k Page 3535 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: Later, Sooners
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. ...

Bud Selig Congratulated The St. Louis Cardinals In The Middle Of A Seventh Grade Oral Report
Your morning roundup for Oct. 29, the day we all got tongue-bathed. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Low-Level Sources Close To Pumpkin Ron Washington Say That Pumpkin Ron Washington Is Not Racist, Still Awaiting Word From Pumpkin
An email, received in 24-point font:...

BREAKING: NBA TO ANNOUNCE MORE CANCELED GAMES, ACCORDING TO HIGHEST-LEVEL LEAGUE EMPLOYEE
DATELINE—TWITTERSPACE After this afternoon's collapse in negotiations, commissioner David Stern is planning to announce more cancellations beyond the first two weeks of the season. Opening night was to be Tuesday; now there won't be November basketball. We're told that low-level team employees with ...

Eckstein's Big Heart Is Still The Cards' X-Factor
Rick Bacon is the sports columnist for The Citizen-Pollinator of West Waterville, Missouri. He won an APSE award in 1987 for his column, "Batting Around." This is his first column for Deadspin....

BREAKING: LOCKOUT TALKS BREAK DOWN, ACCORDING TO HIGH-LEVEL EMPLOYEES ACTUALLY INVOLVED IN NEGOTIATIONS
DATELINE—A NICE HOTEL Negotiations between the players and the league broke off without an agreement this afternoon. Neither side is willing to budge on the BRI split: the players are firm at 52 percent, the owners at 50. No talks are scheduled, though both sides hope to meet again this weekend. We ...

Texas Pumpkins Accused Of Racism Over Ron Washington Blackface Costumes
Two Dallas-area pumpkins have caused a stir over their costume choices for local Halloween contests. The pumpkins, one from Irving-based 21st Century Dental (left) and the other a part of the Dawson & Sodd law firm in Corsicana (right), showed up to a statewide "pumpkin contest" dressed in the offen...

Here's A Thing That's Important: Someone Finally Completed The Storied Quadruple Lutz
Stand back from the body of Alois Lutz, Austria: he's spinning in his grave!...

BREAKING: NBA LOCKOUT JUST ABOUT OVER, ACCORDING TO LOW-LEVEL TEAM EMPLOYEES WITH EMAIL ACCESS
After four months, the NBA lockout is in its dying throes, according to multiple team employees who have been informed by the league that business as usual will resume as early as Monday....

Cockblocked On Halloween!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

The Kansas Jayhawks Are Ranked Number Two In Quidditch Heading Into The World Cup
Point being, we cannot wait to see how Bill Self blows this one. [Kansas City Star, h/t Ryan]...

Mizzou Will Join The SEC On Monday, According To SEC's Premature, Accidental Announcement
Missouri became will become the 14th member of the Southeastern Conference (SEC), according to an announcement posted from the future on the conference's website last night that was almost immediately removed....

How Boca Raton Lost Its All-Star Pro Soccer Team Without Even Trying
The Boca Raton magicJack should have been the most marketable franchise in Women's Professional Soccer. The squad, formerly the D.C.-based Washington Freedom, was bought before the 2011 season by millionaire Dan Borislow, who renamed it after his own telecom product and moved it near his Florida hom...

A Brief Word From Joe Buck About His Call Last Night
An email exchange very early this morning, regarding Joe Buck's "We will see you tomorrow night" call:...

Last Night's Best World Series Highlight: The Fox Logo Shooting Out Of The Umpire's Ass
Your morning roundup for Oct. 28, the day our homemade guillotine really did the trick. H/T to Ricardo N. for the video. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

A Brief Word About Joe Buck's "We Will See You Tomorrow Night" Call
I can't believe I'm saying this, but that was really fucking cool....

Here's Mike Napoli's Grotesque Ankle Injury, Slowed Down To A Ridiculous Speed And Set To Music
A fourth-inning mishap Thursday night found Texas Rangers catcher Mike Napoli's ankle—and the viewing audience's stomach—turned. So here it is, in super-slow-mo and set to The Mountain Goats' "Orange Ball Of Pain" in the first of what I'll unimaginatively call "Deadspin Videos." (They were previou...

HOLY SHIT SWEDISH ELK 'THREESOME'
Aggressive Women's Magazine Photographer: Elks! Today we're doing "Swede Shocked By Elk 'Threesome'." So let's get started while we still have good light. Okay, you there, with the knobby knees, get inside that tall one. Higher. HIGHER. ATTACK THOSE HAUNCHES. Great. Now, you in the middle, act a lit...

Memphis Now Has One Sports-Talk Radio Station For Every Vacated 2008 NCAA Tournament Victory
Or, a total of five. [Commercial-Appeal]...
