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![MLS Couldn't Dig Itself Out Of The Snow Or Its Own Ass [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/184p6ngy5rminjpg.jpg)
MLS Couldn't Dig Itself Out Of The Snow Or Its Own Ass [UPDATE]
The weather had already shafted DC United. The higher seed, they lost homefield advantage when MLS switched the legs of their home-and-home with the Red Bulls because the New York area was still cleaning up after Hurricane Sandy. It wasn't fair, and United fans were pissed, but it's hard to see that...
Why Don't The 49ers Use Their Rookies?
There's something weird going on with the San Francisco 49ers: They don't use their rookies at all....
Ask Joe Buck Whatever Your Despicable Heart Desires
We have Fox broadcaster and occasional Deadspin contributor Joe Buck in the discussion below. He'll be taking your questions for however long he can stand it. Fire away, Deadspinners. ...
The Poor Detroit Pistons Are Currently The Most Depressing Team In The NBA
The video above is what it looks like when the 0-5 Detroit Pistons attempt to play defense. Yep, that's JaVale McGee taking the ball from the three-point line to the rim for an uncontested dunk. The Pistons somehow managed to out-JaVale JaVale....
Jeremy Roenick Wants To Make Sure Everything's Legal When He Beats Up This Twitter Troll For Charity
Last week, friend of the site Jeremy Roenick sent out an interesting tweet:...
Auburn Has A Private Security Firm Enforcing Players' Nightly Curfews
College football players are men. They're at least 18, so they can vote, they can serve in the armed forces, they can smoke, and they can roam the streets of America until all hours, doing whatever it is college kids do, so long as they don't do anything illegal. But not at Auburn, where the program...
Rajon Rondo Taught Math To Some High-School Kids Like Only He Could
On Tuesday, Rajon Rondo stopped by Jeremiah E. Burke High School in Dorchester, Mass., to tour the school, meet some of the students, and teach a little math. The picture above was tweeted by Rondo that morning, and Boston Magazine has more on the story behind it:...
Mike Keenan, The NHL's Last Great Asshole Coach
Playing for coach Mike Keenan in Chicago was like camping on the side of an active volcano. You had to accept the reality that he erupted regularly and that there was always a danger of being caught in his lava flow. He was a tyrant, a schoolyard bully, an oldschool coach who tried to motivate playe...
Aaron Rodgers Feels He Got Screwed By <i>60 Minutes</i>
Aaron Rodgers is not short. But he used to be short (for a quarterback), and it still rankles him immensely, and just about the worst thing you can say to him is that he looks smaller in person. 60 Minutes's Sunday profile of Rodgers caught him at a fan meet-and-greet, and when one unlucky contest...
Field Hockey America Vs. Rodeo America: Mapping The Faultlines Of America's Regional Sports
America is a beautiful, horrifying, crazy-ass mishmash of distinct geographic regions, as we know from watching John King's index finger on election night. This extends to all aspects of American life, of which the most important is obviously sports. Beyond the televised pro leagues (and their colle...
Jalen Rose: TV's Last Honest Man
Jalen Rose on SportsCenter just now:...
Kevin Garnett Gave A Weird, Profane Postgame Screed On Team Chemistry And Comcast
The Celtics eked out a six-point win in OT over the Wizards, but the close call unleashed something deep inside Kevin Garnett, something about how a team plays and whatever tenuous comparison that may hold to how a cable company operates and the very nature of advertisements, DVRs, and ... ah, we'...
Jeff Kent Departs <em>Survivor</em> With One Final Rant: "I'm A Game 7 World Series Loser"
The last time we checked in with budding reality TV star Jeff Kent, he was kicking off his appearance on this season of Survivor in a truly inauspicious manner. Since then, he's managed to keep his head in the game. Tonight, though, the dream suddenly died for Kent, who was voted off the island in...
Christian Ponder Says To Lay Off His ESPN Girlfriend, She's Not The Reason He's Struggling
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Leave Samantha Steele out of it....
James Bond, The Dark Knight. <em>Skyfall</em>, Reviewed.
When Casino Royale came out in 2006, it was rightly praised for lots of reasons: Daniel Craig's franchise-rehabilitating turn as James Bond; the excellent action sequences; the fact that it was smart and compelling, unlike a lot of recent Bond movies that had gotten progressively sillier, almost sel...
"Players Missing Games For Babies Being Born Raises Plenty Of Questions," Writes Pro Football Talk Weirdo
From Mike Florio at Pro Football Talk:...
Art Howe: I Should Manage The Blue Jays Because I Am Not As Fat As Philip Seymour Hoffman
Quick. Come up with reasons Art Howe should manage the Toronto Blue Jays. I have a few. The Blue Jays need a manager. Art Howe is a manager, maybe even a good one—he has a career 1129-1137 record, which isn't so bad given that he spent time running the Mets, A's, and Astros, three franchises with hi...
What It's Like To Play A Round Of Golf At A Maximum Security Prison
This piece was originally published in Tomorrow Magazine, which just published its inaugural issue. Go here to buy a copy, and read more stories here....
Jason Bay And The Mets Are, Mercifully, Getting A Divorce
One never likes to cheer a breakup, even if the pair was wrong for each other from the get-go, and even if the pair deeply, habitually wounded one another. A breakup is a failure. It's pathetic. It's time wasted, and we have so little of it on this earth....
Goalie Fined For Dousing Fans With Water Bottle (Also, There Are Minor-League Hockey Teams In The South)
The video above's been out there for nearly a week, but it escaped any real notice until now, likely because it happened at the end of an ECHL game between the Orlando Solar Bears (get it?) and the Gwinnett (Ga.) Gladiators. John Curry, the Solar Bears' goalie, took care to wait until all of his t...