k Page 3813 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kentucky's Future Lawyers Blow Off Class For Game, Get Called Out By Angry Dean
Northern Kentucky Law School held a mandatory "professionalism" lecture Thursday night, at the same time as UK's opening round game. The result: maybe not a lesson in professionalism, but certainly one in irony....

A Tale Of Two Zebras: Hockey Refs Turn Informant, Victim
Hockey referees are a fickle creature: sometimes they tell you how to beat the goalie, sometimes you get arrested for checking them into the boards. This weekend saw both....

Live Blogging People Dancing With What Some Consider To Be Stars
See this lady? She's involved somehow in tonight's season premiere of DWTS (pronounced "duh-witz"), along with 10 other celebrities....

Mark Ingram's Money-Laundering Father Gets Extended Sentence For Watching Sugar Bowl
Mark Ingram, father of Heisman Trophy winner Mark Ingram, will serve an extra 27 months in federal "[Office Space quote]" prison after jumping bail to watch Alabama's 2009 Sugar Bowl loss to Utah....

Pat Jordan Submits His Spring Break Essays To Us Via Fax
...And the first installment will run tomorrow Wednesday. Mr. Jordan cargo van-slummed it in Daytona Beach for us last week to complete this assignment, so pass it along to friends and colleagues because he'll never do this for us again....

Carl Lewis In Spandex, And Other Hilarious Athlete Forays Into Music Careers
Fresh off the startling news that Manny Pacquiao canceled his Hawaii concert, it's high time to examine the other aural atrocities committed by top athletes. [The Top 13]...

Four Important Things To Know So Your Spring Break Won't Suck
A few weeks ago, I asked you for your very worst Spring Break horror stories. Here is mine....

Phil Mushnick Does Not Want To Hear About Anyone's Testicles
"[Bill Raftery's] continued hollering of a crude crotch term after a big shot long ago should have ended, if not voluntarily, then on orders." Relatedly, in the same column, Mushnick professes to miss Billy Packer, who's a dick. [NYP]...

Today In Sports Endurance Achievements: Three-Minute Hockey Fight
Saturday, St. Louis Blues bruiser Cam Janssen and New Jersey Devil's welterweight Pierre-Luc "I Wasn't In Duran Duran" Letourneau-Leblond lethrew down during the first period. Three minutes later, they had become Übermensch. [Fan House; tunes by TV on the Radio]...

Now Is The Time To Invest In Indian Cricket
Screw the worldwide economic meltdown! The Indian Premier League is expanding and two owners just paid $700 million for the right to buy in—or more than it would have cost to buy the entire league two years ago....

Soak Yourself In Deadspin's Spring Break Week (NSFW)
All week long Deadspin will be celebrating the phenomenon of American Spring Break. There's much to come, but for now, please watch this educational video put together by hairypalmed intern David Matthews, documenting the effects of water on cotton apparel....

Book Excerpt: "Confessions Of A Washed-Up Sportswriter," From <em>Rules Of The Game</em>
Today's excerpt comes from a 1968 essay by Gary Cartwright, anthologized in Harper's Magazine's new sportswriting anthology, Rules of the Game, which we highly recommend....

Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: The Rams Are Nothing If Not Efficient
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases stat nerds will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: Numbers don't lie, dummy....

Let's Get All The Tiger Woods' "Masters Threesome" Jokes Out of the Way Now
USA Today's unavoidable weekend poll question: Who is best suited to play in Tiger's threesome at the Masters? "For pure theater, why not make Y.E. Yang part of the threesome?" Why not, indeed! [Thanks to Chris S.]...

Onions Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like players who had the courage to take the big shot—no matter how ill-advised—and became heroes to small children everywhere. Don't you hate guys like that?...

Subliminal Telestrator Messages Get A Lot Less Subliminal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

ESPN On Five-Minute Tiger Interview: "More Important For Us To Have No Restrictions"
ESPN decided that a short, tape-delayed interview with Tiger Woods near his mansion columns was better than no interview - and Lightning Round Tom Rinaldi was the first and obvious choice to conduct the interview, the WWL said....

Golf Channel Actually Asks Tiger Woods Tougher Softball Questions
Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman actually asks better questions and introduces us to Tiger's magic pussy protector Buddhist bracelet he now wears to keep rooted. She also reveals Ari Fleischer is done working for Team Tiger. Big day for "Kell." [GolfChannelTranscript]...

Big 12, Big East, A-10 Vie For Most Disappointing Tourney Conference: Your 5:00ish Games Open Thread
Xavier-Pitt, Texas A&M-Purdue, and Cal-Duke close out the weekend. By the end of the late afternoon slate, our Sweet 16 will be set. Well, not "ours." Mine included Kansas and 'Nova. Keep up in the comments....

Oregon's Stolen Projector: The Real Victim
Jeremiah Masoli admitted to stealing a projector, among other things, from an Oregon frat house. But the media has criminally under-reported that aspect of the theft. We have learned exclusively that the frat was really enjoying that projector....