ill Page 729 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bill Simmons Nails Boston Smugness Cold
The first sentence of Our Boy Bill Simmons' column this week is a perfect illustration of why everyone in the sports world wants to strangle everyone from Boston:...
Yard Work Upgrades, Eviscerates Peter King
Congrats to the wacky folks at Yard Work, who have revamped their site with a shiny new URL and an archive that could judiciously be called "improved." They blast off the new site with a pretty biting satire of Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback column, which begins with a pretty fantastic im...
Mistakes At Si.com
Interesting note on SI.com right now. On Michael Silver's column is the following rejoiner:...
Schilling's Late Night At The ESPYs
There are all kinds of reasons to not get enough rest before a baseball game in which you are required to perform. Maybe you had a crying baby who woke up at inconvenient hours. Perhaps you're jetlagged from an overnighter to Colombia. It's possible that you just, lo, spent a little too much time ...
Simmons Impersonators Getting Downright Creepy
The folks at Yard Work are getting so good at impersonating ESPN columnists that, honestly, you just can't tell the difference anymore....
The Bill Simmons Backlash Continues
We thought we were the only ones making fun of ESPN bad boy Bill Simmons, but apparently not: The Sports Frog weighs in with a devastating missive at Big Bill's column about Clippers forward Bobby Simmons that ran yesterday....
Bill Simmons Translator: Bill Swoons, Fawns
Whoa! A bonus Bill Simmons column, from the magazine this time. It's all Bill, all the time over here today; we're like The Sports Gal today, except we don't have to go to sleep wondering if we're gonna have to wake up in the middle of the night to take care of one of Bill's nosebleeds. It's Bill ...
More Cartoon Hilarity From Bill Simmons
Sometimes we wonder if our boy Bill writes the scripts for these things on a cocktail napkin while watching mid-'70s Celtics highlights on a treadmill. Here's this week's cartoon fun:...
Bill Simmons Picks His Own Greatest Hits
With tonight's NBA Draft just about five hours away, our main man Bill Simmons clocks in with the50 greatest moments in NBA Draft history. Of course, that's not really what it is; what it really is is a collection of Bill's favorite one-liners from all his draft diaries. One imagines Bill staying...
The Bizarro Bill Simmons
From the great Yard Work satirical blog, here's an imaginary (but just barely) selection from Bill Simmons' mailbag:...
Bill Simmons Translator: We Were Little, Swarthy People. No, Really
ESPN Page 2 columnist/national movement Bill Simmons has filed an unusually brief missive about last night's Game 7. You know what that means: It's time for The Bill Simmons Translator!...
Bill Simmons Translator: He Loved "The The!"
Now that ESPN Serious Journalist Bill Simmons has gotten pretty much every single prediction of the NBA Finals completely wrong, we thought we'd check in with him after last night's Game 6 with ... yes ... The Bill Simmons Translator!...
Ricky Williams Slinks Back Into Town
We still can't quite believe running stoner Ricky Williams is really going to play this year. This guy quit football to smoke pot — and hey, we're not gonna mock him for that; the only difference between him and a lot of our friends is that he actually had a job to quit — and left all his teammate...
Bobby Abreu's Otherworldly Restraint
All right, now, we pay pretty close attention to this sports business. (We do it for a living, after all.) But we'll fess up: We had heard nothing about this Bobby Abreu story from last month. Maybe it's because we don't watch Spanish language TV. But still....
Another Bill Simmons Cartoon: Cell Phone
Yay! This Week's "Episode:" "Cell Phone"...
If There Were Anyone To Fire, Someone Would Totally Be Fired
In this week's Sports Illustrated, Michael Silver writes a long-winded piece about the resurgence of women's softball, not just on a collegiate level, but also in the pro realm. He warbles extensively about Jennie Finch's role on the Chicago Bandits, a professional team that played its first game ye...
Yes. He'd Be Just Like Donnie Brasco
"Shaq's interest in police work is very real," says Miami Beach Police Chief Don De Lucca. "I've always said law enforcement is a calling, and I believe Shaquille has been called. He'd be a great undercover guy."...
Tampa Does What It Can To Please Bill Simmons
In a surprise announcement yesterday, the city of Tampa was awarded the Super Bowl in 2009. In a nod to the constant, insufferable bitching by everybody's favorite Interweb columnist, SportsFrog.com points out a key factor in the decision:...
Sports Illustrated Keeps Finger On The Web Pulse
Featured Web site in Sports Illustrated's "SI Players" section this week: ManuGinobili.com....
Bill Simmons Changes Format For 5,234th Time
You know what we admire about Bill Simmons? His rock-solid consistency. Once again, Bill is explaining to us again why his site updates with the regularity of a malfunctioning strobe light. Supposedly — and this was a little confusing — Bill's going to post short items on More Cowbell (exactly th...