l Page 8131 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Throwing An Intern To The Wolves
We've never done this before — to start this off like a Penthouse Letter — but we are here to put out an open call for an intern. This is not because we need someone to fetch us our slippers or to ejaculate as a result of oral stimulation, though, all told, neither of those are necessarily horrible ...
Pointing Out The Idiocy Of A New Rule
A truly outstanding find from The Wizard Of Odds: Apparently, during the Joe Paterno broken leg game between Penn State and Wisconsin — JoePa's return has been pretty amazing, by the way; the guy's coaching this week — Badgers coach Bret Bielema either discovered a loophole in the controversial new ...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. Baseball with Rob Neyer: Barry Bonds to the Cardinals? Is this what they call karma? • 1 p.m. NFL with Matt Williamson: No matter how hard I try, I can't get any of my Madden players to apply a knee to the groin. Suggestions? • 2...
Your Tuesday Barbaro Update
It's almost that time of the year again, when Santa hitches Barbaro to his sleigh and delivers gifts to all the good boys and girls throughout the world (except France). What happened to Santa's reindeer? All we'll say: Don't look in the freezer....
Lonnie Smith Wanted To Shoot John Schuerholz
We had heard that Lonnie Smith, the former Cardinals and Braves outfielder whose frenetic baserunning was almost as breathtaking as watching him try to play defense (Bill James once pointed out that Smith "really does fall down almost every game), had battled some drug problems back in the late '80s...
NBA Roundup: Return Of The Donald
Taking a look at Monday's action in the National Basketball Association:...
Not Even "Hard Harry" Can Save This Game
Ordinarily, we've tended to make fun of "Monday Night Football"'s tendency to bring "celebrities" into their booth to banter with Bald 1, Bald 2 and Mouthy; it's always a distraction from the game and excruciating to listen to. ("So, uh, guy from 'Desperate Housewives" ... er ... so you're in a coma...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while cautiously negotiating the bunny hill ... • NFL: Seahawks prevail over Raiders despite knee to the groin. • NBA: Jazz Man ... Okur's block preserves Utah's win over Detroit. • NHL: Virtually meaningless statistic of the week: Ducks beat Penguins to tie mark for most straight ga...
Not Exactly Your Marquee MNF Matchup
We love the idea of these late-night open game threads, which started with the World Series — who won that, anyway? — and have morphed into a fun Monday night activity for the bored, drunk and/or curious. But it's pretty tough to dress up tonight's game in anything that resembles anything pretty: ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while saluting the sainted soul that is Ruben Sierra... • NFL: Oakland at Seattle. This probably looked better in July. [ESPN] • NHL: Boston at Atlanta. God shuffles through papers trying to figure out where he wrote down "ice hockey in Georgia." [Versus] • NBA: Bucks at Bulls. Come se...
Harold Reynolds' Notion Of A Proper Contract
As we enjoy the notion of a Harold Reynolds-hired private investigator snooping around Bristol asking Berman where, exactly, on the doll he would like to touch, we note that Harold, deep into his lawsuit against the network for firing him, has gone on the PR offensive, talking to some columnists thi...
Leftovers: A New Rangers Skipper
• Who's the recipient of the Buck Showalter Theory? Ron Washington! [Dallas Morning News] • What exactly do the Knicks want you to experience, again? [copyranter] • Crown their ass! [CrownTheirAss.net] • A consistently funny site about wacky hockey logos. [Bush League Factor]...
Drew Tate Does The Ocho
In the spirit of the Big Ten football theme we've got going this afternoon, we proudly present you with Drew Tate, quarterback for the consistently disappointing Iowa Hawkeyes, rocking out the Halloween party circuit with some pals as, apparently, the bad guys from "Dodgeball." Frankly, this is the ...
Set Tasers Phasers To "Conduct"
At halftime of the Michigan-Ball State game on Saturday, of all people, freaking Picard proved something we've always suspected: Anybody can be a damned band conductor....
Bo Schembechler Gets Meta On Us
We've told you repeatedly about the Dead Schembechlers, the Ohio State fan punk band that features thrash ditties like "Bomb Ann Arbor Now" and "Chad Henne is A Motherfucking Joke." (Their official site is right here, though someone should probably mention that no one does splash pages anymore.)...
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Atlantic 10 Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want that edge. So let's go. (Please send contributions to [email protected])....
Blogdome: Jesse Saves The World
• Jesse Jackson brings peace to Ron Artest and Ben Wallace. [Bench Renaldo] • Another dead horse that just can't get the love of Barbaro. [The Big Picture] • The Sooners pull a Bush-Leinart. [The Wizard Of Odds] • You can find out whatever you need about an NBA guy from his blog. [The Basketball Jon...
Sometimes, The Gatorade Bottle Is Just Too Far Away
We're posting this just to be obnoxious, and we will not pretend otherwise: During Nebraska's 34-20 victory over Missouri, Tigers quarterback Chase Daniel discovers a way to replenish proteins burned through on the field of battle....
Welcome To The Moe Howard 500
Our next story comes from Texas, land of lizards and slapstick, where a NASCAR rivalry boiled over into, well, pretty much what you might expect. Following the Dickies 500 at Texas Motor Speedway on Sunday, an "unidentified crewman for Scott Riggs' team" knocked over driver Kevin Harvick, his wife...
Hirshey: Coach Fight!
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....