i Page 8597 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night...
• Golden State 109, Dallas 91. The more Stephen Jackson appears on all of our televisions, the better off we'll all be. • Chicago 104, Miami 96. Can anyone guess where Shaquille O'Neal says his back is? That's right, it's against the wall. • MLB: Dodgers 6, Padres 5. On "Trevor Hoffman" night, there...

Painting The Inside Corner
• We don't trust anything that bleeds for eight innings and doesn't die. • Michael Jordan, enjoying himself. • Michael Vick loves all of God's creatures. Well, the ones that win, anyway. • Goodbye, David Halberstam. • Does LAT health insurance cover this? • Seriously, kid, walk it off. • Alex Rodrig...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after ridding Santa Carla of vampires ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Mike (Assault Charges Dropped) Anchondo vs. Darling (Would A Nickname Help At This Point?) Jimenez, at Miami. [ESPN2] • MLB: Chicago Cubs at St. Louis [WGN]; Atlanta at Colorado. Look, video of Michael Keaton singing at ...

Time For 12 Hours Of Names Being Read Aloud!
We will never forget last year's NFL Draft, when poor Matt Leinart suddenly realized he'd been drafted by The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. We look forward to a similar reaction from Wisconsin offensive lineman Joe Thomas tomorrow, who might just jump off his fishing boat and try to drown h...

ESPN's Dumb Mock Draft Flub
• It is important that ESPN not forget Mr. Okoye. [Card Chronicle] • Torii Hunter, looking good! [Yahoo Photos] • The Bulls really just might be a ton better than the Heat. [Ronk Karkovice Fan Club] • What's going on in the Yankees clubhouse right now. [Diamond Hoggers] • There's a kicker named "Din...

PETA Not Particularly Big Fans Of Our Man Vick
Some more blowback from the Ron Mexico dogfighting story from yesterday: PETA is calling for him to be released from the team if the allegations are proven true....

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Communism Was Merely A Red Herring
Monkey brains, although popular in Cantonese cuisine, is not often to be found in Washington D.C....

Minor Enterprise: Hey, Kids! It's Blowie!
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...

Blogdome: If Kiper Ruled All
• If everyone listened to Mel Kiper, here's what every team would look like. [Smittblog] • Mike Sweeney does the whole "hit a homer for a sick kid" thing. [In Dayton We Trust] • Seventeen regular season NFL games? We'd be OK with that. [Signal To Noise] • Who should be the REAL home run hero? [140.8...

That'll Do, Ivica Supe. That'll Do.
You know, it's getting toward the end of the month, and we're a bit miffed that our quarterly farm animal bonus has not been delivered. Oh wait, yeah ... we have direct deposit now. We forgot....

Misguided Sports Sartorial Decisions
Just Call Me Juice is doing a clever series in which they ask readers to tell the stories of their most embarrassing, rueful jersey purchases. Unsilent Majority keeps the series going with his gruesome tale of buying a Steve Spurrier Redskins jersey (with the number he wore as a player), though we d...

Michael Jordan Ready To Bag Champaign Coeds
Beware, Alpha Phis gallivanting around at Kam's or C.O.'s: Michael Jordan's gonna hit your campus soon, and he doesn't care for your "no cigar smoking inside" rules....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Fantasy league injuries: Do Griffey's recent problems count? Ow, my anus! • 11 a.m. Olympian J. Joyner-Kersee: Which make better weapons while riding the St. Louis Metrolink; gold or silver medals? • 2 p.m. NASCAR with David Ne...

This Is Why We Should Arm All Umpires .. And Mascots
You know what would make baseball even more popular? Regularly scheduled gunfights! In East Texas, a rec league game turned into a hail of buckshot....

The NBA Is So Damned Cool Sometimes
You know what the NBA Finals needs more of? Douchebags!...

Lakers Make It Just Interesting Enough To Ultimately Disappoint
In a way, we kind of agree with what Free Darko wrote in their playoff preview for us: This could end up being the one playoff series in which, if the Lakers lose, Kobe Bryant might get a pass. But he's not gonna be able to pull it off if the Lakers, you know, actually make it close. A four-game swe...

The Daily Closer: Oh Sammy, You Crazy Nut
Notes from a day in baseball:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while fishing with Tony Soprano ... • NBA: Well, he was 30 short of 75 points, but Kobe, Lakers make it a series vs. Suns • MLB: Phil of the Future rocked in Yankees' debut, Blue Jays prevail 6-0. • NHL: The Great White Hope ... Sharks clamp down on Red Wings, 2-0....

On Sunday, It's Horse Christmas!
Friends, we are only three days away from a historic day: The big fourth birthday party for Barbaro. Nevermind that Barbaro is as aware of his birthday party right now as he would have been had he been alive; it's time to lament the passing of a non-sentient legend....