k Page 4032 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Scrubs Die First!
There's nothing more hilarious than these first few weekends of college basketball, when the proven stalwarts of the league get their toes wet and warm up those endorphins by taking on schools that no one outside of a 5-mile radius of the campus have ever heard of before. Stetson? Check. Farleigh D...
Lightning Gamble on Rick Tocchet
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap While Barry Melrose waited over a decade to take another head coaching job in the NHL, the Tampa Bay Lightning waited only 16 games to fire him. Rick Tocchet will step in as head co...
A Toast To This Smut-Filled Week of Debauchery
Thank GOD this week is over. Christ. Between going out on dates with dim-witted strippers, gloom-and-doom reports from management, litigious MMA fighters and threats from spatially-challenged U of F co-eds, this week has been a perfect storm of corporate drudgery. Well, not the stripper. But that wa...
The Sabathia Subway Series Has Begun
Both the Mets and Yankees believe that they have one more large object to intsall in their brand new ballparks, and it ain't a deep fryer; although it will consume many, many cheese fries. Today is the day that teams can begin negotiating with free agents from other teams, and both of New York's res...
Brace Yourselves ... There's Another Baby Mangino ...
Ok, I did not see this one coming. Believe it or not, there are least two different families somewhere in the United States that decided that the perfect Halloween costume for their young infant was to dress him up like Kansas football coach Mark Mangino. What are the odds of that happening twice in...
French Auto Mechanics Are Quite Dedicated
What do you do when your throttle cable snaps and your car dies just a short distance from the end of the stage in your rally car race? You climb under the hood and operate it manually while your navigator steers. I don't see what the big deal is; I used to drive to work this way all the time. By my...
Deadspin Presents The (Very) Poor Man's College Basketball Season Preview Hoedown
You didn't think I would really do it, did you? Well, you were wrong. I solicited team-by-team previews from experts far and wide all across this great land in order to bring you, the reader, the most comprehensive, learned and totally in-your-face college basketball smackdown any where in the Weste...
Former Arizona Wildcats Get Punchy In Europe
Have you heard the one about how in Russia they do things in the opposite way that you would expect them to happen elsewhere? It's a hilarious gag! It might also be the explanation for what went wrong in this Russian basketball game. A minor melee broke out, there was some slight pushing and shovin...
The Packers Are One Step Closer to that Second Round Draft Pick
Last night's ridiculous Jets-Patriots battle in Foxborough turned out to be everything a football fan could hope for , with the requisite Favreian/Spygate intrigue thrown in for good measure. But even though Favre ended up on the winning end of things and played a mistake-free, efficient game, it wa...
Lenny Dykstra's Financial Acumen Called Into Question (Again)
Did that Lenny "Wally Wall Street" Dykstra story from yesterday seem a little fishy? (And familiar?) Well yes, his troubles with a few of his business partners have been well documented, but those were just friendly disagreements over strategy and don't really change the fact that the guy is filthy ...
George W. Bush: Fan Of The Sun Devils ... Or The Shocker?
If you've been on the Internet lately, you've probably seen this picture of the President of the United States making a hand gesture that you probably wouldn't make in front of your own mother. He only did it while posing with the men's and women's track teams from Arizona State University and then ...
Alright You Lowlifes, The Boy From Eastern Illinois Is Back
Just a handful of moments after announcing that Tony Romo would return to action this week, Jerry Jones puffed himself up and guaranteed that the Cowboys would make the playoffs. I believe the term he used is that they would "absolutely" be there. Also, Jones said that he would welcome back Pacman J...
Taste The Goodness Of Vicktory Dogs Wine
When I think of fine wine, I also think of dogs — who doesn't? Throw in Michael Vick, and you have an amusing little wine with a full-bodied locker room bouquet and just a hint of flea powder. Welcome to Carivintas Winery, a Southern California company which markets Vicktory Dogs Wine; 22 varieties ...
Welcome To The House Of Chads
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject : Morning crap Why do I get the feeling that this isn't the only room in Chad Johnson's home that is full of giant portraits of himself? In a move usually reserved for Latin American dictators or...
Lenny Dykstra For Secretary Of The Treasury
It goes without saying that now is not a particularly strong time to be in the stock market. I believe the entire NASDAQ exchange can be had for approximately $42 and a sandwich, but buying it somehow starts foreclosure proceedings on your home. (Finance is complicated.) There is one man, however, w...
According to Jemele Hill, Warren Sapp Deserves a Pounding for Keyshawn "Bitch" Comment
Here's an amusing little snag from Awful Announcing, featuring current "Inside the NFL" analyst Warren Sapp and budding home decorator/"NFL Live" analyst, Keyshawn Johnson. Sapp was responding to viewer questions during his "Ask Warren Anything" segment. One viewer was curious about Sapp's thoughts...
Big Brother Is Watching Your Drunken Upper Bowl Antics
What did we ever do before cellphones with video cameras in them and the democratizing force of YouTube? We got drunk at sporting events without the entire planet knowing that we were thrown down a flight of stairs by arena security. It was a simpler time back then.No fewer than three citizen journ...
Ricky Williams Refuses to Hide from The Woman Trapped Inside Him
In the December issue of Playboy magazine, our buddy Pat Jordan penned an enormous profile on the ganja-toking, yoga-loving problem child, as he attempts to rejuvenate his NFL career with the Miami Dolphins. In the piece, we learn about his many quirks, his relationship with the mother of his two ch...
And Just When You Thought You've Seen Everything on Facebook....
This is Fox Sports/KC Star columnist Jason Whitlock's latest status update. Good God. Somebody send the man a laxative. Given all the problems Facebook has caused people in the last week, this one will hopefully not get anyone fired. Except, perhaps, Mr. Whitlock's proctologist. Odds on being de-fr...
Kerry "the Crooning Cannon" Collins Is a Country Music Songwriter
Lost in the bedlam that has overtaken my hometown over the Titans 9-0 start and Kerry Collins becoming an MVP candidate is this fact: Kerry Collins has written a country song. Which is entertaining on several levels, but not nearly as entertaining as the title: "It's Not Hard to Be Happy When I'm L...