ill Page 715 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"We Know This Is Off The Subject A Bit, But How Much Do You Think We Could Bench?"
We don't know if Bills fan Nate Neubauer of Lancaster, N.Y., has seen the brilliant Best In Show, but we certainly hope so....

Last Call For Athlete Run-In Stories
We'll be picking our winners in our athlete run-in stories contest, where the best athlete run-in stories win a free copy of The Education Of A Coach, the new David Halberstam about Patriots coach Bill Belichick....

Oskee-Wow-Wow
We are honored — since we've mentioned it only sparingly, though expect that to change as college hoops gets going — that so many of you have noted that we are proud graduates of the University of Illinois and have asked our opinion of the NCAA ruling that the Chief Illiniwek nickname and "symbol"...

Saying A Sad Goodbye To Mock Press Conferences
Well, tonight's the final night for those brilliant and universally lauded Steve Phillips mock press conferences on ESPN, and we think it's important that the lunacy of the feature not be forgotten by time. Phillips — whom we don't mean to destroy here; he comes across sympathetic and intelligent...

Mark Cuban Could Kick Any Writer's Ass
Well, Deadspin readers have spoken, and after about 20 hours of voting, it wasn't particularly close: You say Mark Cuban would kick Bill Simmons' ass....

Your Token "Sweep The Leg, Johnny" Reference
One of our favorite Doug Flutie stories was when then-Dolphins coach Jimmy Johnson, trying to motivate his team for an upcoming game against the Bills, destroyed a box of Flutie Flakes in front of his team. When Flutie heard about the incident, his face fell. "That cereal is to benefit autism rese...

Vote: Simmons Vs. Cuban. Who Wins?
If you haven't seen it yet, we highly recommend you check out Our Boy Bill Simmons' newest "Curious Guy" entry, which is a discussion with none other than ... Mark Cuban! Yes! We're living in a happy place right now, friends....

More Mock Press Conference Shenanigans
An alert reader clues us into some ESPN tech snafus last Sunday, the first day of the mock Steve Phillips press conference things....

Leftovers: No Mas
• Injury forces WBC champ Klitschko to retire, HBO to air 4 extra hours of "Six Feet Under." [Flying Ass Monkey] Bill Simmons profiled in the Baltimore Sun. Good: All kinds of hints that he'll leave ESPN someday. Bad: The author keeps calling him a "blogger." Ugly: Compared to both Hunter S. Thompso...

Tell Us Your Best Athlete Run-Ins, And Win A Book!
Hey, look, it's the first-ever Deadspin contest. The fine folks at Hyperion Books just shipped a big stack of copies of David Halberstam's new book The Education Of A Coach to Deadspin World Headquarters, and we're here to give them away. We've read the book and think it's really good, actually, eve...

OK, Seriously, Knock It Off You Guys
All right, we know we've mentioned this already, but we're still kind of obsessed with this daily SportsCenter feature of Steve Phillips "playing" the role of every team's GM. At first, we thought this was just going to be a Boston thing, playing with the Theo Epstein press conference last week. ...

Internal Shakeups At ESPN's Original Entertainment
We hear serious rumblings of some big changes in ESPN's Original Entertainment. We hear that current executive producer Mike Antinoro is leaving the network for destinations yet unannounced (off to play with Bugs Bunny and Dan Snyder with his old buddy Mark Shapiro?), and that Executive Vice Presi...

With Enough Weed, What's The Difference?
From the NFL Wives Yahoo Group, in response to the query (not from us, we swear) "Ladies please name any and every athlete whether NFL, NBA or NCAA that is Bi Sexual or just plain GAY!!!."...

Sure, Yeah, Critics, ESPN's Totally Listening
Maybe it's that ridiculous Steve Phillips mock press conference thing that "SportsCenter" is doing right now, but for whatever reason, there's all kinds of anti-ESPN invective out there today....

Ugie's "Friday The 13th" Moment
We have to say, as far as free agents jockeying for leverage go, we're getting some excellent case studies in how not to handle one's self. Matt Lawton proved the "getting tested positive for steroids" theory of bargaining doesn't work, and now Ugueth Urbina is mastering the "being arrested for at...

The Sad Faces Of Buster Olney And Jeremy Schaap
For anyone who wondered just what sacrifices that legitimate journalists like Jeremy Schaap and Buster Olney have to suckle from ESPN's cash teat, look no further than this morning's "SportsCenter." In it, baseball analyst Steve Phillips answers mock questions in a mock press conference, pretendi...

Bill Simmons' Epic Battle With Star Jones
Here's something that will make your day: Our Boy Bill Simmons is playing in an NBA.com "celebrity" fantasy basketball league that includes such luminaries as Pamela Anderson, Cedric the Entertainer, Michael Rapaport and, yes yes yes, Star Jones herself....

What Marcellus Wiley Has In Different Area Codes
We could play with the NFL Wives Yahoo Group all day, honestly. It's basically just women emailing the group about certain players they find attractive, to find out whether they're available, whether they sleep around, so on. (Clinton Portis is a fave of the site.)...

More "Colbert Report" Than "After M*A*S*H*"
It is with much glee that we point out that the mad scientists at Yard Work — the brilliant satirical site featuring mock columns from ESPN luminaries, along with Rickey Henderson, Ozzie Guillen and countless others — have launched their first spinoff site: the affectionately named Hard Wood, whic...

Another Way Of Alleviating Baseball's Aches And Pains
Excellent pick up by The Sports Frog: A "massage parlor" in Princeton, N.J., has been accused of doing more massaging on the lower ventral areas of its clients' bodies than on the upper dorsal. The Newark Star-Ledger — your source for all breaking illicit massage parlor news — says the woman who r...