Bill Simmons Translator: Bill Swoons, Fawns

Whoa! A bonus Bill Simmons column, from the magazine this time. It's all Bill, all the time over here today; we're like The Sports Gal today, except we don't have to go to sleep wondering if we're gonna have to wake up in the middle of the night to take care of one of Bill's nosebleeds. It's Bill Simmons Translator time!

One Most Improved Player award later, we were sitting at the Cheesecake Factory in West Hollywood.

Translation: Yep. When I dine with NBA players, I take them to the Cheesecake Factory.

"You sure you want to leave this?" I asked, waving a hand at the blue sky and the gorgeous women. "You could be freezing your butt off in Cleveland or Milwaukee next year."

Translation: Guys! I'm TOTALLY TALKING TO AN NBA PLAYER! About women!

Show Simmons The Money [Sports Guy's World]