k Page 4104 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Milwaukee's Tailgaters Highly Evolved In All Things Toilet-Related
Where have you publicly evacuated when confronted with an overactive beer-filled bladder and nary a port-o-potty in site to relieve yourself during tailgating? Some duck behind cars and unleash right on the asphalt; others use their empty beer bottles as rudimentary urine containers....

The NCAA Tournament, Like Everything Else, Is Run By Larry Brown
Storming The Floor previews today's NCAA Championship Game between the Kansas Jayhawks and the Memphis Tigers....

Roy Williams Will Scribble Near Your Naughty Bits
Should Roy Williams be enjoying himself this much, considering how completely he screwed up your office pool brackets? Well, at least he's not trying to make money off of the back of the young lady, like someone we know....

Will Bill Self Be The Next To Forsake Kansas?
OK, Kansas fans, we give: After Saturday's first-half shellacking of North Carolina by Kansas, we can no longer deny you the proper admiration, even if your coach did break our Illini fan heart. Bill Self, just one week ago known as the guy who couldn't get past the Elite Eight, might be the most re...

Jake Peavy Doesn't Have Hand
Before we get to Sunday's action, here's what they're saying about the Jake Peavy spitball controversy from over the weekend ......

When Internet Browsers Devour Amazing Prose About Rick Reilly
Oh my sweet God. I had a really, really poignant article about Rick Reilly, the movie Leatherheads, and more thoughts on his comments about bloggers. Then of course, Firefox just had to crash at that very moment in history....

96 Is Not Too Old To Lace Up
This young fellow you see in front if you is John Burnosky, 96 years old, playing in an oldtimers game with a bunch of whipper-snappin' 60-year-olds. He's played hockey in the minor leagues with Gordie Howe, dove off bridges in Canada, and is in the Guinness Book of World Records....

Jake Peavy Packed Kenny Rogers' Hand Cream By Mistake
Earlier we told you of Jake Peavy's masterful one-run complete game win over the Los Angeles Dodgers. A reader sent in these "shots of the screen" indicting a smudginess of the index and middle fingers, and possibly the thumb....

That's A Working Microphone, Derrick Rose
Now one has to wonder what Rose was afraid his teammate was going to say about him. "What do we think of him? I mean, once you get past the premature ejaculating and toenail eating, he's a pretty nice kid who can make things happen on the court. It's a good thing too, we almost forgot his Cabbage Pa...


Kansas, Memphis Sprint Past Everybody
Storming The Floor wraps up last night's non-live-blogged Final Four action....

Your North Carolina-Kansas Live Blog
Now, at last, is the Jayhawks' chance to extract some measure of revenge against Huckleberry Roy Williams, he who doesn't comprehend the enmity, by denying him another title that he couldn't win them. In this likely shootout, a lot hinges on whether the three-man rotation of Sasha Kaun (Sasha Kaun!)...

I'm Your Beer Bong Man, Stop Me As I'm Passing By
Last year on Opening Day, the Milwaukee Brewers faithful unveiled the beer pong orgy. This year they've made it a more intimate occasion, ensuring that each and every Brewers fan gets adequately blasted. Bringing the love back into binge drinking, now that's what it's all about....

NCAA Takes Rigid Anti-Hot Girl Stance
Never have I eaten at a Hooters Restaurant, although I always found it amusing that in Toledo there was a Hooters across the street from a Catholic grade school. (Fun infallible fact: Growing up, Katie Holmes went to school there.) I guess when one hears the food isn't that great, and the only gimmi...

Matt Leinart Suddenly Dirty
• Opening Day! • President Bush would have been a better commissioner. • Look: Daulerio works here now. • Matt Leinart once, and Matt Leinart twice. • Andy Roddick, doing OK for himself. • We miss Davidson already. • Stuart Scott on the microphone. • Joel Zumaya, bringing rock. • Larry King really, ...

NCAA Pants Party: Final Four
All right, well, the games finally tip back off tomorrow, and it's about time: Without any major storyline — The Chalk Bracket just doesn't tend to inspire people — it's been a bit of a slog this week....

Posing As An Unknown ESPN Analyst Not The Way To Score Teens
That man to your right is ESPN college basketball analyst Mark Adams. Some of you may recognize him; most of you may not. That still didn't stop a 48-year-old New Jersey man from posing as Mark Adams in a failed attempt to shack up with a teenage girl....

The Best $187 Million Ever Spent
As Isiah Thomas and the Knicks attempt to finish up their disastrous season and wait to find out what new GM Donnie Walsh will do to rejuvenate the team, it'd probably be a good idea to make sure he doesn't read this Portfolio.com article on how much Isiah has cost the Knicks. The magazine estimates...

Somebody Better Grab That Guy
La New Bears SS Lin Zhi-Shen completely losing his mind after a close play at first in this Friday night's 5-5 tie with the Brother Elephants, charging the first base umpire at full speed from the dugout for about 40 feet and clobbering him with his shoulder and forearm. The Umpire, no small fellow,...

Perhaps The Duke Hatred Has Gone Too Far
Buried in a fun interview with Slate sports editor Josh Levin was this amazing tidbit about the Washington Wizards' promotional team:...