mls Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is The Worst National Anthem Rendition Ever
Back in January, we brought you Steven Tyler's "Star-Spangled Banner" performance and asked how it stacked up to the worst-ever performances. (Your leading vote-getter was Roseanne's regrettable 1990 crotch-grabbing rendition.)...
David Beckham: Still Scoring Masterful Goals, Still Showing Up Stuart Pearce
Amidst an Olympic team snubbing and disinterest in Opening Ceremony involvement L.A. Galaxy star David Beckham's taken his fair share for, most recently, buffoonery and mascot abuse....
What The Fuck Is Major League Soccer Sending Us?
Our fearless leader, Tommy Craggs, received this message in his inbox a few hours ago from an employee of Major League Soccer:...
Steve Zakuani Returns To Action 15 Months After Gruesome Injury, Embraces The Man Who Pulverized His Leg
Sounders winger Steve Zakuani wondered if he'd ever play soccer again in the months after a brutal sliding tackle from Colorado midfielder Brian Mullan in April 2011 snapped both lower bones in his right leg. (Here's video of that incident, for those of you with strong and empty stomachs.) More t...
Timbers Defender David Horst Took A Shot To The Face At Point-Blank Range
The Portland Timbers turned away San Jose last night at Jeld-Wen Field with a 2-1 win over MLS' top squad. It didn't come without some pain and suffering, though, as defender David Horst lay his face on the line for his team to block a shot in the 37th minute. Lest the reputation that soccer play...
David Beckham Goes Nuts, Kicks Balls At Referee, Starts Shit With Opposing Team's Mascot
Look, Becks, we get that you're frustrated at Great Britain leaving you off the London Olympics squad. We get that. But it's no cause to grow an Austrian mustache and start trolling the world, as amusing as it may be to all of us....
Three Toronto FC Players Arrested In Nightclub Brawl
In Houston ahead of Wednesday's match against the Dynamo, three Toronto FC players found themselves spending a night in jail. According to the Toronto Sun, Luis Silva, Miguel Aceval and Nick Soolsma were arrested for public intoxication after being involved with a fight at the Escobar club in Midtow...
Doc Emrick Reads Promo For MLS, Is Unable To Avoid Ripping Soccer Players For Diving
As NBC Sports Network's Stanley Cup Playoff coverage winds down, the network is transitioning to its key summer coverage to fill the gap until the London Olympics arrive: Major League Soccer. We've long admired NBC's top hockey announcer Doc Emrick for his no-bullshit approach to the game, and it ...
Eric Hassli's Stoppage Time Volley Proved The Existence Of A Canadian Rocket Program
While the Voyageurs Cup may be one of soccer's less-prestigious trophies, claiming it in the Canadian Championship does have its rewards: specifically, an invite to the CONCACAF Champions League. Last night's first leg between Whitecaps and Toronto FC in Vancouver looked like an upset 1-0 win by t...
This Week In Guys Losing Their Lunch On The Soccer Pitch
It has been an unfortunate week for gentlemen suffering gastrointestinal distress on the soccer pitch, as at least two professional stars displayed their athletic acumen—and their lunch—before what we assume was a grossed-out television audience....
Fredy Montero's Long-Range Strike Is A Worthy Response To Yesterday's Cissé Golazo
We brought you a highlight yesterday of what's probably the best goal scored in European soccer this season, and it was almost as if a reply that Major League Soccer brought its own "you can only do that in a video game" highlight stateside last evening. Fitting, then, that it was Fredy Montero of...
Today In Free Kicks: Kyle Walker, Young-Pyo Lee Produced Two Of The Most Gorgeous Goals You'll Ever See
The past 20 hours have been outstanding for fans of set pieces, as two beautiful free kick goals found the net and proved decisive in their respective games. Spurs back Kyle Walker secured victory for his squad in their match this morning against Blackburn with the above strike, a curving weasel o...
Here's Gus Johnson Calling The San Jose Earthquakes' Exciting Last-Second Win
We heard last week from our friends at Awful Announcing that excitable announcer Gus Johnson had picked up the strange gig of calling MLS games on radio for the San Jose Earthquakes. We tuned in tonight, and were not disappointed. While our emeritus editor Will Leitch has concluded that Johnson's...
Maple Leafs Ownership Apologizes To Fans For Yet Another Shitty Season
The Panthers, winners of the Southeast, released a video taking shots at all the critics who said they weren't going to be a good hockey team. (They're not a good hockey team, but whatever.) But Florida's playoff appearance means something in the bigger picture: the Toronto Maple Leafs are now the o...
Houston Dynamo's Colin Clark Calls Ball Boy A "Fuckin' Faggot," Offers Weak Apology
As noted earlier today on Dirty Tackle, Houston Dynamo winger Colin Clark is under fire for blowing up on a ball boy early in last night's match in Seattle. His apology (through Twitter) was of the typical "I didn't mean to disrespect anyone" variety and suggests Clark hasn't been exposed to those...
Philadelphia Goalkeeper Zac McMath's MLS Season Did Not Get Off To The Best Start
Major League Soccer kicked off this weekend, and with MLS Commissioner Don Garber in attendance, the Portland Timbers were eager to put on their best show in the home opener against Philadelphia Union last night. After falling behind 1-0, the Timbers' Andrew Jean-Baptiste knocked this goal past U...
Major League Soccer's Facebook Account Likes Strippers
Several tipsters have sent in what appears to be an example of the dreaded "logged in to the wrong account" snafus that must keep social media interns awake at night....
Philadelphia Union Preseason Friendly Called Off After Not-So-Friendly Fight
The Union are on a tour of Costa Rica to tune up for the start of the MLS regular season, and today's opponents were Primera División side AD Belen. The match was called off midway through the first half, with Belen up 2-0, when the teams engaged in some kicking and shoving....
Houston Dynamo Players Arrested After Fight With Off-Duty Cop Say Racism Was A Factor
Houston Dynamo players Tyler Deric and Warren Creavalle were arrested this weekend after a dust-up with an off-duty cop working security at a bar. From Deric's attorney: "Mr. Deric was with other soccer players, some who were African-Americans. The club did not want them coming in . . . He's not gui...
Taped Premier League Game Doubles Ratings For MLS Final
When David Beckham left Real Madrid five years ago for what was billed as a "million-dollar-a-week" deal with the L.A. Galaxy, he said that he had two goals: He wanted to win an MLS championship, and he wanted to use his name to help raise the league's profile....