k Page 3764 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ooh, Ooh: Cristiano Ronaldo Is Getting Married!
Frankly, thank Christ for Facebook — without it, Cristiano Ronaldo's life might maintain an element of mystique, but then everyone would be bored....
A Compendium Of Horrible, Horrible Twitter Poetry
Twitter is an inherently silly and disposable means of communication. Oh, but there are people out there who take their tweets seriously. Very seriously. AFFIRMED....
Dumb TV People Interview Thierry Henry, Remind America Why It Can't Have Nice Soccer Things
Click to viewThe newly minted New York Red Bull visited the set of Fox 5's morning show, Chirpy Morons Sit on Sofa and Talk About Vitamins, and submitted to a whole host of indignities. Watch, if you can. [MLS Talk, via @GrantWahl]...
Last Night's Winner: The NHL Growing A Pair For Once
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the NHL, which by rejecting Ilya Kovalchuk's contract did the right thing; unfortunately they've been doing the wrong thing for so long, they just come off hypocritical....
And In The 7th, Someone Tried To Throw A Chair At Beck And O'Reilly, But It Hit Geraldo In The Nose
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...
Arizona Lady Emigrates Illegally From Shirt
Maybe Arizona is the lawless hellhole Jan Brewer's made it out to be, after all. Between the Nazis on the borders and the streets becoming sets for an ill-advised No Country For Old Men sequel, the citizens of Arizona now have to worry about the unpatrolled border of this lady's cleavage....
Young Ladies, Who May Or May Not Have Penises, Enjoy Cricket
A troupe of traveling Thai Ladyboys have given cricket a go on their visit to Manchester. They learned that athletic tape wasn't intended for taping your junk between your legs, but it does the trick. [Metro] (H/T Tom K. Again.)...
Best News Lede Ever? Best News Lede Ever.
"A German court on Tuesday threw out the case of a schoolteacher against a pupil who allegedly tormented her by scrawling pictures of rabbits on the blackboard to aggravate her rabbit phobia." [The Local] (H/T Tom K.)...
Ah, The Ol' Lacrosse Hidden Ball Trick
It might not have the Iroquois, but the World Lacrosse Championship does have the sneaky Japanese...What do you mean, 'racial stereotype?' It's the hidden ball trick! That's sneaky!...
Jeff Gordon's Ex-Wife Being Sued For Naming Her Son After Him
James Dixon, the father of Brooke Gordon's 1-year-old, has taken her to court, demanding child support and that he have Dixon's last name instead of "Gordon." Dixon should be happy: without Jeff Gordon, Brooke wouldn't have any money to give. [Scene Daily]...
Accused Rapist Now Tied With Serial Philanderer As America's Favorite Athlete
The full list, per Harris Interactive: 1.) Acquitted Accused rapist, serial philanderer; 3.) Overrated tax cheat; 4.) Former junkie; 5.) Choker; 6.) Cocksucker; 7.) Corporate tool; 8.) Pretty boy; 9.) Drew Brees; 10.) Some guy driving a car. [Harris Interactive]...
You Will Never Guess Which <em>First Take</em> Talking Head's Bicep This Is
I know, I guessed Dana Jacobson too, but wrong. Give up? Holy shit, it's Skip Bayless!...
Today In Things Making You Fatter: Baseball
Shocking news out of the halls of SI today: all-you-can-eat deals at baseball games are extremely unhealthy, and teams might have some ethical obligation to stop such promotions. To the pull-quotes!...
John Kruk Thinks Prince Fielder Isn't Too Fat
Teams should pay Fielder millions of dollars and not worry about his weight, says a man who was paid millions of dollars and refused to drop pounds. He then proceeded to pick his teeth with one of Mickey Morandini's de-fleshed ribs. [ESPN.com]...
Australian Cricket Player Stripped Of "Father Of The Year" Crown
The state of Victoria has rescinded Australian cricket legend Dean Jones's 2007 Father of the Year award after details of a nine-year affair with an "air hostess" surfaced. What sort of details, you say? Why a lovechild of course....
Last Night's Winner: Whatever's Left Of Sportswriting's Conscience
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Dave Kindred, who the other day threw some heat at Mitch Albom's bean and gave us moderate hope that the sportswriting establishment isn't completely out to lunch....
This Is Not Pete Rose's Corked Bat
MLB's all-time hits leader, who's not allowed to step foot into Cooperstown because he's an awful human being, keeps popping up places with his girlfriend — "the Pamela Anderson of Korea" — to show her off to people. [MyFoxNY]...
Someone Just Told Julio Borbon He Has To Spend 14 Innings In Detroit
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Rangers Pitcher Hit In Head With Comeback Liner
Tonight in the bottom of the 6th, Rangers reliever Dustin Nippert took a hard liner to the head courtesy of the Tigers' Austin Jackson. Nippert seemed shaken but ultimately walked himself off. He is currently listed as day-to-day, according to MLB.com....