in Page 4039 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Of Ping Pong Balls And Dogfights
• A-Rod likes his balls. • Carl Monday remains unstoppable. • Clinton Portis likes it when dogs fight. • Dan Shanoff live blogged the draft lottery, and it was not a happy night for Celtics fans. • AJ Hawk will be more careful about wedding photographers in the future. • NBC switches from playoff ov...
Remembering Back When This Race Mattered
Allow us to be the next in the long line of people lamenting the sorry state of the Indianapolis 500. The race has always been the only automobile-related event — save for any demolition derby — we've ever cared much about, and not just because it took place an hour-and-a-half from our house....
Probably Just Best To Stay In The Tunnel, Ma'am
What happens when a Canadian attempts to sing the U.S. National Anthem? Nothing short of comedy gold, that's what. We don't know exactly how old this is, or what game it's from, but we've seen enough boring renditions of our country's cherished song to wish that they'd do it this way every time. Any...
If Donnie Calls, Tell Him If It Was Gonna Be Anyone, We're Glad It Was Him
Forget about it is like, if you agree with someone, you know, like Raquel Welch is one great piece of ass, forget about it. But then, if you disagree, like A Lincoln is better than a Cadillac? Forget about it! You know? But then, it's also like if something's the greatest thing in the world, like mi...
We Know Where Lassie Will Be This Weekend
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly present you with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fig ... Never Mind, You Missed It
Notes on a day in baseball ......
Perhaps This Was What Drugged George Foreman
So, in Cincinnati, this dad and his son decided to move their punching bag, and, on a whim, figured they'd find out, you know, what's actually in a punching bag....
The End Of An Online Sports Legend
Back before we started this site, when we were just thinking about it, we scoured the Internets to see which sports sites, we thought, were doing it right, sites we'd want to pattern ourselves after. One of the first ones we loved was Batgirl, author Anne Ursu's playful, cute and hilarious ode to al...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while, as an old R.E.M. fan, getting obsessed with this site ... • MLB: Oliver! Perez denies Braves extra gruel yet again, leading Mets to 3-0 win. • NFL: Keyshawn Johnson retires to work on ESPN catchphrases. • MLB: It's Magglio Ordonez time! Tigers snap Angels' six-game win streak....
Shane Victorino And His Skirt Can Be On Your Dashboard
Pity poor Shane Victorino. The Phillies outfielder/journeyman is being honored with his own figurine at a Phillies game on June 3, which has to be a thrill for any major league baseball player. (It was certainly a thrill for Mr. Celery!) Why Shane Victorino? Well, he's Hawaiian, and that makes him u...
Hello, SPORTS FAN, Allow Us To Tell You About LOCAL SPORTS FRANCHISE
We understand that the WNBA is doing everything in its power to increase its fanbase or, more accurately, survive. One of the keys to this: Making sure "mainstream" media outlets cover the team in their pages. But team public relations people can only do so much. Enter form letters fans can send to ...
Andrew Walter Will Hear Your Confession Now
We're a bit late on this, but alas:...
Elijah Dukes Is Not Subtle About Voice Mail
Tampa Bay Devil Rays outfielder Elijah Dukes is off to a splendid start this year, and just watching him play, you can tell he has superstar potential. Hell ... he could very well be the next Brett Myers!...
Yet Another Great Reason To Live In Portland
Before we talk about the disappointment of all the teams who didn't win the first or second pick in last night's NBA Draft Lottery, let's look at the team that did win, the Portland Trail Blazers. (The official favorite team of Henry Abbott at True Hoop, who was at the lottery last night and, amusin...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hiding from the flying robot police ... • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta. The most humid rivalry in sports. [TBS] • NBA: Draft lottery, at Secaucus, N.J.; Western Conference finals, Utah at San Antonio, Game 2. You know which one you care about watching more. [ESPN] • NHL: Western...
How To Make Love To That Team's Biggest Fan
In one of those perfect ideas that make the Internets such a blessing on our daily lives, Every Day Should Be Saturday and Ladies ... have come up a guide to seducing a particular team's fan. Want to know how to bed that Cardinals fan? What do you say to a Knicks fan to sneak 'em in the sack? How do...
A-Rod Digs Deep Within
We were at the Yankees-Red Sox game last night, and noticed something that, finally, someone has clearly pointed out: Alex Rodriguez fiddles with his cup more than anyone else in baseball....
You Dissed Kenny! You Bastards!
The "political" blog Newsbusters has been watching SportsCenter lately, and the folks there are calling shenanigans on tanned, nimble-footed ESPN personality Kenny Mayne. The site puts it thusly:...
Oh, Yeah, He Just Remembered
Every time someone has something new to sell, particularly a book, they need to come up with some sort of revelation, a hook, something no one has ever heard before. (For ours, we're going to confess that we're actually bald.) And sometimes they might need to make it up. We're just saying....