Great Moments In Sports Poop History: Mike Florio

We all have our unfortunate poop stories. As you may or may not know, I once pooped my pants while out on the golf course. There was also the one time I woke up in my NYC apartment after a long night of drinking only to discover a Big Daddy Drew shitpattie stuck to the inside of my shorts. Surely, there are more stories like this from the world of sports. And Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk was nice enough to email me the other day with just one such instance.

For the record, I once had a clogged toilet (and no plunger) in my apartment during finals. So I shit in a grocery bag, stapled it shut, and tossed it in the dumpster. I can't wait to tell that one to my grandkids… I can still remember the sound of the staples (three of them) wedging into the old-style brown paper grocery bag. I also lined the bottom of the bag with newspaper to reduce the possibility of seepage.

Two things here. One: I can't believe he lined the bag and then stapled it shut. He's like the Anal Retentive Chef of mad poopers. Two: Notice how crystal clear Florio's memories are of the incident. That's the thing about crapping your pants. It's just like winning a World Series. One misplaced shit can create a fucking lifetime of memories. I'm sure our commenters have plenty of stories of their own. Are you a player/coach/broadcaster/writer/blogger who has shat somewhere you didn't intend to? Or are you a fan who has an intriguing sports pooping story of your own? Send your poop stories to me here. We'll have another entry in this sure-to-be-fabled series later today.