k Page 3280 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mikhail Prokhorov Is A Cartoon Character
The guy who owns the Nets and isn't Jay-Z sat down for a lengthy Q&A with the Post. He is every bit the caricature the internet has made him out to be. A sample:...

Alex Smith Was Nearly Perfect Last Night, So Jim Harbaugh Said Some More Crazy Shit
You'll excuse us for not watching Niners-Cardinals last night. Our city was flooding. But we checked the various recaps today and saw this:...

Dez Bryant And The Death Of Instant Gratification
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Need Help Battening Down The Hatches? Bob Vila, America's Handyman, Is Here To Take Your Questions
Worried about your windows? Wondering what to do about that leaky ceiling? Scared your basement (or your whole place) is going to be filled with water? Bob Vila—yes, that Bob Vila—is here to help. He spent nearly 20 years on television, and he's still doling out all kinds of fix-it advice on his web...

Czech Fans Chant "Monkey, Monkey" At Wayne Simmonds
Flyers winger Wayne Simmonds recently signed with a team in the Czech Republic to try and ride out the lockout. It is exciting for Czech fans to see real life NHLers, but also scary for some of them to see a black person. So a sizable portion of the crowd in Chomutov did not take it well when Simm...
![Your Dumbest Of Hurricane Dumbasses Is This Bro On A Jetski In The Middle Of New York Harbor [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Your Dumbest Of Hurricane Dumbasses Is This Bro On A Jetski In The Middle Of New York Harbor [UPDATE]
WNBC later interviewed this gent, and we'll update when we can get video of what he had to say, but here he is on his personal watercraft, braving the hurricane-force waves. [WNBC]...

How To Improvise A Meal Out Of Whatever Crap You Have In Your Pantry: A Guide For Ill-Prepared Hurricane Shut-Ins
By now you’ve taken all the standard hurricane precautions—closing the drapes, double-checking to make sure you have an umbrella in your coat closet, duct-taping your pets to the walls, and so on—but you’re at a loss when it comes to the most important challenge of a natural disaster: what to do wit...


Deadspin's NBA Shit List: Sasha Vujacic, The Infernal Machine
A celebration of the NBA's most infuriating players, both past and present. Read other NBA Shit List entries here....

Mike Francesa To Hurricane Victim: "Y'now, Water Will Subside."
It takes a lot more than a hurricane to keep Mike Francesa off the air. Broadcasting from his home studio, Mike was taking calls as usual today, and offering sage advice to those who have felt Sandy's wrath. One caller, Dave, got on the horn with Mike to discuss the important issue of interceptions ...

Your Hurricane Sandy Open Thread
If you live on or near the East Coast, Hurricane Sandy is either A)inconveniencing your day or B)fucking up your shit. Consider this your warm, dry space to exchange safety, food, and booze tips, and share how you're riding out the storm....

Here's Dramatic Video Of A Coast Guard Helicopter Rescuing Passengers Of The Sunken HMS <em>Bounty</em>
For some reason, some smart people decided to sail a replica of an 18th century ship directly into Hurricane Sandy. It went exactly as you'd picture, with the HMS Bounty going down 90 miles off of Cape Hatteras, N.C., with 16 people aboard....

A Map Of The Most Absurd Team-Name Migrations In Sports
Two days ago the New York Islanders announced that they'd be making a short migration from Nassau County to the new Barclays Center in Brooklyn. Brooklyn's on Long Island so the name still makes sense (although the team might have to fix its logo), but franchises aren't always so lucky....

In Polish MMA, Fighters Simultaneously Headbutt Each Other Into Unconsciousness
Marcin "the Polish Hammer" Mencel and Mateusz "the Polish Hammer" Zawadzki end their fight this weekend with the rare technical draw. Note: headbutting is also how Poles kill mosquitoes, screw in light bulbs, and christen screen-door submarines....

College ShameDay: Who Embarrassed Themselves On Saturday (Besides Poor Bob Stoops)?
Our weekly college football shame index. ...

Why Did Jamaal Charles Get Only Five Carries? Romeo Crennel Has No Idea.
Brady Quinn beat out Matt Cassel in the saddest quarterback competition ever—and then left the game with a concussion after going 2-for-4 for a single yard. This was only the second-most Chiefs thing to happen this week. That would be the star running back getting just five carries all day, and the ...

Giants Fans, Show Us Your Celebration Pictures And Videos From Last Night
Reader Tom sent us the video you see above, and it is of what he describes as a "fucking epic" celebration that took place at The Republic in San Francisco after the final out of the World Series. We're inclined to agree with Tom's description, and now we'd like to see more videos and pictures of ...

Shirtless Horse-Man Jogs Through Hurricane News Coverage
One of the more curious finds at Qumran in 1947 was a scroll containing an alternate version of the Book of Revelations, a slightly different apocalyptic scenario than the one we're used to. "And I saw, and behold a white man: and he had a horse head; and jogging shorts: and he went forth capering,...

Roundup: What You Missed The Weekend An Old Golfer Went On A Fantastic Tirade
"Suck My Fuckin' Dick, You Piece Of Shit": Golfer Mark Wiebe's On-Air Meltdown Would Fit In Well On Your Local Muni | PGA Champions tour golfer Mark Wiebe's missed putt during yesterday's second round sent the 55-year-old on a humorously foul tirade. Read »...

The Eagles Are Considering A Quarterback Change, Says Michael Vick
Usually, the clamoring for a change under center comes from fans and media, people who either don't know what they're talking about or haven't taken into account all the reasons for a team's struggles. A porous offensive line, or a defense that puts the quarterback into a position where he has to ta...