k Page 3394 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Idiot Runs On Field In San Francisco, Tries To Scale Outfield Wall, Fails Miserably
It's time once again to feature the mentally challenged and/or substance-abuse-impaired knuckleheads who jump over the fence and run around on the field of play at sporting events. Today we find ourselves in lovely San Francisco as fans take in the Athletics-Giants game....
High School Ace Strikes Out Five—<i>In One Inning</i>
La Crescent senior pitcher Eric Veglahn was already having a pretty solid game before he set a Minnesota state record by striking out five batters in the same inning last month. Heading into the seventh inning, Veglahn had eight strikeouts when he decided to try and double his tally in one inning....
Which One's The Crackpot? Which One's The Lesbian? Know Your Rickettses, The Politically Active Cubs Owners
The newspaper headlines make it seem like the Chicago Cubs owner is up to no good. "Cubs Owner Ricketts' Anti-Obama Ad Proposal Risks Stadium Growth." "Report: Emanuel 'livid' with Cubs owner after soliciting Jeremiah Wright attack ad proposal." Sounds like this Mr. Ricketts has really vexed some fo...
LaDainian Tomlinson Is "95 Percent Retired"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: And five percent willing to come back for a ring....
"The Kings Have The Ball": More Hockey Coverage From Los Angeles
You do have to feel for FOX 11's newslady. Hockey highlights are tough if you've never watched a hockey game. Kopitar and Doughty aren't easy names to pronounce. But in the wake of another LA station's Kings ignorance, it's entirely possible that a team is going to win a Stanley Cup without anyone...
Will Smith Has Left And Gone Away
When did you first realize that the Fresh Prince could legitimately act? Like, in the big leagues? For once in my life, I was on the early part of the curve; my college newspaper assigned me, a green freshman, a review of Six Degrees of Separation, John Guare's adaptation of his own play about a fan...
Here's Kerry Wood's Emotional Exit From Baseball, After One Final Strikeout
We reported earlier today Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood is retiring from baseball, but the oft-injured hurler promised to make one last appearance before hanging up his cleats. That appearance came today, and it was in a legitimate spot; down 3-2 in the eighth, Wood relieved starter Jeff Samardzija and pr...
Cops Will Steal Your Girlfriend!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Idea For Disney Film About Pittsburgh Pirates: <em>Feces In The Outfield</em>
A sewer line underneath PNC Park clogged, presumably with semi-digested Primanti Bros. sandwiches and broken dreams. Workers had to dig a hole in the outfield to get at the pipes, and will presumably have it repaired before the Bucs return from a road trip and Andrew McCutchen plunges into a chest-d...
PR Guy Who Offered Exclusive Pics Of Some Player And His Super Bowl Ring Wants Us To "Get A Grip And Obviously A Life!!!"
Public relations wiz Jonathan Jaxson has responded to the treatment we gave his email pitch yesterday. First, he called us "Assholes!" in a tweet he has since taken down. Later, he sent me this email, presented here in its entirety:...
Ohio State Self-Reports 46 Violations, But Really, Who Gives A Shit?
The Cleveland Plain Dealer obtained a list of 46 secondary violations committed by Ohio State over the past 12 months, which they self-reported to the NCAA. They've posted all the documents, but here is a choice sampling:...
Better Know An Umpire: Dana DeMuth
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...
The Los Angeles Kings Are A Hotter Ticket Than The Clippers
All three of the professional teams that call LA's Staples Center home are in the playoffs, and all three are scheduled to play host to opponents this weekend—a total of six games in four days, in fact, beginning with last night:...
It's All Going According To (Pat Riley's) Plan
1. "Jay, it's Pat. Pat Riley? Yes, I remember when I cursed you out and told you to never, ever call me 'Pat,' and then hit you pretty good with my briefcase. How many stitches did you need? That's a lot of stitches. But we're friends, right? You can call me Pat anytime. How's Michelle?...
What Boxing Writing Can Teach Us About Everything: A.J. Liebling On Moore-Marciano
Between the Victorian era and the Sixties, boxing was a regular and prominent feature of American life. Knowing something about the fights—being good with your hands, or maintaining an opinion about the welterweight division or fixed bouts or how to beat a southpaw—was a very common piece of equipme...
Headline On Radio Station Website Unintentionally Links Robert Griffin III, Masturbation, Jay Leno
You can see how this might happen, given everything. Robert Griffin III was on The Tonight Show late last night, and he beatboxed for Jay Leno, because there's nothing RGIII can't do, you see. Washington D.C.'s all-news station had the footage, and they wanted to post it on their website this mornin...
Better Know An Umpire: Gary Darling
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...
Kerry Wood Is Retiring
According to a report from ESPN Chicago's Bruce Levine, Kerry Wood will retire today. Wood's struggled this year. He's given up eight hits and walked 11, while striking out only five, in nine innings. Until his hiccups this year, and, evidently, his retirement, Wood appeared set for a semi-successfu...
Laz Diaz Blows An Obvious Call, Ejects Bob Melvin In More Time Than It Would Have Taken To Look At A Replay
Laz Diaz has one of the largest strike zones in baseball. So presumably A's starter Brandon McCarthy thought he was getting a pitcher's umpire. That kinda didn't work out on Elvis Andrus's bunt in the sixth inning, a rare true suicide squeeze....
Kegasus, The Beer-Loving Mascot Of The Beer-Loving Preakness, Is Actually A Sober Phony
What's the saying? If you'll keg stand for something, you'll fall for anything? Promoters of the Preakness Stakes must believe it. Turns out that Kegasus, spokesbeast for the Preakness and the best mascot in all of sports, is a sham....