k Page 3337 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Josh Hamilton's Fly Ball Damn Near Killed Andruw Jones
The scene is the Yankees game. Right now. Weather's nice in the city. Warm, breezy, with a sun obscured by few clouds. It's a beautiful day to watch baseball, indoors with the windows open, or on television. It's a beautiful day to play baseball, too, if you're anyone but Andruw Jones....


The Mariners' Double-A Team, Including Felix Hernandez's Brother, Went Nutso When Felix Finished His Perfect Game
Batting practice for the Jackson (Tenn.) Generals ground to a halt yesterday afternoon, as Felix Hernandez closed in on his first career perfecto. The end of the game was played on the scoreboard, and the Mariners' AA affiliate gathered in left field to watch the final few pitches. When Sean Rodri...

This Man Is A Standup Comedian And An Evolutionary Anthropologist Studying The Science Of Funny. Ask Him About Jokes.
What do your jokes say about you? That's what Robert Lynch wants to know. He's pursuing his Ph.D. in evolutionary anthropology at Rutgers, and his studies focus on why humans laugh. (He's also a standup comedian.) Lynch is in the discussion below, ready to answer all your questions about the science...

Posnanski: "No, I Don't Feel About Joe Paterno The Same Way I Did When I Started Writing The Book"
But what exactly has changed with Joe Posnanski's thinking? Doesn't say. We're five days away from the release of the former Sports Illustrated star's Joe Paterno biography, and Posnanski took the opportunity to justify the book in a USA Today column today:...

Yup, That's A Kansas City Chiefs Glass Eye
Spotted over at Arrowhead Addict: the last thing a Raiders fan sees before he dies. Steve Graham, 58, lost his right eye in a dart accident when he was a kid, but only a decade ago did he decide to give the real estate to a Chiefs logo....

Jay-Z Only Owns .067 Percent Of The Nets, But He's Basically Re-Engineering The Team
The Brooklyn Nets have two owners in the limelight. There's Mikhail Prokhorov, the whimsical Russian strongman, and then there's Jay-Z, the tenured Brooklyn rapper. Prokhorov has all the big nickel-mining money, so he owns 80 percent of the team. And Hova? He owns one-fifteenth of a percent of the t...

Finally, Batman Meets USC With "Bane Kiffin"
You guys! I finally saw The Dark Knight Rises this weekend, so I totally get all the memes now. Here's a series with promise: Lane Kiffin, rocking the facegear, saying Laney/Baney things. [Bane Kiffin]...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Cleveland Browns
Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Did Performance-Enhancing Drugs Actually Help Melky Cabrera?
Since MLB announced Melky Cabrera's 50-game suspension for testosterone earlier this afternoon, a few folks have been crowing about what a fraud Cabrera is. Evidently Cabrera's sin is worse than the usual steroid stuff because he improved dramatically over the last two years and planned to parlay th...

Specially Contoured Jeans Designed To Combat Scourge Of "Hockey Ass"
So, here's a real product you can buy that I never thought warranted existence. The hockey apparel-minded folks at Gongshow announced this one back in January, but it has just released its new Hustle & Flow jeans, an otherwise ordinary-looking pair of pants that serve a very specific purpose. We'll ...

Mike Pereira, Who Hates The NFL's Replacement Refs, Used To Be A Backup Replacement Ref
Mike Pereira has been so outspoken in his role as the NFL's hall monitor for Fox Sports that even Bill Belichick is outsourcing his opinion of replacement officials to him. And if the early returns are any indication, the scabs are indeed going to be a disaster. But remember: Pereira used to work fo...

ESPN Soccer Analyst Flubs An Answer, Says, "Aw, Shit, Sorry Guys," Gets Reminded He's Speaking Live
In the video above, we find ESPN soccer analyst Janusz Michallik answering a question that hadn't been asked and cussing as he stubs his toe on the metaphorical fourth wall. (The subject at hand is Manchester United's acquisition of Robin van Persie, from Arsenal.) Reminded that he's live, on ESPN...

Bristolmetrics: <em>SportsCenter</em> Finally Discovers Mike Trout
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

Let's Save Jesse Eisenberg's Career
It hasn't been a good week for Jesse Eisenberg. On Sunday, when the cameras caught him watching Team USA's gold medal win over Spain, the broadcasters thought he was actually Mark Zuckerberg. On Wednesday, he "contributed" an "essay" to Dave Eggers' "90 Days, 90 Reasons" site that couldn't have made...

Throwing Up Dip And Learning About Blowjobs: Deadspin's Notes On Summer Camp
I went to Camp Deerhorn in Rhinelander, Wis., every summer for the majority of my adolescence. It was an awesome camp. We got to fire guns. We got to shoot arrows. We got to go on horseback rides. (I’ve never shit my pants with more direct force than the first time I was on a horse and it went from ...

Big East Conference Drops Last Pretense, Hires TV Executive As Commissioner
The Big East hired Mike Aresco to be its commissioner yesterday. Here are actual quotes from the presidents of two of the league's member schools, from the statement announcing the decision:...

Here Is A Video Of Roger Goodell Getting Picked Up By A Youth Football Coach
Today NFL commissioner Roger Goodell hosted USA Football and a few player safety coaches for a conference on Heads Up Football, "a free program that teaches proper tackling technique, concussion awareness and offers coaching education to youth football leagues." Youth football player safety coach ...

Melky Cabrera Tests Positive For Testosterone, Is Suspended 50 Games, Can Still Win The Batting Title
The Giants' Melky Cabrera wowed us this year. That doughy loser who couldn't cut it in New York or Atlanta managed to hit .346/.390/.516 in 113 games, and for good measure, he won the All-Star Game for the National League. But that will be all for him in 2012, because Cabrera, MLB says, was pumped f...

Taylor Grey Meyer, Who Kindly Told The Padres To "Suck Her Dick," Is Here To Answer Your Questions
Everyone, meet Taylor Grey Meyer. Taylor, meet everyone. Taylor is the overqualified, underemployed 31-year-old who applied 30 different times for various jobs with the Padres, getting rejected or ignored each time. When they tried to hit her up for $500 to attend a job fair, she snapped and fired o...