port Page 984 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let's Not Forget The Real Victim Here
In all the rigmarole destined to take over the sports airwaves in the coming days, let's not forget who will suffer the real ramifications of the definitive proof that Barry Bonds took steroids story: ESPN....
Bonds Won't Get Off The Hook This Time
OK, if you've hadn't a chance to dig into the Bonds Sports Illustrated story yet, we cannot recommend it more highly....
The End Of Barry Bonds
So we just got back from lunch ... what'd we miss?...
Authors With Pure Hearts: Sam Walker
When we were on our Caribbean vacation a while back, we spent most of our time on a beach, sipping blue beverages and ... reading about fantasy baseball. Naturally. Specifically, we were reading Sam Walker's Fantasyland, a relentlessly entertaining look at a fantasy baseball virgin attempting to win...
Brawl Erupts After Catholic League Game; Harp Daddy Unharmed
Some Catholics have evidently given up civility for Lent, as a huge brawl broke out after the Philadelphia Catholic League high school championship basketball game....
The Cold-Blooded World of Competitive Kickball
Our nation's courts have recently been home to some vicious legal battles about the sport of kickball. The WAKA (World Adult Kickball Association) has beef with DCKickball about... well, I have no idea what it's about. The news here is that there are adults out there who play kickball....
Authors With Pure Hearts: Will Blythe
We've taken some time off from the Authors With Pure Hearts series, but we gleefully return with Will Blythe's To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy Forever, a hysterical, slightly crazed book about what it means to hate so much that it becomes purifying. In the case of Blythe, born and bred in North Car...
Blogdom's Best: Portland Trail Blazers
It might not yet have the online fanaticism and cachet of baseball, but the NBA and its fans are starting to catch up in the world of team-devoted blogs. To this end, Deadspin salutes these modem-addled souls and proudly presents Blogdom s Best, given to the most outstanding blog for each NBA team...
The Final Wake Of Southeast Jerome
To, at last, close the book on our man Clinton Portis and all his press conference personas from the last year, the man himself has finally updated his personal Web site with a detailed timeline, with biographical sketches, of each fraction of his tortured soul....
Blogdome: Pretending There Are Things In The World Other Than Football
• On Wednesday, Louisville forward Chad Millard has part of his jaw crushed, three teeth knocked out, and needed dental surgery. And he's in the line-up today. I can't relate. [Pitt Panther Hoops]...
He Stands Before You. Clinton. Simply Clinton.
If the real sports world were like the Deadspin sports world, someone like Dennis Rodman or Joe Pepitone would be popping open some champagne this morning, 1972 Dolphins-style: The Clinton Portis madness streak has finally come to an end....
Redskins Surprisingly Effective Car Salesmen
With the Redskins improbably advancing to the NFL's Final Eight, we're obviously going to be ratcheting up the Clinton Portis coverage even more than we already have, if that's not terrifying enough for you. As a little appetizer, though, we present you this gaggle of advertisements for Easterns A...
That Odd High School Football Game
This is perhaps the weirdest sporting event of the year, and that includes any 4 a.m. log-rolling competitions that you might catch on ESPN2....
Coach Janky Spanky: Cliffs Notes Version
We know this has already been covered here, but, honestly, we're still so blown away by Clinton Portis' performance as "Coach Janky Spanky" yesterday that we feel obliged to point out the highlights for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of watching it yet. Here's a cheat sheet....
Portis Becoming Subtle Character Actor
We've witnessed the newest Clinton Portis character, and we have to say, even though the costume leaves much to be desired, it might be our favorite one yet....
Clinton Portis' Supermarket Sweep
Ever wonder what Clinton Portis might do if given $10,000 to spend in a Best Buy in the span of half an hour? Jeez, who hasn't?...
Ma Sweets Will Punch You In The Mouth
What kind of woman would raise a man who would wear a costume like this? What kind of woman could raise such a spawn?...
Southeast Jerome In Heaven With Friends
OK, so as we showed you yesterday, Clinton Portis brought along some pals for his press conference yesterday. The conceit was that Southeast Jerome — who had been previously considered "lost" — had died and made it to heaven with all his friends. They included:...
Clinton Portis And His New Friends
We'll get into this more tomorrow ... but if you go to Redskins.com right now, you'll see that our man Clinton Portis has, uh, brought a few friends along for his weekly psychological exploration....
Portis Now Getting Costume From Garage Sales
Just for the record, yesterday Redskins running back Clinton Portis wore a old leather football helmet, pigtails and Groucho Marx glasses. He called himself "Inspector Two Two." We have no idea what any of this means anymore. At this point, he's just cleaning out the neighbor's closet. In the fin...