i Page 8533 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wake up! They're Underway at Wembley
The sun is already rising on a new season in the Barclay's Premier League. The annual Community Shield match is underway at Wembley stadium pitting Machester United against Chelsea, the champions of last year's league title and FA Cup respectively. While the result of today's match won't be reflecte...
Bonds Makes Everyone Smile
Forgive us for butting in on the weekend, but Barry Bonds just homered to tie Hank Aaron. So: Isn't that great? What a moment to bond us all. Update: You can see the video over at Awful Announcing....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trying to tune out that Redskins fan bitching about Art Monk... • NFL: Pro Football Hall of Fame Inductions. That means it's just one more day until the first pre-season game. Try to remain calm.[NFL Network] • Boxing: Erik Morales vs. David Diaz for Diaz's lightweight title. El ...
I Like My Rich Garces With a Sprinkling of Powdered Sugar
Rich "El Gordo Guapo" Garces has been busying himself with minor league ball in Nashua (not Nassau) and now he's setting his sights on the majors. The relief pitcher of indeterminable weight will always be fondly remembered as a hero to all the fat guys in Boston, but could he actually return? Desp...
• As usual the Wizznutzz have spent the bulk of the summer in the Mothering Hut and their output has been truly inspired. It's the kind of inspiration you can only get from eating week-old Sabrett's hot dogs with Chico DeBarge and Rod Strickland's pet lemur. Plus the lemur bit Jaarko (who responded ...
The Announcer Doth Protest Too Much, Methinks
via Awful Announcing...
Best.Draft.Ever.
I know that nobody likes hearing about other people's fantasy football lives— but this could be an exception. The intrepid Andy Behrens of Yahoo! Fantasy! gathered up a group of 12 sports bloggers to form the Tank Johnson Desert Classic. The league is a highly volatile experiment that Behrens will c...
They Tried to Take His Greenies But He Said 'No, No, No'
• One blogger's open letter to Michael Strahan [Strike Zones and End Zones] • Neifi Perez needs rehab worse than Amy Winehouse [FanHouse] • A touching tribute to Skip Prosser with the subtle climax we've come to expect [Nation Of Islam Sports] • Jay Mohr needs to step up his game if he's going to st...
Jean Strahan Is Gettin Paid
If Michael Strahan wants to lose the gap-toothed look he should probably go to the dentist now while he's still insured. Dan Wetzel of Yahoo! Sports(!) has shed some light on the financial terms of the Strahan's highly publicized divorce....
Does This Mean No More Live Look-Ins?
The nation's long wait has finally come to an end, A-Rod hit 500! Alright, it's not exactly 756 but at least it's one less thing we'll have to hear about every single day. He got things out of the way in a hurry this afternoon with a first inning blast off of Kyle Davies. Call me crazy, but I think ...
The Sun Goes Down On Elton
Being stuck in Clipper purgatory is painful, but that's got nothin' on a ruptured Achilles' tendon. Elton Brand suffered the devastating injury during his off-season workout at the Sports Club South Bay. Once the league's most underrated star undergoes surgery he'll face several months of recovery a...
Bear Down, Lorena! Bear Down, Rory!
• 12:00 — NASCAR: Busch Series Qualifying! [ESPN2] • 1:00 — PGA: WGC Bridgestone Invitational [CBS] • 1:00 — LPGA: Ricoh Women's British Open Third Round from St. Andrews [ABC] • 2:00 — Movie: The Ladies Man [Comedy Central] • 3:00 — Football: NFL Quarterback Challenge [ESPN] • 3:00 — Movie: Remembe...
This Place Is Restricted, Wang
Who needs an A-Rod long-ball when you've got a Wang that just won't quit? Sir Alex failed to hit his 500th homer (again) but Robinson Cano picked up his slack (again!) as the Yankees dominated the Royals 7-1. Chien-Ming Wang allowed just 8 men to reach base in seven innings of work while Odalis Per...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while cleaning up your dishes • Boxing: Jean Pascal's ridiculous hair-art proves too much for Kingsley Ikeke in a unanimous decision. • Extreme Sports: Something totally fucking crazy probably happened at the X Games last night, I just don't care. • MLB: The Cubs can't deal with all ...
This Headline Will Not Include Barry Bonds
• Way to go, Iraq! Oh, sorry. • Pujols, Pop-A-Shot. • Gilbert is funny when he takes other people's jokes. • Quiet, Deion. • The live report from the Arena Bowl. • Pete Rose is charming. • Ow ow ow. • Pac Man Jones, rasslin'. • We're map happy! • Goodnight, ESPN. • Matt Leinart is optimistic about t...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you cook a gigantic pot of beans, per Rachael Ray's perky instructions ... • MLB: Colorado at Atlanta. The catcher's mask protects my face, but does nothing to hide the longing and regret. [TBS] • Extreme sports: X Games, at Los Angeles. You weren't quite extreme enough on that last...