in Page 4039 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Marvin Lewis Is Beginning To Suspect That Something Is Amiss
This is an intervention. Marvin Lewis, your team is out of control. One out of every eight Bengals players is involved in the U.S. judicial system; either in jail, on parole or awaiting trial. We'd really like you to read these pamphlets. There are people who can help....
Reeeeeeeeematchhh!!!!!
It was inevitable, it was preordained, it was destined and placed here only to make us happy and the world a better place: Looks like Miami and Florida International, who have a bit of history, are set to butt heads, crutches and Hell 2 Da Naw once again, next year. It's October 6. It's the Orange...
Sick Is A Nice Way Of Saying What We Are
As we continue to try to foster our uneasy peace with the kids at the Barbaro Message Board, we, as a public service, bring you today's great Angry Barbaro Message Boarder Email Of The Day....
David Eckstein Is One Scrappy, Gutty Wrestler
We don't cover much professional wrestling around here, because, as athletic an enterprise as it might be, it's not really, you know, sports. But — shockingly! — tons of professional athletes love wrestling; we think it's the tights....
Big Ben Keeps Teaching The Kids
It was only a matter of time: Ben Roethlisberger's motorcycle mishaps are inspiring minor league promotions....
'I Regret Nothinnnnnggggggg!'
On the list of things we would never attempt, right after "Barbaro message board moderator" and right before "poking Larry Allen with a sharp stick" comes this. It's base jumping, of course, but these batshit insane daring thrill-seekers have added a couple of twists over the past two years. No. 1 i...
Year In Review: March
We're reviewing each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We call it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature something for the last year that we might overlook, email us at [email protected] with s...
Smash Your Trash With Razor Ruddock
How frustrating it must be, for retired boxers everywhere, to see George Foreman having so much success in his post-boxing career. Most of these guys are screwed over in every possible way while they're fighting, and then when they retire, they have no money saved up and no marketable skills other t...
There Are No Duke Basketball Tickets Here! Now Go Away!
The politics of exclusion permeates many cities, and the sleepy hamlet of Krzyzewskiville is no exception. You've heard of Krzyzewskiville; the campus tent city set up by Duke students each winter to wait in line for basketball tickets to Cameron Indoor Stadium. But this season, residents have gon...
A Night For Loud Bears Fans And Silent Rams Ones
We spent a year and a half of our lives in St. Louis and went to two NFL games. The first was in 1998, when Tony Banks was the quarterback. You can imagine what happened then. The second time was in 1999, when Kurt Warner threw five touchdown passes on our 24th birthday to smash the then-vexing San ...
Prince Brings His Unique Style Of Pants To The Super Bowl
As anyone who watched the NFL on CBS yesterday now knows from the above commercial, your Super Bowl halftime show performer is Prince. We don’t understand this commercial in the slightest — because Prince, of course, has never once made an artistic decision based on advertisers or corporate interest...
Carson Palmer Throws Better Than He Listens
What do you get the multimillionaire quarterback who has everything? That's the question The Dayton Daily News asked Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer, and his answer is a reminder why we are not friends with athletes. Here's what Palmer said he wanted for the holidays (emphasis ours):...
Always Beware When There Are Bears
The concept was a pleasant, make-the-world-a-better-place one; after the first goal scored by the Minnesota-Duluth hockey team, fans were to throw teddy bears on the ice. The bears would then be collected and given to needy children (in lieu of food, apparently). But then it all went wrong....
Year In Review: February
We're reviewing each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We call it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature something for the last year that we might overlook, email us at [email protected] with s...
One Cycling Probe The French Won't Touch
If you've got some time, the Journal of Sexual Medicine needs your help. They need a term for the female version of "cycling penis," a condition which occurs when a cyclist spends too much time on a bicycle seat. We bring this to you via Dave Barry's blog, although Dave failed to note several key pa...
NFL Roundup: What The Hell Got Into The Saints?
News And Notes From Week 14 In The NFL ......
Sunday Night Football: Exploring The Parcells/Payton Relationship
Congratulations to NBC for managing to find two worthwhile teams in the NFC... they might be the only two. The 8-4 Saints travel to Dallas to take on the 8-4 Cowboys tonight, and there are storylines aplenty....
News About The Bengals That Doesn't Involve Handcuffs
Yesterday started with some bad (though, really, kind of standard) Bengals news, so let's drop in some good Bengals news today. David Pollack, the rookie linebacker who fractured a vertebra during a September game for the Bengals, had his stabilizing halo removed this week....
West Virginia Is More Tolerant Than You Think
Not only do the West Virginia Mountaineers have a male baton twirler, they have a bad-ass male baton twirler. Meet Donovan Sarr, introduced to us by this WVU press release touting their evidently awesome baton twirling squad....
Nine Ladies Dancing, Eight Bengals Shackled, Seven Swans-A-Swimming...
Desperate to up the total with the new year looming, Bengals cornerback Deltha O'Neal has become the 8th Cincinnati Bengal to be arrested this calendar year. That has to be an NFL record... and now they're just being greedy and trying to put it completely out of reach for anyone else. There are only...