k Page 3712 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Your Infelicitous Turn Of Phrase Of The Day
Ashley Fox, Philadelphia Inquirer: "Michael Vick once fought and electrocuted dogs. Now, as the Eagles' starting quarterback, he is the most electric player in the National Football League." [Inquirer, image via deviantART]...

Half-Headed Man Takes World's Most Bizarre Mugshot
There's clearly something off with this man's skull. As the profile shot reveals, it's that he's missing most of it....

“My Pussy Is Like Steel!” And Other Things You Hear During Sex
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Read This: "One Throw," By W.C. Heinz
Bronx Banter has dug up a charming old short story by W.C. Heinz, author of one of the all-time great pieces of sportswriting....

Last Night's Winner: Goals, Goals, Goals
Here are the highlights of the Lightning/Flyers game; they're about 40 minutes long. That's because the teams managed to combine for 15 goals, all but one of them coming in the first two periods....

It's Not A Professional Sporting Event In Florida If Two Fans Aren't Punching Each Other On Camera
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Brett Favre's Dong-Phone Number, Jenn Sterger Legal Updates, And Other Things Of Note
It's been relatively quiet on the sexting front, but there's some movement afoot that suggests the end to this saga is just beyond the phallus-shaped horizon....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Billy Paultz
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater. Today's subject: Billy "The Whopper" Paultz, set to some folk music that sounds simultaneously Mexican and Celtic....

Heat Strokes, Game 11: The Fuck-You Game We've Been Waiting For
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Kansas City MLS Team's New Name Is Impossibly Awful
Goodbye, Kansas City Wizards. Hello, Sporting Kansas City. Or as we will refer to them hereafter, The Fightin' Gerunds....

Blues Goalie Spikes It Into The Net: Bad In Volleyball, Worse In Hockey
The bad news: Jaroslav Halak has allowed 13 goals in his last two games. The good news: he actually only gave up 12, because one last night was a horrible own-goal....

Here's What Some Are Calling Cricket's Catch Of The Year
England's Monty Panesar, a notably terribly fielder, made an excellent snag. Snazzy, yes, but would it even make Web Gems?...

Eva Longoria's And Tony Parker's Roller Coaster Photo Is What We Call Foreshadowing
In happier times, the new couple took in some wholesome fun in Las Vegas. Only later would they realize they were riding a giant metaphor....

Fred Smoot Didn't Have All That Much Fun On The Vikings Sex Boat
Even a lake full of prostitutes wasn't nasty enough for the double-donger himself. "It was the most overrated party I have ever been to in my life." [DC Sports Bog]...

What Are You Going To Do, Charge Lindsey Vonn With Smoking?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Dan Snyder Makes Grandmothers Cry, And That's Just The Beginning Of It
Dave McKenna of the Washington City Paper has compiled an A-Z guide of all the things that make Redskins owner Dan Snyder awful. U is for "Unobstructed View: What Snyder wanted of the Potomac River from the back of his Montgomery County home."...

Eva Longoria Divorces Tony Parker Over Affair With Brent Barry's Wife, Reports Guy From <em>Saved By The Bell</em> And Other Journalists
So Longoria split from Tony Parker, and there are rumors of a fling with a teammate's wife. We're confident running with this, because it's being reported by some of the top names in sports media....

A Video Gallery Of Terrible Team Songs, Featuring Zubaz Pants, "Let's Get Metsmerized," And Much More
Previously, we looked at bad '80s team songs. They were bad, but our morbid curiosity was not fulfilled. We asked you to send us more. You did not disappoint. Here are more awful '80s team songs....

Charles Oakley Swears On His Mother, Probably At Her Too
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Oak's not getting along with the Knicks....

Cranky Old Man Chides Everyone For Enjoying YouTube Clip
Frank Deford on that whimsical middle school trick play: "It wasn't genius at all; rather, it was a form of child abuse."...