l Page 8181 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you dream that on his next CD, Bob Dylan will cover only Lindsay Lohan tunes ... • College football: Kansas at Toledo. Rocket home opener! Please do not leave smudges on the Glass Bowl.[ESPN2] • Golf: PGA Tour, The 84 Lumber Classic, second round, at Farmington, Pa. Michelle Wie lik...

Nothing Says "Sloth" Like A Long College Football Saturday
As has been established, tomorrow is a day for much gluttony/sloth/greed/skinny ladies' head in the box: seven pretty outstanding college football games. And no, we're not referring to Syracuse-Illinois. We are actually offended that the game is on television....

Leftovers: He Was On Steroids? Wha?
• The prosecutor in the Steve Foley case might be a bit of a jerk, even if the guy was drinking. [The Fanhouse] • Liriano won't be back this year, but at least, you know, he's keeping his arm. [Minneapolis Star-Tribune] • South Carolina quarterback free to keep bringing the young ladies into bars. [...

That's All For Whitlock At Page 2
Yesterday, The Big Lead picked up on a throwaway line in a Scoop Jackson chat and postulated that Jason Whitlock could be the next in line to leave the apparently sinking ship that is ESPN Page 2. Considering that Whitlock and Scoop are hardly the best of friends, we weren't quite sure how much fait...

Cultural Oddsmaker: A Very Special Episode
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think. Oh, and apologies, again, to The Dugout....

Rollo Tomasi ...
It's Christmas Eve in the City of Angels ... while decent citizens sleep the sleep of the righteous, hopheads prowl for marijuana, not knowing that a man is coming to stop them! Celebrity crimestopper Jack Vincennes, scourge of grasshoppers and dope fiends everywhere!...

Christ Gets An Asterisk
We found this over at Jesus of the Week, where they made the observation: "I think if this beefy Jesus were put on the stand in front of Congress, He would maintain, 'I'm not here to talk about the past. My message is steroids is bad.' "...

Blogdome: Well, We SUPPOSE He's A Role Model
• Peyton Manning is corrupting the minds of our children. [The Fanhouse] • Who are the worst human beings playing sports? [I Dislike Your Favorite Team] • How the heck are the Mariners surviving without a bench coach? [Seattlest] • More on our friend the Lima dress buyer. [WBRS Sports Blog] • How fa...

We'll Take It Over Bayless On TV, Anyday
Well, Bill Simmons made his appearance on "The Colbert Report," and, as you'd probably expect, those who can stay up that late are talking about it today. Some are pointing out that he finally confirmed that Red Sox fans are happier when they're miserable, a viewpoint he had disparaged for years; so...

Never, Ever Bet On The Texans
In the wake of last week's free-furniture-if-the-Bears-shut-out-the-Packers promotion in Chicago, the folks at Gallery Furniture, the huge Texas furniture place that even hosts a bowl game from time to time, has decided to push all its chips to the middle of the table, 10-gallon hat style....

This Baby Is Not A Public Relations Stooge
Continuing in the grand tradition of cute tiny babies being terrified by professional athletes photos — a genre that hit its pinnacle with this legendary shot — we present this photo of Stephon Marbury, about to be backhanded by a child who doesn't want those cheap-ass ugly shoes....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 2 p.m. Boxing with Dan Rafael: Do you realize that all it's gonna take is one Pauly Shore boxing movie to finally push your sport to extinction? • 3 p.m. FFB Injuries w/Will Carroll: A full hour of sobbing and bitter regret, punctuated...

Taking One ... "Yeoooowwww, Kelly Clarkson!" ... For the Team
What with the price of gas and all, there apparently isn't a lot to do over at the Basney Honda in South Bend, Ind. So co-workers told Jason Gordon that they would chip in and get him two tickets to the Notre Dame-Michigan game, and all Gordon had to do to earn them was get a full body wax. Irish fa...

See, We Weren't Making It Up
So remember the Bubba Bobble Challenge Sex Doll Races tournament, in which the guy was disqualified for — get THIS! — having sex with his "raft?"...

If They Take Away Reggie Bush's Heisman, Did It Really Happen?
Like a lot of people, we're sure, when we initially saw Yahoo! Sports' report — you know, typing the "!" after "Yahoo" must feel a little silly when you're trying to report a serious story — about Reggie Bush allegedly receiving improper gifts from agents when he was at USC, we thought, "Jeez, they'...

The Closer: The AL Central, As Written By The Coen Brothers
Notes from a day in baseball:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while being extradited to Mexico ... • College football ... Turtle soup! Steve Slayton leads Mountaineers' 45-24 win over Maryland. • MLB: Matsui, Cano, Jeter, Yankees. Ho-lee Cow! •Tennis: Lindsay Davenport, Patty Schnyder reach quarterfinals in Bali. Tough gig....

"Yeah, You See, Laserdiscs Are The Future"
This guy is Jim Cantafio, and he, like all football coaches, at his high school level or otherwise, is vaguely unaware that there is a world outside of football, or even that there are people on the planet who have, in fact, never heard of football. ("Al-Qaeda people, and that sort.") But man, can h...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while pleasantly yachting ... • College football: Maryland at West Virginia. Understandably, we have Owen Schmitt Fever. [ESPN] • High school football: Shreveport (La.) Evangel at Southlake Carroll, Texas. Thursday Night Lights. [FSN] • MLB: Philadelphia at Atlanta. In Bizzaro World, P...

Imagine What They'll Call It When They Actually Use It
Far be it from us to pretend to be experts in branding, but this new marketing gimmick for the Cleveland Browns, obviously a "riff" (and "riff" is being generous) on the Steelers' Terrible Towel, is actually called The Dirty Brown Towel....