no Page 5026 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Courtney Coxian Women Confront Snapping-Turtle Problem: Houston-Maryland Open Thread
Before Greivis Vasquez can take his "poor man's Manu Ginobili" routine to the next round, he'll have to lance the proverbial boil that is Aubrey Coleman and the Houston Cougars. Make a sweat pun whenever Gary Williams is on screen....

Pitino-Backed Red Birds Attempt To Screw Bears On Restaurant Table, So To Speak: Lousiville-Cal Open Thread
You were expecting a different picture, weren't you? Louisville had an off-year, and so did the Pac-10; there might as well be two pictures to keep you engaged. Say "Samardo Samuels" thrice into a mirror and comment the results....

Argentine Outlaws Clash With Malodorous Nuts: UC Santa Barbara-Ohio State Open Thread
Can Orlando Johnson do an Evan Turner Impression and bounce the Buckeyes? Not if Thad's boys can help it. (Expect them to help it.) Michigan fans: say how much OSU sucks. OSU fans: hang out and continue ignoring Michigan fans....

Medium-Sized Kitties Paw At Overly Tanned New Yorkers: Vermont-Syracuse Open Thread
This is not going to be a repeat of the 2005 game between these teams since 'Cuse is actually good this year. The town of Syracuse is responsible for this, though, so chug some maple syrup and comment it up....

Shining Kings Of The Serengeti Beset By Cerulean Satans: Arkansas Pine Bluff-Duke Open Thread
Duke's better this year than it's been in a while; expect the Blue Devils to crack 120 in this game. Look for floor-slaps galore by the scrubs who get into the game with about seven minutes to play....

Food Producers Meet Greeks, Make Orzo Together: New Mexico State-Michigan State Open Thread
Having Kalin Lucas, Raymar Morgan and Tom Izzo means MSU is a threat to make a run. Jahmar Young and Jonathon Gibson are pretty sick themselves. Lunardi says NMSU's just happy to be there. Can they prove him wrong?...

Cattle Rustlers Wearing Flashy Coats: Georgia Tech-Oklahoma State Open Thread
Oklahoma State has a 1-2 punch in James Anderson and Obi Muonelo, but the team's undersized. Georgia Tech's Derrick Favors and Gani Lawal are said to be "bruisers." They should get that checked out by a doctor....

Andrew Jackson's Least Favorite Team Vs. Everyone Else's: Florida State-Gonzaga
The days of Casey Calvary and Matt Santangelo are gone; Gonzaga has become a West Coast Duke. Solomon Alabi has the name of an extra from Angel Heart but is also a defensive force. Will we see Matt Bouldin cry?...

Jimmer Fredette Is Amazing, According To His Brother's Rap Song
In a jam that is straight slathered in metaphors, T.J. Fredette, brother of BYU's Szczerbiak 2.0, spits fire like ... the first Mormon rapper I've ever heard. Have fun with this....

The Best Thing You'll Read About Tiger's Sexting
What could Joslyn James have written to elicit Tiger's, "Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own"? Perhaps: "My screenplay really isn't coming together. Need some dialogue for the enraged donkey-owning farmer." [Slate]...

Gus Johnson Calls Your Life
Introducing the Gus Johnson soundboard. I give it less than a day before America is having sex to "rise and fire." [Best Thing Ever]...

A Bounty Of Aggies! Utah State-Texas A&M Open Thread
In the marquee matchup of teams with the same name, the Mormon Aggies look for their first tourney win since 2001, and the ten-gallon Aggies try to advance to the second round for the sixth year in a row....

Fighter Jet Flyover Threatens, Thrills Thousands
Two Navy fighter pilots were grounded after buzzing a Georgia Tech game at the decidedly unsafe altitude of just a few hundred feet....

Sick Of Ashley Judd And/Or The John Wall Dance Yet? A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Yippy Dog Vs. Weasel: Wofford-Wisconsin Open Thread (RUH-ROH ALERT)
The appropriately named Wofford Terriers are undersized and making their tournament debut, but they are incessant. Wisconsin is better than everyone thinks. Treasure of the Sierra Madre jokes? We don't need no stinkin' Treasure of the Sierra Madre jokes....

Reminder: Send In Your Photos of Ugly Americans from St. Pat's
You saw them: Dudes in Erin Go Bragh berets slipping in green sick and Sexy Leprechauns flashing their bloomers and otherwise atop a shamrock float. Share your photos of the ugliest messes you encountered on St. Pat's and you could win big!...

Geographically Confused Bears Vs. The Jungle Cats Of The Monongahela: Oakland-Pittsburgh Open Thread
Oakland got beaten by a lot of highly regarded teams this year; did that make them stronger? Is Pitt legit or playing above their heads? Why is a Michigan school so California-centric?...

Tigers Aplenty! Missouri-Clemson Open Thread (CLOSE GAME WATCH)
Both of these teams love to play fast and loose, and Clemson's Trevor Booker might be the best player on the court. However, the Big 12 was better this year and Mizzou is very well-rounded. Tigers by five....

Canonized Tuscans Want To Play A Jesus Lizard Single: Siena-Purdue Open Thread
Four players averaging double figures, a coach named Fran, and they beat Ohio State last year — Siena's good. Purdue's missing Robbie Hummel, but Chris Kramer has the gumption to become a hated March Madness figure. Don't sleep on them....

Kornheiser-Armstrong Feud Forces Clear Channel To Ban Cycling Talk
America is a house divided thanks to Tony Kornheiser and Lance Armstrong's "car vs. bike" stand off, but thankfully radio executives have issued strict orders for everyone on their air to shut the hell up about it....