k Page 3928 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Trials of Willie, The Inflatable Dry-Humping Shark
Willie, the mighty Tiburón, is the air-assisted mascot of a popular junior soccer team in Colombia. Unfortunately, Willie's enthusiasm occasionally gets the better of him and he recently got suspended for disrespecting an opposing team. With his crotch....

U.S. Open Should Begin Any Day Now
After four days of interminable, Noah's Ark-like rain, it's my understanding that the US Open golf thingy will actually start sometime today. Oh, they already started—and stopped—the fourth round in the darkness last night? How lucky....

Talk Like An Egyptian
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Artie Lange's Post-Buck Interview Round-Up
Plus, Stern's odd little shout-out to Tommy Craggs ("I think he's from Miami") at the 9:20 mark here. 11 years later, Lange's firebombing is still not as awkwardHoward's on the ill-fated "Magic Hour."[Bob's Blitz]...

Pointless Sunday Gallery: When In Doubt, Lead With Roy Hobbs
Barbecue, La-Z-Boys, dessert, good fathers, seminal moments in pop culture and really, really dreadful fathers. It's the Father's Day edition of Pointless Sunday Gallery. Except this time, it has a point. Sort of?...

@DanJenkinsGD Can Haz Cheeseburger
On a semi-related note, Emeritus on Jenkins: "It's kind of unbelievable Twitter existed without him. Proves my theory: Had he started a blog before Deadspin, I'd be flipping burgers." Amen. Easily the star of this year's washed-out Open. [Washington Post]...

What We Learned About The 2009 Wimbledon Champion
"Every tennis lover would like, someday, to play like Federer," Philippe Bouin tells Cynthia Gorney of The New York Times Magazine for this week's cover story. "But every man wants to be Rafael Nadal. Which is different."...

The U.S. Open At Bethpage Black, Sponsored By Happy Gilmore
The New York galleries are so lively, we've heard all week. They're great for golf, and the players love it! Turns out, it's all just a euphemism for "New Yorkers like to get tanked and heckle Tiger Woods."...

Let's All Jump Into Puddles
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Barnes Bears Down At Bethpage
Former US Amateur champion and University of Arizona star Ricky Barnes set the 36 hole US Open scoring record at -8 following the second round 65 he completed in this morning's favorable conditions....

USC Names O'Neill As Men's Basketball Coach
USC has hired Kevin O'Neill as their new men's basketball coach. It's not the best job in sports, but it's better than working for the Grizzlies. Just keep an eye on the petty cash. [ESPN]...

Bernie Kosar is Broke
Bernie Kosar has proven himself to be a better quarterback than businessman. Kosar has filed for bankruptcy after bad investments have landed him in over $19 million in debt....

Dirk Nowitzki Can't Escape The Crazy
Dirk Nowitzki has filed for sole custody of the child that might not be his, while his ex-girlfriend is under FBI investigation for threatening his attorney from jail. It's all one big ball of crazy....

Arod is Tired
A slumping Alex Rodriguez has been pulled from the Yankees line-up for "fatigue". Hitting .145 for the month and going 0-for-15 is exhausting. [Roto Arcade]...

Rocco Mediate Not Quite Tiger
Rocco Mediate follows in Tiger's footsteps, right onto the water [Devil Ball]...

Transformers Party Crashed by Ron Artest
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

A's Fan Gets $500K For Being A Douchebag
Attorney scores a settlement from the A's after a lawsuit claiming gender discrimination for not getting a breast cancer hat on Mother's Day. Expect upcoming lawsuits against Curves, gynecologists, and child birth. [NBC Philadelphia]...

Addendum, Inc.: Matthew Berry, Eric Wynalda, Tucker Max
Tony Mandarich wasn't the only person to email us about semi-offensive items on today's Deadspin. Let's do a full rundown before the weekend makes Friday a distant, foggy memory for us all....

Note To Sportswriters: Wide Receivers Aren't Actually Divas
Don Banks, the Sports Illustrated writer last seen comparing Matt Millen to Dick Nixon in a good way, wonders today why so many wide receivers act like divas. Not to pick on Banks again, but ......