k Page 3592 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

K-Rod Is Here To Salute You
Your morning roundup for July 21, the day a shark jumped right into our boat. H/Ts to Jon and Eric. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Tiger Woods Dumps His Longtime Caddie, Magically Solves All His Problems
The guy formerly known as the best golfer on earth announced today — via his website — that he was kicking longtime caddie Stevie Williams to the curb. Hell has to response quote like a Tiger Woods sidekick scorned. To wit:...

Buffalo Bills WR Celebrates His Birthday With A Cake That Looks Like His Ladyfriend's Ass
Writes tipster Mark S., "Buffalo Bills WR Stevie Johnson is a strange soul. Blaming god for a dropped ball in November, and now a nice big booty birthday cake."...

Mike Quade Supports A Heliocentric Universe
The moon orbits the earth. The earth orbits the sun. As for what the sun orbits....nobody knows. But on this sunny afternoon at Wrigley Field, a place they tend to play a lot of day baseball, the sun got in Starlin Castro's eyes....

The Graceful, Oversized Legacy of Yao Ming
How long was Yao Ming going to last? That was the question about the seven-foot-six center long before he broke his foot for the first time in the NBA. When Yao joined the league nine summers ago, picked first overall in the 2002 draft by the Houston Rockets, he was the man who would bring the entir...

ESPN's Cringing, Persnickety, Condom-Obsessed Standards And Practices Manual, Presented Unabridged
Below you'll find ESPN's editorial and advertising guidelines as of 2010, sent to us by a tipster. They are the sort of guidelines one finds beneath coffee mugs at any typical media company: binder with laminated cover; nice paper stock; a general air of scolding, constipated didacticism that's like...

If You're An NFL QB, And You Post Your Wedding Registry Online, A Deadspin Reader Might Send You Shot Glasses
What magic this Internet has given us. Among this magic: online wedding registries for NFL quarterbacks, including Jeff Garcia, Alex Smith, and Tony Romo. Because it just has to mean something that Romo needs a cupcake carrier for his new, committed life....

An Old Video Of A Dumb Ref Letting A Dazed Fighter Nearly Get Killed
A little gruesome, this one. Or a lot. It's a Brazilian vale tudo fight. That means "anything goes." And boy does it go, thanks to this blind fool of a referee. The video comes via Frank Shamrock, who calls it "really sad." Yes....

Justin Abdelkader Would Bomb Michigan's Big House Off The Map If He Could
The Red Wings' Abdelkader, a former Spartan, took a ride with the Blue Angels in an F/A-18 Hornet. "We flew over Ann Arbor, went over the Big House – if we'd had had a couple bombs on it, maybe we would have dropped a couple on there." He's joking, we think. [Detroit Free Press]...

Here's Ndamukong Suh Dancing To Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold"
When we last checked in on Ndamukong Suh, he was eating himself. Now he's tweeting himself dancing to "Hot n Cold." This is his first and likely last Katy-Perry-inspired video, as the lockout looks close to over and he'd have to get a permit to strap fireworks to his chest in Michigan. [Complex]...

If The Raiders and 49ers Share A Stadium, Where Should It Go?
No one saw this coming, but the Raiders and 49ers have been talking about the possibility of rooming together. In preliminary meetings, they have floated the idea of building one fancy new stadium, with both teams sharing it. Considering is not the same as committing, and even farther from actually ...

Vince Wilfork Would Like To Express His Condolences To Robert Kraft, But Can't
Myra Kraft, the wife of the Patriots' owner and a philanthropist in her own right, died early today. We're here to help Vince Wilfork let the Kraft family know he's thinking of them....

The Metrodome Should Be Condemned
Last year, the Vikings replaced the turf at the Metrodome because the old stuff led to too many twisted ankles and torn ligaments. There was a whole to-do, and it went to court, and eventually they were allowed to bring in the new turf. It lasted all of one season....

Brandon Jennings Was On Time For This Alley-Oop To Himself
Bucks guard Brandon Jennings did his best Kevin Durant impression in a self-assisted, fast-break alley-oop at Baltimore's Melo Center earlier this week. His timing was impeccable....

Circle Me, Innuendo
Your morning roundup for July 20, the day we failed trying to tell Twins play-by-play man Dick Bremer we went to Staples High, too. H/T to Tim for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Kentucky Man Charged With Repeat Horse-Sex Offense
Nathan Johnson, 28, just can't suppress the urges inside him. Or maybe he was just bored in Paducah, Kentucky, a city of 25,000 near the Illinois border. The heat, oh, the heat. It can drive a man mad....

Radio Broadcaster Who Looks Freakishly Like Tim Howard Bumps Into Tim Howard
According to Greg Matzek, Milwaukee-area radio personality on 620-WTMJ (an appropriate call sign, given most talk radio folks' penchant for gratuitous gab), he's been told hundreds of times that he looks like Tim Howard. He says he was confused for Tim Howard on the red carpet at the 2007 ESPYs—we b...

Former Phillies Reliever Ricky Bottalico Is Worried About Roy Oswalt's Bulging Dick
Crossing Broad brings us another highlight to add to the already lengthy reel of sports broadcasters talking about bulging dicks....

Lute Olson, Billy Gillispie (And Other College Coaches You Probably Hate) Appear To Have Lost Lots In Ponzi Scheme
College coaches are probably paid too much, especially when you consider how much—nothing—players make. John Calipari just got a deal for $36.5 million. Jim Calhoun resents being asked about why he's the highest-paid state employee of Connecticut....

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part V: Return To River Bend
We already posted your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is nailed to a cross while dogs gnaw off its toes. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All...