Nine Ladies Dancing, Eight Bengals Shackled, Seven Swans-A-Swimming...

Desperate to up the total with the new year looming, Bengals cornerback Deltha O'Neal has become the 8th Cincinnati Bengal to be arrested this calendar year. That has to be an NFL record... and now they're just being greedy and trying to put it completely out of reach for anyone else. There are only 22 days left in the year for the Bengals to try to get to an even 10.

The good news for O'Neal is that he'll have no shortage of teammates on whom to rely for legal advice. Pages one through seven of Chris Henry's playbook are pasted with the business cards of attorneys and bail bondsmen.

O'Neal's infraction is a relatively minor DWI. He blew a 0.10, just a wee bit over the legal limit of 0.08 in Ohio. He did manage to get out of there before he punched, shot, spit on, puked on, or flipped off any police officers or innocent bystanders before he was released, which qualifies him as a "character guy" in the Bengals locker room. His status for this weekend's game will likely remain unchanged.

It's important for a team to have good locker room chemistry, and a lot of coaches will go about that by trying to assemble a team of guys who don't get into a lot of off-the-field trouble. But at this point, it might be easier for Marvin Lewis to go the other way, and assemble a complete 53-man roster of rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.

Bengals' O'Neal arrested [Cincinnati.Com]