k Page 4037 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Great Moments In Sports Poop History: Mike Florio
We all have our unfortunate poop stories. As you may or may not know, I once pooped my pants while out on the golf course. There was also the one time I woke up in my NYC apartment after a long night of drinking only to discover a Big Daddy Drew shitpattie stuck to the inside of my shorts. Surely, ...
Your Guest Editor Has Arrived. Get All Your Balls In Order.
All right, you listen up, you little freaks. The fun stops here: you're going to shut your stinking traps and behave, dammit! This is one substitute you're not going to SCREW WITH! That's right, I'm your guest editor today. Send your tips to me here, or to [email protected]. And while I'm here, in ...
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSss
And only, like, five people died! Seriously, this is the greatest, bestest thing in the world. As a fan of your favorite team, I hope you do experience it. I never, EVER thought i would. Yeah, that's a car tipped over. See you tomorrow! PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES: WORLD SERIES CHAMPS! GOD, FUCK ME IN THE...
Alabama Fan Waxes Eloquent On Life, Tennessee, and Saban
This is what it has come to: an erudite Alabama fan self-nicknamed "Cowboy" is Phil Fulmer's greatest defender. And Cowboy thinks that Nick Saban might be watching his analysis. Which, given that Saban is all-knowing and all-powerful, He probably is. Find a better mustache than this, I dare you. ...
Arkansas Radio Host Just Thankful Gregg Doyle Didn't Bite Off Any Extremities
Shawn Arnell isn't sure what he did to piss off CBS Sportsline columnist Gregg Doyle so badly. On Tuesday we detailed their radio interview in which Arnell, co-host of KARN's "Morning Animals" show in Little Rock (that's him to the right), jousted with the feisty online columnist about a piece he wr...
Cutler's Beirut Arm Is Stronger Than Elway's
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap "These pictures were taken @ the Tin Roof in Nashville where Jay Cutler spent homecoming. I guess Jay took the 10-7 loss to Duke pretty hard and wanted to show off his Beirut skill...
New Guitar Hero Ad Gives You A Whole New Reason To Hate Tom Cruise
We mentioned this only in passing last week, because a) it was Friday afternoon, b) we didn't have an embeddable version of the video yet, and c) it's pretty embarrassing for everyone involved, including the viewer. You've probably seen Alex Rodriguez, Tony Hawk, Michael Phelps and Kobe Bryant bring...
Danyelle Sargent Is Trying to Put All of This Behind Her
Fox sportscaster and potty-mouthed vixen Danyelle Sargent went on Dan Patrick's SI radio show this morning, sounding beleaguered and contrite for her embarrassing Bill Walsh slip-up that unfortunately made the airwaves on Sunday and unleashed the wrath of Mike Francesa. This is her quote from Patric...
Charles Barkley Realizes Isiah Thomas Suicide Jokes Don't Play Well at Press Conferences
Charles Barkley, loudmouth TNT NBA analyst and potential 2014 gubernatorial nominee, may have finally crossed his own arbitrary tastelessness line. Barkley, commenting on the current state of the Knicks at a press conference, made this unfortunate quip about his old buddy Isiah Thomas, who recently ...
Hockey Player Pulls Off Rare Hat Trick, Has His Stick Taken Away
Brace yourselves: This is not a hockey post. It's a college hockey post. And it's not even a Michigan State college hockey post—although I'm sure I'll find a way to work a few dozen of those in before the CCHA season is over—but when any athlete pulls off something that has happened maybe twice in t...
The Machines Shall Rise, And All Will Fall
All right, so the world is imploding. You know this. I know this too, though only because the Wassup Guys told me. Surely, these are the last days, before the global apocalypse rids the planet of humans and leaves only some cockroaches, a few stray strands of hair and, of course, Kermit, because Ke...
Gregg Doyel Is A Rather Disagreeable Little Fellow
When a national columnist is a guest on your radio show and he proceeds to call the local college quarterback a prostitute, and his his former coach a pimp, then you've got two things, my friend: Ratings gold, and a genuine douchebag. Welcome back to our stage, ladies and gentlemen, Gregg Doyel, who...
Dean Wormer Would Be Horrified
I suppose if one attends a conservative Christian school such as John Brown University in Arkansas, where students are required to sign a pledge that prohibits profanity, pornography, extramarital sex, tobacco, alcohol, gambling and even dancing, then activities like this are sure to be the result. ...
Karl Ravech Is In No Mood To Humor You, Steve Phillips
Sitting in the dangerously wet and windy confines of the centerfield Baseball Tonight perch for three hours, only to walk away empty handed with a six-inning tie, will sour anyone's night. So when a horrible ex-GM decides to run way out to left field for an ill-timed, poorly executed, and borderline...
Not Just Another Pretty Face
Hooo boy. The reporter here — I'm pretty sure — is Danyelle Sargent of Fox, making the Gaffe of the Season so far. And what makes this more sad/amusing is the fact that Sargent was involved in a controversy while at ESPN in 2006 when, thinking her mic was dead, blurted "What the fuck was that?" w...
Tyrone Willingham Is Calling It A Career At Washington
Remember when Ty Willingham was on (or at the) top of the college football world? The guy won a Pac-10 title at Stanford (Stanford!) and in the late '90s was one of the rising stars of the college coaching world. Then in 2002, he replaced George O'Leary Bob Davie at Notre Dame and promptly went 8-0 ...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls..."Men With Balls" Is Here
It is with great pleasure and genuine enthusiasm that I get to point out to you, fair dick joke-friendly Deadspin readership, that the debut novel of not-so-young Drew Magary is ready and available for your consumption. Marvel at his use of creative profanity and his ability to talk about other spor...
Mike Singletary Will Surely Kill Someone Before The Year Is Out
The forecast for the San Francisco 49ers season changed dramatically on Sunday from dismal to dangerous; like the difference between a cold, monotonous drizzle and a lightening storm in the mountains. And we can thank Mike Singletary for that. Not only did the 49ers' new interim coach pull a player ...
Blazing Saddles; A Day At The Breeders' Cup
I don't have many living idols, due to the fact that such folk have an unfortunate tendency to let you down. But I make an exception with this gentleman, who is a big reason that I accepted an invitation to attend the Breeders' Cup at Santa Anita this past Saturday. Meeting the great Mel Brooks was ...
Week Eight Of The NFL And The Phils Are One Game Away
Each Monday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the weekend. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....