i Page 8242 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Danes Like To Punch
If the Second War of Schleswig taught us anything, it's that the Danish lack problem-solving skills. Yesterday, during a Euro 2008 qualifier, a Danish player punched a Swedish player in the stomach, and was, of course, red-carded and sent off. Apparently feeling like it should be perfectly legal to ...
It's Enough To Make You Want To Hug Damon Jones
I don't know if it's enough to erase the pain of Jordan-over-Ehlo or Earnest Byner's fumble, but last night had to be the best Cleveland sports fans have felt since ... well, since the ping-pong balls bounced their way and they won the right to draft LeBron James....
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
1:00, NBC. Tennis. French Open. 1:00, CBS. Track and Field. Reebok Grand Prix. 1:00, ESPN. College Softball. 1:00, FOX. NASCAR. Nextel Cup. Autism Speaks 400. 2:00, TBS. MLB. Atlanta Braves @ Chicago Cubs. 2:30, CBS. PGA Golf. Memorial Tournament, Final Round. 3:30, ESPN. College Softball. 3:00, Fox...
About Last Night...
• NBA Playoffs. Cavs 98, Pistons 82. I don't think Rasheed Wallace is taking this well. • MLB. Padres 11, Nationals 3. Justin Germano refuses to lose. Ever. • NHL. Senators 5, Mighty Ducks 3. Candadian pride might yet be salvaged....
Encore?
The playoffs, as you often hear, are all about adjustments. If you're Flip Saunders, how do you adjust to LeBron James finally becoming the unstoppable force he was always supposed to be? I guess your best hope is to just hope he's exhausted from kicking your ass the last time out. The downside is t...
To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, NBC. Stanley Cup Finals. Anaheim Ducks @ Ottawa Senators. Or the All Children's Telethon, which should be good, too. • 8:00, ESPN2. Soccer. China vs. United States. If this game is so "friendly," why even keep score? • 8:30, TNT. NBA Playoffs. Detroit Pistons @ Cleveland Cavaliers. Craig Sag...
There Has To Be A Way To Combine A Hockey Game And A Telethon
Hockey continues to feel the sting of disrespect from their network television home. This time, the slap in the face isn't national, but limited to just the Tampa market. For now, anyway. We'll have to wait and see what happens if tonight's game goes into overtime....
Travel Tips From An ESPN Producer
• A freelance producer who did work for ESPN shouldn't have taken that lighter on the plane. Or the drugs. Or the child porn. [KUTV Video Library] • Bobby Martin, who played high school football despite his lack of legs, is aiming to make the Arena or Canadian Football league. [Gelf Magazine] • Migh...
Gary Sheffield Will Rip The Lid Off Of It
For "aggressive actions directed at umpire Greg Gibson," Detroit Tigers DH Gary Sheffield was suspended for three games. Sheff broke his bat, and then threw the handle down ... somewhere. He says he threw it towards the dugout, Major League Baseball says he threw it at the ump....
NASCAR Is Tolerant Of All Kinds Of Things
A fellow named Chip Williams, who used to do public relations work for NASCAR, was sentenced yesterday to 26 years in prison. He pled guilty to charges of using a computer to entice a child into sexual activity and coercing a minor into sexual activity for the purpose of making pornography....
All The Sudden, Mike D'Antonio Seems Stoic And Emotionless
I particularly enjoyed the meticulous job of covering home plate in dirt. Paula Dean doesn't take that much care when she's baking a cake. Nor does she crawl around on the grass afterwards, and throw a rosin bag as if it were a grenade. But, I guess that's why she'll never be asked to manage the Mis...
Alex Rodriguez Resists Temptation
If it's true that A-Rod likes the "she-male, muscular type," then it must have been quite a struggle to maintain focus last night. Decent effort, Fenway fans ... but it wouldn't hurt you to show a little more cleavage....
You Say 'Monster Pig,' I Say 'Fred'
I could be wrong about this, but I think hunters would be less likely to thoughtlessly pump bullets into animals if they knew they had names. For instance, that giant pig that the 11-year-old killed? Would it have been so easy to pull the trigger (9 times) if the enormous animal had been wearing a n...
Carlos Zambrano Needs A Time Out
When you're 8 games below .500, the least you could do is try to be lovable. But the Cubs, 7.5 games out in the pathetic NL Central, can't even manage that....
For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
12:00, NFL Network. NFL Europa. Frankfurt Galaxy @ Berlin Thunder. 12:00, USA. The Starter Wife. 12:00, ESPN. College Softball. DePaul vs. Arizona State. 1:00, NBC. Tennis. French Open. Men's and Women's Third Rounds. 2:00, ESPN. College Softball. Texas A&M vs. Baylor. 2:30, Fox Soccer. Euro 2008 Qu...
About Last Night...
• MLB. Yankees 9, Red Sox 5. Good news: Game 1 of the series, and we've already had 5 beanballs and 2 ejections. • Arena Football. Desperados 59, Soul 56. Desperado has finally come to his senses, it appears. • WNBA. Liberty 70, Lynx 60. Minnesota's 0-6, and I'm sure you know this, but that's the th...
A-Rod Is Dead, Dawg
• Jose Canseco and his fake reality show] • Cheese wheel. • Nothing offensive about this, nope. • This lady? Never heard of her. Until now! • Ichiro is wacky. • Every party should have Mr. Met. • LeBron might be all kinds of amazing. • Here come the otters! HERE COME THE OTTERS! • Isiah Thomas, a bu...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch to top off another glorious Free Donut Day ... • Boxing: Junior middleweights, James Kirkland vs. Ossie Duran; junior welterweights, Timothy Bradley vs. Donald Camarena, at Santa Ynez, Calif. Oh, you wanted "abuse." It's "being-hit-on-the-head" lessons in here. [Showtime] • College sof...
Evander Holyfield Has Much Advice For Sage Rosenfels
"OK, now everybody listen up. The key to being a successful Houston Texan is to ... wait ... is HGH legal in football? No? Oh, well, don't worry: Take it anyway, you'll sit out four games, no one will care, it's the NFL. Anyway, what was I saying? Dancing. Yes. Dancing is ... you gotta ..."...
Mike And Mike Weren't So Bad, Actually
• Your complete Spelling Bee roundup. [Daily Sports Haiku] • About the other guy in the Armando Benitez trade. [Say Hey] • Do not steal the parking boot. [Loser With Socks] • Sidney Crosby, Penguins captain. [PopJocks] • Roy Jones Jr. likes his cocks to fight. [Steroid Nation]...