no Page 5035 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Inflatable Dong-Tongued Mascot Returns To Eat ESPN's Michelle Beadle
Mackerel Jordan, last seen devouring hapless university athletic department employees, appeared on SportsNation yesterday. After being mocked by Michelle Beadle, the man-fish did what man-fish do best: feast....
Texas Rangers: Reminding Them Of Steak
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: Texas Rangers....
Dispatch: "I Jacked It On Camera For Money"
Two days ago, Drew Magary wondered out loud if any of our readers would really do porn if offered. Well, one anonymous reader has. Here is his story....
Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: The 49ers Like "Winners"
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: 49ers coach Mike Singletary seeks a younger version of Mike Singletary....
Last Night's Winner: People Who Enjoy Watching Yankee Stadium Blow Up
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the folks who get a perverse thrill from watching that pompous old Bronx ornament get gutted and torn apart, piece by self-important piece....
Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ladies and germs, I give you Jerry Thornton of WEEI....
Ron Darling Not High On Mets This Year And Has Attractive Wife, Says My Dad
Subject: "scoop": aj,talked to ron darling in the hot tub.asked him if the mets could catch the phillies".no way the phillies are too strong".his wife is a knockout her name is joanna last.could be wip material.dad...
Beadle Distressed By Inflatable Dong Tongue; Cowherd, Not So Much
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Finally, A Basebrawl With Two Separate Felony Assaults
How often does SportsCenter tease a bench-clearing brawl, only to disappoint you when it turns out the hitter doesn't chase the pitcher into the outfield with his bat? Here's one that lives up to the promise inherent in every beanball....
Boston Fans To Pay For Right To Buy Drinks
Ah, the good old days when the creeping menace of seat licenses were only confined to actual sporting events. Not anymore, thanks to Jerry Remy's new sports bar, and its $500 season passes....
Florida State Has Asterisks Everywhere
FSU's Sod Cemetery contains grass from the sites of important road wins; some of which, according to the NCAA, are no longer wins. One fan of jurisprudence (and the Gators) took it upon himself to update the headstones. [EDSBS]...
How To Destroy Baseball In One Easy Step
A special committee has been looking into way to solve baseball's parity problems, and one of the proposed fixes will blow your freaking mind. Picture realignment, every season, based on teams choosing the division they want to be in....
Dykstra Strikes Out With The Help, Gets Sued
His financial empire in ruins, can we begrudge Lenny Dykstra his desire for a blow job? Yes we can, when he wants it from his personal assistant, and it's entirely non-consensual....
Even The Promotional Copy For Rick Reilly®'s New Book Is Phoned-In
"His new book — out May 4, 2010 — is called 'Sports From Hell, My Two-year Search for the World's Dumbest Competition'. It's the account of his three-year search for the dumbest sport in the world." [ESPN, h/t Jordan]...
Donavon Mcnabb Traded To San Fransisco; Donovan McNabb Still On Eagles
The pic above is from this website, which posted the phony McNabb trade rumor and has confused plenty of people, including poor Michael Smith, who was credited with breaking the phantom story this morning....
Show Us the Ugliest Americans You Can Find on St. Patrick's Day
In honor of Comedy Central's new show Ugly Americans, let's see the ugliest messes you encounter this St. Pat's. Send photos to [email protected]. The ugliest will be posted here for a vote. Winner gets a $300 AMEX gift card. Woot! [Rules]...
Kige Ramsey's Star Is Larger Than Most Natural Cave Systems In Kentucky
The "YouTube Sports" reporter's career is flowering. First, listen to him annihilate a Tennessee fan during a hillbilly debate on 104.5TheZone's "3 Hour Lunch" by boasting about Kentucky's "natural cave systems". Also, The Jimmy Fallon Show fellates him....
Fortunately, Drowning Is Only A Double Minor
Remember, Zamboni is a brand name for one specific ice resurfacing machine maker. For example, this one changes solid surfaces into liquid but it could've been manufactured by several different companies that will no longer honor the warranty. [DenverPost]...
Beckham Prepares For A Tearful Reunion… With The Bench?
"David! David! Daaaaviiiiiid!"...
Detroit Lion Meets Real Lions To Raise Lion Awareness, Taunt Lions With Lions Helmet
Today in animal news, Detroit Lions linebacker Zack Follet went to California's Cat Haven to visit with some real lions and create a video that will make you feel very, very stoned....