k Page 4145 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sadly, This Still Won't Get You A Date With A Supermodel
If you're like me, you're constantly wondering "what would Kige Ramsey's name be if he were a Brazilian soccer star?" Well, wonder no more: Answer: "Kigildo." Isiah Thomas is also fun to put in there ("Fire Thomisco!"), as is Mike Golic. Golito! It's all thanks to Brazilname, the online name genera...


ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning for its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

LoDuca Will Dodge Your Questions, And Cars
While we're on the steroid beat, DC Sports Bog has a pretty amazing snippet of a Paul LoDuca conversation from the day before the Mitchell Report came out. When in danger, or threatened, just make sure to almost be hit by a car....

Roger Clemens' Uphill Battle
We really haven't learned anything new about Roger Clemens this week. We might have some specifics about what everyone's been whispering about for years, but it's no shocker. And we also were reminded that Roger Clemens, more than anything else, chokes in the clutch....

The New York Knicks Will Not Tolerate Your Taunts
If you're a major sports franchise that's trying to survive rough times, you do anything you can to keep the fans on your side ... winning hearts and minds is almost as important as winning games. So that's why, naturally, the New York Knicks on Monday ejected a fan for holding up a "Fire Isiah' sig...

The People's NBA Closer
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jo— BY PAULIEWALLYJOYNER AT 9:15 AM @J.E. Skeets: Your NBA Closers suck. They're worse than the redesign! @Everyone Else: Why don't we band togeth...

The Definitive Way To Fix The BCS: Another Ridiculous Tournament!
It only seems logical, and frankly inevitable: The only way to resolve this whole BCS chaos is to have ... "playoffs to determine an NCAA playoff system." Stick with us here....

It's Chris Farley Day
Stupid me; I wrote the tag "Todd has another heart attack" for About Last Night without even realizing that today marks the 10th anniversary of the death of Chris Farley. Fortunately, 100 Percent Injury Rate was all over it, putting together a nice tribute post and a bunch of classic Farley clips. ...

SHOTY Elite Eight: Ron Mexico Vs. Isiah Thomas
In the first round, No. 1 seed Ron Mexico/Michael Vick/Ookie was more wobbly than we might have suspected. He could be ripe for an Elite Eight upset....

Greenberg Game Show Takes Nation By Storm
Some of you may have liked Duel, the new Mike Greenberg-hosted game show on ABC. I'll admit to being confused by the entire enterprise; for the first 10 minutes I thought I was watching the first episode of the new season of Lost. Answer the question, Hurley, and The Others will release Sawyer! For...


Elijah Dukes Might Have Some Lady Issues
Just in time for the SHOTY Quarterfinals, our old pal Elijah Dukes is at it again. The guy just can't help himself; his fingers just tap threatening text messages as if they have a mind of their own....

Purple Jesus And His Pop Warner Buddies
Far be it from us to impugn the reputation of a team that has won five in a row and looks, on paper, to be one of the hottest teams in the NFL, but ... heavens to Betsy, if that's what a playoff team looks like, sheesh, when's baseball season?...

Playoff Ball In December
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or stretching, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...

About Last Night
What you missed while battling the Rodents of Unusual Size ... • NFL: Vikings win 20-13, oust Bears from playoff hunt. Mini-Ditka still alive, however. • NBA: Suns beat Spurs, and to add insult to injury they do it while wearing those funky orange-and-gray uniforms. • NHL: Red Wings beat Capitals 4-...

We Still Have Faith
Don't worry, Kyle: You're always a winner in our book....

It's Purple Jesus Vs. The Neckbeard
Yes, yes, tonight's "Monday Night Football" game is somewhat key to deciding that last playoff slot in the NFC, and it's nice to have an MNF game mean something. But who cares about Purple Jesus and the Vikings. It's Kyle Orton's night to shine!...

Gus Johnson "Loves The Internet"
Big ups to Awful Announcing, which, after considerable negotiation, landed an interview with everyone's favorite screaming announcer Gus Johnson. He seems like a friendly enough fellow....