't Want Bobby V. To Go!
Rally the troops! Chiba Lotte fans are protesting to retain manager Bobby Valentine, hanging this banner: "We would rather fight with Bobby, who says we're the world's best fans, than with a front office who calls us worthless." For you non-Japanese speakers, that roughly translates to Backwards K. ...

Black Eyes, Skinned Knees, And A Pitiful Excuse For A Man
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....