k Page 3694 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Happy New Year: There Is An American Ryder Cup Captain's Dick Shot For Sale
Somebody wake Dan Jenkins from his afternoon nap and fetch his slippers because there's a wayward PGA penis on the loose. Proud sportswriters, please test that 2011 resolution to ignore this type of tawdry checkbook journalism....

Clarification: Ron Franklin Called Jeannine Edwards "Sweet Baby," Not "Sweet Cakes"
Sweet baby? What the hell is that? Who calls anyone "sweet baby," outside of Boyz II Men songs? This makes Ron Franklin both patronizing and weird. [USA Today; earlier]...

Not A Great Day For Peter King
First he discovers (and describes in detail) this newfangled drinking game called "keg standing," or something. Then he makes an unfortunate pun on Arian Foster's name. He's taking this Favre thing hard....

Skiing Through New York Blizzard At 40 MPH Is Exhilarating, Terrifying
The Snowpocalypse looks even more like a Mad Max wasteland when you tow a dude on skis down Park Avenue at high speed....

The Wonderful World Of Twitter Prostitutes, Starring Ronny Turiaf And Ms. Candy Deepthroat (UPDATE)
Twitter has opened up a whole new world where skirt-chasers and jersey-chasers can pursue each other with a minimum of fuss. At least until the girl puts the athlete on blast....

Phil Jackson Says Allegedly Mean Thing About Kobe Bryant In Language Resembling English
The Sporting News thinks Kobe and Phil Jackson are now trading "barbs." I dunno. Maybe this sounded a lot more cutting in the original Swedish?...

"Cooking With Bill Belichick" Is Delightful
This has been floating around for a while, but it's new to us. It comes from Ohio proto-sports/humor show Sports Mock Live. We wonder if Belichick is in on the joke, because he's the type who's never in on the joke....

Hey Sara Carbonero! Stay Away From Cristiano Ronaldo!
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

The Losers Win The Weekend
The Seattle Seahawks, with a 7-9 record, will host a playoff game next weekend. Predictably, there are already calls for realignment, reseeding, and an entire rejiggering of the playoff process. We say no: this is an all-time great moment for mediocrity....

Jim Rome Says, "War <em>America's Funniest Home Videos</em>"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
Am I the only person who thinks St. Louis vs. Seattle could be a fantastic sub-.500 game?...

Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
Games with playoff implications: Carolina at Atlanta, Pittsburgh at Cleveland, Tampa Bay at New Orleans, Cincinnati at Baltimore....

Elway's Back, Bitches
With the Denver Broncos franchise essentially reduced to rubble, John Elway will face a hell of a lot more than 98 yards versus a Cleveland Browns defense when the team introduces him as VP of football operations this week....

Scenes From A Pittsburgh Restroom
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

If You Mess With The Skunk, You Get Face Punched
So, former pro wrestler Christopher "The Skunk" Antal, who lost a mayoral bid in Massachusetts and pretended to urinate on a Brazilian flag on his cable-access show, was just charged with punching a 59-year-old woman in the face....

Nick Van Exel's Son Is Free On Bail
Two days after being arrested for murder in Dallas, Nickey Maxwell Van Exel is a free man whose lawyer claims murder is a harsh term for "horseplay." Bail was originally $1 million; NMVE only had to post $25,000....

Hungover? Watching Brett Favre Dance To A Vanilla Ice Song Should Help
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

NHL Winter Classic Report: HOCKEY!
Our puckhead Katie Bakes is dicking around scenic Pittsburgh for the NHL Winter Classic. She has filed the following icy report....

Here Comes The Ass: Deadspin’s Worst Of 2010
I love Worst of the Year articles. So let us now eschew all the good things from 2010 like Winter's Bone and iPad porn and spend some time wallowing in SHEER SUCK....

Last Night's Winner: Big Ten Refs Grab The Spotlight
It's rare when we even notice which conference's refs are working bowl games. So the Big Ten crews at the Music City and Pinstripe Bowls must have been doing something right. Or wrong. Or both....