k Page 3602 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Portland Continues Mirthfully Torturing Fan Base, Will Offer Greg Oden One-Year Extension
The Portland Blazers are expected to make Greg Oden — the most easily-forgotten TMZ star of our time and the youngest veteran in the league — a restricted free agent with a $8.8 million qualifying offer for a one-year contract extension. With the offer alone, the Blazers will reserve the right to ma...
Luke Fickell Didn't Answer Terrelle Pryor's Call Because He Was At A Taylor Swift Concert
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the incoming coach and the outgoing QB, just ships passing in the night....
Those MLB Net Guys Have All The Fun: Eric Byrnes Jacks Up Harold Reynolds On Set
The fun starts 25 seconds in, when Harold Reynolds takes to a stool on MLB Net's giant Secaucus field of dreams. Byrnes is there to explain what Rockies left fielder Charlie Blackmon should have done to the nuisances in the Cubs bullpen who obstructed him on a pop-up. Reynolds is his prop. Byrnes ...
Alas, Mardy Fish: American Tennis Rots From The Head Down
There was a single American remaining in the quarterfinals at Wimbledon this year, and his name was Mardy Fish. His is never a name that inspires confidence or even optimism in tennis fans in the United States, most of whom are still lamenting the retirement of Pete Sampras a decade ago. Fish lost t...
Intel Executive Wonders Moronically "What Intel Can Learn from Miami Heat's Recent Loss"
Let's watch a bunch of Intel employees draw a lot of silly corporate lessons from the failure of one really good basketball team to beat another really good basketball, shall we? First, here's an executive's blog post, written on the company's internal site and passed along by a tipster. We've left ...
With NBA Lockout Looming, Gilbert Arenas And Dwight Howard Start Planking
Perhaps you are familiar with planking, one of those odd fads forced upon us by Australians. (Just like Hugh Jackman!) One planks by lying completely flat on an odd surface and then photographing it....
ESPN Book To Become Future Major Motion Picture About Bristol Guys Having Fun
According to an insider from one of the major talent agencies, Hollywood has expressed significant interest in turning the Miller/Shales oral history of ESPN into a blockbuster movie. It's in the very early stages but, according to our source, one lucky studio will make a major financial investment...
A Year Ago, Diamondbacks 3B Sean Burroughs Was Drinking 8 Slurpees Daily, Eating Cheeseburgers Out Of A Trash Can
Sean Burroughs, if you'll recall, was once the fraught golden boy of early 2000s NL baseball—the smooth-swinging Padres third baseman who could only hit singles. (His career isolated slugging percentage, .078, is only a fuzz better than Juan Pierre's.) But Burroughs has since resuscitated his pro ca...
Memo To Jonah Lehrer: Mark Cuban Says The Mavs Used Statistics Against The Heat
Jonah Lehrer is still arguing that the Dallas Mavericks beat the Miami Heat by ignoring statistics and turning loose the intangible powers of J.J. Barea. Or at least that stat-heads can't prove that wasn't the case:...
Charles Barkley Has Opinions On Things, This Time At A Baseball Game
For a half-inning, Charles Barkley joined the Sportsnet broadcast booth in Toronto. We edited it down to just the highlights (SportsGrid has the entire thing) of Charles holding court on on local food, the Phillies, and other random nonsense....
Wily Mo Pena Spits A Loogie Into His Helmet, Hits Two-Run Walkoff
Via Awful Announcing, here's Baseball MLB Tonight's involved slo-mo breakdown of Willy Mo Pena's pre-game-winning-homerun ritual: he sends a gob of spit and possibly other substances in his helmet, and then he wears the helmet. Babe might be proud. Babe also might be kind of grossed out....
Troy Tulowitzki Scores From First On A Bloop Single, Miguel Tejada Nearly Gets Thrown Out At Home On A HR
I guess what we're saying is that Tulo always hustles, while Tejada is looking to top the Tater Tot Tracker charts....
Dirk Nowitzki Is Big In Germany
Your morning roundup for June 29, the day we started rapping on light poles. Image — of Dirk Nowitzki's triumphant return to his hometown of Wurzburg, Germany — via MSNBC Photoblog....
Drunk Ohio Teacher Resists Arrest, Sprays Cops With Her Breastmilk
We're not sure we know the precise meaning of the term "hot mess," but this just has to be the perfect application. Meet Stephanie Robinette, 30, a lactating charter-school teacher from Westerville, Ohio (a Columbus suburb), who got drunk, disorderly, and weird over the weekend....
California Minor League Hockey Team Demands Quite A Lot From Those Applying To Be Its Mascot
Inhabiting a mascot's costume can be demanding work. We know that. But who would have guessed that it had so many prerequisites? Tipster Rick alerts us to this ECHL job posting from the Stockton Thunder. They're looking to hire someone to portray Thor, their mascot....
Hunt For Beejoli Shah, Fabulist Author Of Viral "Quentin Tarantino Sucked My Toes!" Story Begins (UPDATE)
So, friendsicles: how many of you had the email from "beejoli" forwarded to you this morning and have subsequently sent it along to others? Dozens, I bet. Thousands even. Dozens of thousands probably. Its veracity is still unknown but I know Gawker is dutifully trying to track down "beejoli" to see ...
John Calipari Has A Shockingly Logical Plan For Paying Players
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Calipari on how to pay just the ones that bring in the money....
The Right Place At The Right Time: Remembering Lorenzo Charles
In the photographs of that moment, he doesn't show an expression of power, of joy, of triumph or even relief. His eyebrows are arched back, his eyes are wide, his face drawn into a grimace. N.C. State's Lorenzo Charles does not look like a man dunking a basketball, but rather a man returning to Eart...
What's The Best Way To Clean Up Spooge After Bareback Sex?
Hey, I'm some lady. I'm filling in for that guy you like, who is on vacation, which means that he is most likely drinking rum out of a hollow fruit and riding a horse on a beach somewhere right now (romantic!). Speaking of segueing into talking about horses, my main beef with horses is how fragile t...
The Face Of Totalitarianism Meets The Righteous Boot Of Democracy
Maybe the North Koreans really were struck by lightning; if "Lightning" is Megan Rapinoe's nickname for her right foot....