k Page 3740 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Man Masturbates In Toy Aisle To Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
According to police, William Black grabbed the SI mag at his local Walmart, walked to the toy aisle, rubbed one out, and wiped it on a plastic light saber. [The Smoking Gun]...

Tom Brady Wishes Patriots Fans Were More Like Jets Fans
Brady wasn't pleased with Gillette Stadium emptying out early in the fourth quarter of Sunday's game, and noted that Jets fans would never leave with time remaining. Well, sure, but that's because of Rex Ryan's gravitational pull. [Boston Herald]...

Letter From A Young Female Sportswriter: Ines Sainz, You Make Me Want To Stop Trying
If rationality and feminism and mediocre Spanish skills didn't stop me, I would write to Ines Sainz and ask her to tell me why she does what she does for a living....

More Ines Sainz Outrage From Male Readership: "This Bitch Wants Her Cake And Eat It Too."
As we enter Day 4 of Ines Sainz disrupting the lives of the Jets, the NFL PR department, and every newspaper columnist in America, we continue to receive more unhinged emails from readers willing to speak with unfiltered honesty....

Day One At Dink Inc.: A Woman Begins Her Odyssey Through Sports Gambling's Underworld
Beth Raymer moved to Vegas in 2001, hoping to land a cocktail-waitressing job. Instead, she wound up the girl Friday to a gambler named Dink, from whom she learned that one "takes" the dog, "lays" the favorite, and never, ever steals....

Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Juiceboxes)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Pro Football Doubletalk
We missed the initial to-do over the scene depicted here, wherein Albert Haynesworth mills around enormously in the vicinity of a defensive meeting, but it's since become something of a Rorschach that determines if you're a sensible human being or Mike Florio....

Tennis Has Its <em>Heidi</em> Moment, And Everyone Is Pissed
"This partnership will provide more tennis, to more people, in more ways than ever before," said the USTA's CEO in 2008 after signing a six-year ESPN deal. He was partially correct: I've never seen a tennis broadcast quite like yesterday's....

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: "Shaquille O'Neal" Makes Out With Some Guy At A Party
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: The Diesel, Shaquille O'Neal....

I'm Still Not Sure How One Suffers A Perforated Colon On A Kickoff Return
Arkansas' Dennis Johnson did on this play. From the looks of the replay, he doesn't appear to have had a helmet rammed up his ass. [SportsGrid]...

Eric Bledsoe's High School Transcript Is Some Shady Business
The one-and-done Kentucky stud needed an A in a certain high school class to be academically eligible for college. The grade report shows he made a C average. What gives?...

Binghamton Baller Who Fled Country Finally Faces The Music
Miladin Kovacevic, the Binghamton basketball player who beat a schoolmate into a coma and then fled to Serbia, accepted a plea deal and will spend 27 months in prison....

Your Comments Will Now Be Judged Differently
Yes. I know. Who's excited about a change in the commenting system? YAY. But, this time, I think you'll find these new additions helpful in your quest to become a commenting superstar. Pickle?...

Blackhawks Fans Swing Dancing To That One Annoying Song, Because Why Not
A bunch of Blackhawks fans finally decided to combine their team's insufferable goal-scored anthem with the Lindy Hop because when anyone thinks "middling Scottish rock song," they think "dance celebrating Charles Linbergh." [Puck Daddy]...

Waino, Skip, And The Double Dutch Rudder
Sometimes, we post thoughtful and measured criticism of athletes and the media. Other times we post videos that make it look like two Cardinals players are beating each other off....

Rafael Nadal Digs Deep For A U.S. Open Victory
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your Other Monday Night Football Open Thread: Chargers-Chiefs
If you're going to be glued to the TV while the Chargers put up thirty-four or so on the Chiefs, this is the open thread for you. Let your hatred of Todd Haley seethe below. ...

Your Monday Night Football Open Thread: Ravens-Jets
Monday night, the time of the week when it used to be a novelty that football was on but hasn't been for quite a while, is finally here, and both teams have a bunch of sparkling new toys to show off tonight....

Another Wrestler Dies Of Another Heart Attack
Mike "Bastion Booger" Shaw, 53, died over the weekend of a heart attack. He famously feuded with Bam Bam Bigelow (dead of a drug overdose) over Bigelow's valet, Luna Vachon (dead of a likely drug overdose). [FanHouse]...

Tiger Woods Can't Stop Swearing, Breaking Promises To Stop Swearing
Tiger Woods, whether he's chastising himself or enthusiastically congratulating a friend, cannot stop swearing—around his kids, no less. Oh fuck no....