no Page 5020 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Taxpayers Fail To Unsoil Bowden's Legacy
The legal costs for FSU's fruitless fight to overturn those 12 forfeited games? $102,000 in tax dollars, and $70,000 from the boosters' fund. [Florida Times-Union]...

Toni Kukoc And Derek Fisher Have Giant Penises, John Salley Says
Courtesy of John Salley, we're told that the NBA's most famous Croatian export is super-hung for a white boy and that Fisher is "six feet tall with a seven foot dick." Gentlemen, welcome to the geoduck club. [SpiderandtheHenchman]...

Today In Police Intervention At Sporting Events
Courtesy of Puck Daddy, Daniel Rahimi of Rogel scored the game-winner in OT and, like all good villains, "shhh"-ed the crowd. The AIK fans took offense and expressed their disapproval by trying to fight the Rogel coaching staff....

Shaquille O'Neal, Hipster Icon: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Great Moments In Drunken Spring Break Failure!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Spring Break Failure, where we showcase heartwarming true stories of spring break gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Is Donovan McNabb Dicking The Eagles Around?
If you can think of a better explanation for stating he'd like to be traded to a team that has no intentions of trading for him, I'd like to hear it....

High School Players' Late Father Honored — For All Of Three Months
Due to budget cuts, a Baltimore Catholic school is closing down the court that in December was renamed in memory of the father of two sophomore players. Better than selling the naming rights, I suppose. [Baltimore Sun]...

Harold Reynolds Disputes "Harold Reynolds Spring Break Story"
Yesterday we published a somewhat ridiculous Spring Break story from a reader named Kevin that featured an odd cameo from MLB Network analyst Harold Reynolds. Shockingly, Reynolds claims the story is bogus....

The Worst Offseason Workout Program Ever
A longtime North Carolina high school coach is accused of, well, basically torturing some of his students after inviting them over to "lift weights." Seriously, this is Jame Gumb shit right here....

"Paris Hilton Was Taking It From Behind From Some Rock Star..."
Here are some fun recollections from one former MTV producer who worked on several of the network's debauchery-filled Spring Break broadcasts in the early 2000's. He wishes to remain anonymous....

Philadelphia's MLS Team Plays Dirty, Like A Philly Team Should
Well, the Philadelphia Union exist now. And if one game is a large enough sample size, they're going to be every bit as physical as the city has come to expect from its teams....

Pittsburgh Pirates: October 14, 1992
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Pittsburgh Pirates....

<em>Joe Buck Live</em> Pretty Much Dead, Joe Buck Says
Fox's Joe Buck seems convinced "Joe Buck Live" will be canceled, but HBO still hasn't made it official. HBO reps went the "no comment" route when we asked about the show's status. Joe Buck sent us these parting thoughts:...

Down And Out In Daytona, Part 3: A False-Titted Spring
This is the final installment of Pat Jordan's Spring Break adventure, in which our correspondent attends a wet t-shirt contest and finds America in a state of permanent adolescence and mild arousal. Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here....

It's Going To Be Another Great Year In Detroit
Free Press headline on Kevin Smith's ACL rehab: "I can do almost everything." Uncut quote, from Smith's blog: "I can do almost everything except run."...

Last Night's Winner: Shining Moments
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the captive audience fully engrossed in this year's highly entertaining NCAA Tournament, which somehow keeps getting better....

I Guess They'll Let Anyone Go There Now: Your 9:30ish Open Thread
It's the rich kids vs. the (shhh) rich kids, i.e. Cornell-Kentucky. The Pride of Cincinnati vs. The Other Manhattan, i.e. Xavier-Kansas State. Will Ashley Judd be seen again, or can Cornell win one for a fictional character?...

Appalachia! F-Yeah! Your 7ish Open Thread
Butler takes on Syracuse (in Salt Lake City), and Washington takes on West Virginia (in Syracuse). Will the Big East's reputation be saved tonight, or will it be taunted and booed until throats are sore?...

Video: Yes, If You Were Wondering, A Samurai <em>Can</em> Slice A Baseball In Half
Watch as a samurai unsheaths his katana and splits a baseball in twain as it approaches the plate. I think there's something in the rulebooks to prevent this. [TechEBlog]...

Barack Obama Did Not Bail Out His Brother-In-Law At Oregon State
Today In Email Forwards From Your Crazy Aunt: Did Barack Obama funnel $17 million worth of federal stimulus money to Oregon State in order to save his wife's brother's coaching job? Uh ... no....