port Page 953 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sportswriting Declared Dead. Again.
Next month's Texas Monthly has a story about the death of sportswriting. It's official: Writing about the death of sportswriting is finally dead....

The Legitimate Interest In Simmons' GM Candidacy Called Into Question
The Sports Fella set Minnesotans' hearts aflutter with his semi-serious T'Wolves GM idea, resulting in thousands of pro-Simmons emails from a disillusioned fan base to a befuddled T'Wolves executive office. But somebody's rigging the numbers....

The L.A. Times Pens The Mother Of All Steroid Columns
Here it is, folks. Served up piping hot by Kurt Streeter in Sunday's Los Angeles Times — the platonic ideal of a steroid-outrage column....

The Secrets Behind Silly Sports Blog Names Are Revealed
Ever wonder who put the "Kissing" in "Kissing Suzy Kolber?" Or the "Ball" in "Ball Don't Lie?" Or The "Spin" in "Deadspin?" Cease your consternation! [You Been Blinded]...

Delaware Still Not As Fun As Las Vegas
Delaware's governor says he will keep fighting to make sports betting legal, even after his wagering bill lost in the state legislature by two votes. I had +3.5, so at least they covered. [Star-Ledger]...

Toledo Athletes Accused Of Point Shaving
Six basketball and football players from the University of Toledo and two men from the Detroit area have been indicted on charges of "conspiracy to commit sports bribery" for shaving points between 2004 and 2006....

Trail Blazer-Themed Pipes Make A Great Mother's Day Gift
If you live in Portland and have playoff tickets, someone would like to trade you these beautiful glass pipes for your ducats. I'm not sure what you would use them for, though. [Ball Don't Lie]...

Stinky Jinx Makes Greinke Cranky
Zack Greinke makes the cover of Sports Illustrated (the first Royal in 16 years) and promptly loses his 43-inning scoreless streak. I thought this guy was great at overcoming obstacles or something. [FantasyPros911]...

If You're Reading This Post, You Now Have Swine Flu
The state of Texas is postponing all of its high school sports activities (plus some nerdy stuff) in order to keep their filthy population from spreading the deadly pork-based flu virus. You may commence panicking....

The Snuggie Finds Its Great Untapped Market
The Snuggie will soon be available in the colors and logo of your favorite college teams? Ok ... now I'll buy one. [CNBC]...

Goodell: Super Bowl In London? Are You High?
Did my eyes deceive me, or did the BBC report this morning that the Super Bowl is coming to London? Yep, here it is. Boy was Roger Goodell surprised when he found out....

Girl, 12, Throws Perfect Game, Is Called Up By Mets
The taunting rings in your ears and burns like fire, and will for years. A girl pitched a perfect game against your Little League team, and you struck out three times. Nelson Muntz approves....

Which Of These Nightmare Fuels Will Be The New St. John's Mascot?
What, no giant talking beer keg? St. John's has a storied and troubled history when it comes to mascots, and the current vote to find a new one is not going to help, it appears....

Feds Seize Brandi Chastain's Bra, Demand Ransom
If you want to see the bra alive again, leave $250 in unmarked bills at the enclosed location. No tricks. Bra will be shipped within 5-7 business days....

Football Coach Bans Student Reporters, Takes Gratuitous Shot At Soccer (Update)
Angered over a recent editorial in the school paper, the head football coach at Wisconsin-Whitewater has denied student reporters any access to his team this coming fall....

The Continuing Sports Media Evolution Of Condi Rice
According to sources at HBO, at a production meeting last week, staffers were informed that former Sec. Of State Condoleezza Rice's agent had inquired about her joining Bryant Gumbel's "Real Sports" reporting team....

Behold The Frankenstein Boston Sports Tattoo
Spring is here, which means that once again the Boston sports tattoos are uncovered in all their glory. Look, here's an insane interesting one....

Lies, Damned Lies, And Swimsuit Issues
Sports Illustrated publishes a fake letter to the editor about their Swimsuit Issue and the world nearly explodes. You know....I think some of those Penthouse Forum stories might be slightly embellished as well. [Cleveland Frowns]...

Sidney Crosby Gets The Philadelphia Salute; Deadspin Almost Falls Apart
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
